Husband (31M) continuing Jiu Jitsu duing quarantine and I'm uncomfortable... what now?

Hi all,

​

Long story short, my husband (31 M) has been inviting his friend over several times a week to work out together - jiu jitsu, specifically. This means that they are literally grappling with each other 3 times a week. I (26 F) have previously had pneumonia and was.... well, am, really uncomfortable with it. He just doesn't understand. He understands how serious the pandemic is, mocks protesters, etc. But he feels that since it is just one friend and they're cleaning the mats before and after, that I am being unreasonable and controlling. In some ways, I guess that's true. However, I also feel some animosity growing on my end because I feel my concerns about my health should be more important than participating in a hobby - an important and healthy one, but obviously non-essential.

​

With that in mind, can you guys offer some perspective? I'm totally willing to accept it if I'm being unreasonable; it's hard to tell in these unprecedented times. Is it wrong that I'm taking this choice pretty personally?

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TlDR; Husband is rolling around with jiu jitsu bud and wife who had pneumonia is freaking out - both parties think the other person is being unreasonable



Submitted May 05, 2020 at 12:08AM

Hi all,​Long story short, my husband (31 M) has been inviting his friend over several times a week to work out together - jiu jitsu, specifically. This means that they are literally grappling with each other 3 times a week. I (26 F) have previously had pneumonia and was.... well, am, really uncomfortable with it. He just doesn't understand. He understands how serious the pandemic is, mocks protesters, etc. But he feels that since it is just one friend and they're cleaning the mats before and after, that I am being unreasonable and controlling. In some ways, I guess that's true. However, I also feel some animosity growing on my end because I feel my concerns about my health should be more important than participating in a hobby - an important and healthy one, but obviously non-essential.​With that in mind, can you guys offer some perspective? I'm totally willing to accept it if I'm being unreasonable; it's hard to tell in these unprecedented times. Is it wrong that I'm taking this choice pretty personally?​TlDR; Husband is rolling around with jiu jitsu bud and wife who had pneumonia is freaking out - both parties think the other person is being unreasonable
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