Uncomfortable / anxious around my father

Uncomfortable / anxious around my father

I’m new to this, so I’m sorry for any formatting issues.

For the past 4 years, my (20f) dad and i’s relationship has been extremely toxic. It started when I began to have political views vastly different than his and we began to argue every day. I tried to bring up other topics we could talk about, but it seems like whatever we talk about, he makes it about how I need to think differently.

About a year ago, I borrowed his phone when he was not in the room and I saw a large amount of pictures of naked women sent in a chat with him and two friends. My dad has been married to my mom for 20+ years and though they argue all the time, I don’t think he would cheat on her.

Ever since then, I’ve felt anger towards him that I can’t move past. When I come out of the bathroom and I’m just wearing a towel and I walk past him I feel vastly uncomfortable. When I mentioned to my mom out loud I wanted to buy another pair of high-waisted jeans, my dad said he doesn’t think it’s “right” for me to wear those. I don’t know how to explain it, or if it is just in my head, but I don’t like the way he looks at me.

Lately our arguments have been about a variety of things. I think he blames me for him and my mom’s fights, because I always tell her everything about me and his fights. He says I’m turning out just like her and will often send me paragraphs about how I’m a horrible person and swears at me. He only ever swears at me over text, but it makes it even more hurtful because he takes the time to write these long paragraphs.

It has damaged my romantic relationships in the past, because I get scared my partners will pick out and analyze all of my very specific faults like my dad does.

I don’t know how to move forward in our relationship, because I am going to have to live here for 2 more years until I’m done with school. I don’t think he’d ever hurt me physically, but emotionally it’s something new every day.

TL;DR I don’t know how to move forward in my relationship with my dad, given how I feel towards him and how it affects me personally.

Submitted April 04, 2020 at 12:09AM

Uncomfortable / anxious around my fatherI’m new to this, so I’m sorry for any formatting issues.For the past 4 years, my (20f) dad and i’s relationship has been extremely toxic. It started when I began to have political views vastly different than his and we began to argue every day. I tried to bring up other topics we could talk about, but it seems like whatever we talk about, he makes it about how I need to think differently.About a year ago, I borrowed his phone when he was not in the room and I saw a large amount of pictures of naked women sent in a chat with him and two friends. My dad has been married to my mom for 20+ years and though they argue all the time, I don’t think he would cheat on her.Ever since then, I’ve felt anger towards him that I can’t move past. When I come out of the bathroom and I’m just wearing a towel and I walk past him I feel vastly uncomfortable. When I mentioned to my mom out loud I wanted to buy another pair of high-waisted jeans, my dad said he doesn’t think it’s “right” for me to wear those. I don’t know how to explain it, or if it is just in my head, but I don’t like the way he looks at me.Lately our arguments have been about a variety of things. I think he blames me for him and my mom’s fights, because I always tell her everything about me and his fights. He says I’m turning out just like her and will often send me paragraphs about how I’m a horrible person and swears at me. He only ever swears at me over text, but it makes it even more hurtful because he takes the time to write these long paragraphs.It has damaged my romantic relationships in the past, because I get scared my partners will pick out and analyze all of my very specific faults like my dad does.I don’t know how to move forward in our relationship, because I am going to have to live here for 2 more years until I’m done with school. I don’t think he’d ever hurt me physically, but emotionally it’s something new every day.TL;DR I don’t know how to move forward in my relationship with my dad, given how I feel towards him and how it affects me personally.