A girl (19F) was interested in me but I (20M) had a hard time showing interest back and eventually she lost it. We are still friends but, is there anyway I can get her to be interested again?

So, this is a bit of a long story, but I'll summarize. Basically I met this girl (Emma) back at the beginning of last year at a party. We hit it off, she tells me several times that she finds me attractive, we kiss and follow each other on social media. I then ask some of my friends in common about her and they tell me she had very recently gone through a break up of a 5 year relationship and is not over the guy, so I decide not to take it further. 

Fast forward 6 months after I first met Emma, and she transfers to my major. We start talking again, it seems she is now totally over her ex, and still interested in me. My friends would confirm she was flirting. She would kiss my cheek while I helped her, joke about us getting married recall how we met and call it cute and romantic... Thing is, I never flirted back. Not because I didn't want too, I just couldn't bring myself to do it, I would get flustered and freeze. The most I could do was awkwardly laugh. (I've since been to therapy and apparently I have bad social anxiety so... great... but hey at least I'm in therapy)

Whatever, I really like her so I decided I was going to ask her out and just be upfront about my feelings. I talked to one of my best friends (Dave) about it. Dave had known Emma for longer than me so I figured he would help. Welp, Dave told me to get away from her, and all sorts of bad things about Emma. He said that she would surely end up breaking my heart. In my mind, Dave had no reason to lie and I believed him.

Emma and I had lunch a few days after but the vibe is 100% friendly. She had been flirting less and less anyway, I guess since I never reciprocated. We never addressed anything and pretty much just continue being regular friends. I'm bummed out since I really did like her but, oh well. I want to make it clear I was never mean to Emma, since I truly had no reason too, I just treated her as a friend instead of a potential girlfriend due to a combination of anxiety and Dave's comments.

Well... Turned out Dave is a bit of an asshole. Weeks later he and I got into an argument because I rejected his offer to do cocaine. He is pissed at me for not doing coke with him and then I get angry since I never even judged him for it I just didn't want to do it myself and, whatever. I end up leaving and wake up to him having blocked me everywhere. It didn't take long for me to find out he had started to call me a backstabbing asshole and just making straight up lies about me... very similar to the things he told me about Emma.

I realized he may have lied about her too and feel like a dumbass for just taking his word. We were on vacation so the only interactions I had had with Emma had been occasional on social media. On New Years Eve I say fuck it and tell her I have a crush on her, which she pretty much ignores and gives me a (super) soft rejection. I later find out she was starting to date someone else.

Well, they ended up breaking up! I saw Emma briefly while classes were still going and we got along well. She asked me to run some errands with her and said it was nice to see me again. Still it seems like she is no longer interested at all. Four days later classes were moved online because of covid. Now we occasionally talk but only about assignments. 

Now that I am more by myself, I'm starting to really regret the whole thing and just think about the "what if's?". If things were normal I'd ask her out for sure but... they aren't. And no one has a clue how long we'll be in this situation but it seems like it's gonna be a while... and I'm just really bummed out. 

Is there anything I can do to get her interested in me again or do I just move on?

TL;DR! I'm pretty sure a girl was interested in me but I messed up by not showing interest back and she started dating someone else. She is now single again but I can't ask her out for who knows how long because of quarantine. Is there anything I can do to get her interested again or do I just move on?

Submitted May 05, 2020 at 12:17AM

So, this is a bit of a long story, but I'll summarize. Basically I met this girl (Emma) back at the beginning of last year at a party. We hit it off, she tells me several times that she finds me attractive, we kiss and follow each other on social media. I then ask some of my friends in common about her and they tell me she had very recently gone through a break up of a 5 year relationship and is not over the guy, so I decide not to take it further. Fast forward 6 months after I first met Emma, and she transfers to my major. We start talking again, it seems she is now totally over her ex, and still interested in me. My friends would confirm she was flirting. She would kiss my cheek while I helped her, joke about us getting married recall how we met and call it cute and romantic... Thing is, I never flirted back. Not because I didn't want too, I just couldn't bring myself to do it, I would get flustered and freeze. The most I could do was awkwardly laugh. (I've since been to therapy and apparently I have bad social anxiety so... great... but hey at least I'm in therapy)Whatever, I really like her so I decided I was going to ask her out and just be upfront about my feelings. I talked to one of my best friends (Dave) about it. Dave had known Emma for longer than me so I figured he would help. Welp, Dave told me to get away from her, and all sorts of bad things about Emma. He said that she would surely end up breaking my heart. In my mind, Dave had no reason to lie and I believed him.Emma and I had lunch a few days after but the vibe is 100% friendly. She had been flirting less and less anyway, I guess since I never reciprocated. We never addressed anything and pretty much just continue being regular friends. I'm bummed out since I really did like her but, oh well. I want to make it clear I was never mean to Emma, since I truly had no reason too, I just treated her as a friend instead of a potential girlfriend due to a combination of anxiety and Dave's comments.Well... Turned out Dave is a bit of an asshole. Weeks later he and I got into an argument because I rejected his offer to do cocaine. He is pissed at me for not doing coke with him and then I get angry since I never even judged him for it I just didn't want to do it myself and, whatever. I end up leaving and wake up to him having blocked me everywhere. It didn't take long for me to find out he had started to call me a backstabbing asshole and just making straight up lies about me... very similar to the things he told me about Emma.I realized he may have lied about her too and feel like a dumbass for just taking his word. We were on vacation so the only interactions I had had with Emma had been occasional on social media. On New Years Eve I say fuck it and tell her I have a crush on her, which she pretty much ignores and gives me a (super) soft rejection. I later find out she was starting to date someone else.Well, they ended up breaking up! I saw Emma briefly while classes were still going and we got along well. She asked me to run some errands with her and said it was nice to see me again. Still it seems like she is no longer interested at all. Four days later classes were moved online because of covid. Now we occasionally talk but only about assignments. Now that I am more by myself, I'm starting to really regret the whole thing and just think about the "what if's?". If things were normal I'd ask her out for sure but... they aren't. And no one has a clue how long we'll be in this situation but it seems like it's gonna be a while... and I'm just really bummed out. Is there anything I can do to get her interested in me again or do I just move on?TL;DR! I'm pretty sure a girl was interested in me but I messed up by not showing interest back and she started dating someone else. She is now single again but I can't ask her out for who knows how long because of quarantine. Is there anything I can do to get her interested again or do I just move on?