I [17F] cut off a close toxic friend [17F] but she wonders if we're still friends and I'm not sure

So I've been friends with her since we've started middle school. We've been through a lot and I've helped her many times. She's a great person at heart, but she can be quite abuse, controlling, and rude. Though she did have problems of her own, she did not know any limits. It was because of this that I've questioned about cutting her off.

During the summer before my junior year, I decided to cut her off after being unable to handle the negativity she brings. It had increasingly grown and I didn't know if I could help her anymore as it was affecting me. She didn't get the help she needed when we tried to and she wanted to. I felt really bad leaving her like that, but our friendship has grown toxic over the years. She knew what she was doing but didn't care. I helped her the best I could by providing comfort and advice.

Like I said, she was controlling as well. My entire friendship with her before cutting her off consisted of her trying to do what she didn't like. If I didn't listen to her she'd blame me and get angry. I would always apologize or make it up with her. So when I did cut her off, it did not go well. She talked behind my back online on an account I didn't know of. She tried to place the blame of our friendship on me. She tried to make me come back.

I stood firm and said no.

So throughout the entire year we were distant, however not as distant. This was because we had a project we've been working for an entire year together as a group, we had the same friend group, and same classes. I'm the type of person who's nice to anyone, friend or enemy. I didn't want her to misunderstand my kindness for another friendship. I still talked to her or hung around her though because of our friend group, classes, and project.

However recently, she hit me up to ask what our current relation is. If we're friends or not. I didn't know. She thinks we are and I told her I'd tell her when I thought it through.

I don't know if I should give her another chance, but I have done that too many times and it can be quite tiring. I don't know if I want to be involved with her again. I know how much our past friendship has hurt me and possibly her, but I don't know if it'll be worth it. The reason is she has changed a bit for the begger, but I still saw the same qualities that she had before returning.

What should I do about my current situation?

tl;dr - I cut off a close toxic friend of mine months back and she asked me what our relationship is. She thinks we're friends again, but I'm unsure knowing that the amount of chances I've given her before had gone to nothing. She has changed for the better in a way, but I still see the same person before inside of her. What should I do?

Submitted April 04, 2020 at 12:10AM

So I've been friends with her since we've started middle school. We've been through a lot and I've helped her many times. She's a great person at heart, but she can be quite abuse, controlling, and rude. Though she did have problems of her own, she did not know any limits. It was because of this that I've questioned about cutting her off.During the summer before my junior year, I decided to cut her off after being unable to handle the negativity she brings. It had increasingly grown and I didn't know if I could help her anymore as it was affecting me. She didn't get the help she needed when we tried to and she wanted to. I felt really bad leaving her like that, but our friendship has grown toxic over the years. She knew what she was doing but didn't care. I helped her the best I could by providing comfort and advice.Like I said, she was controlling as well. My entire friendship with her before cutting her off consisted of her trying to do what she didn't like. If I didn't listen to her she'd blame me and get angry. I would always apologize or make it up with her. So when I did cut her off, it did not go well. She talked behind my back online on an account I didn't know of. She tried to place the blame of our friendship on me. She tried to make me come back.I stood firm and said no.So throughout the entire year we were distant, however not as distant. This was because we had a project we've been working for an entire year together as a group, we had the same friend group, and same classes. I'm the type of person who's nice to anyone, friend or enemy. I didn't want her to misunderstand my kindness for another friendship. I still talked to her or hung around her though because of our friend group, classes, and project.However recently, she hit me up to ask what our current relation is. If we're friends or not. I didn't know. She thinks we are and I told her I'd tell her when I thought it through.I don't know if I should give her another chance, but I have done that too many times and it can be quite tiring. I don't know if I want to be involved with her again. I know how much our past friendship has hurt me and possibly her, but I don't know if it'll be worth it. The reason is she has changed a bit for the begger, but I still saw the same qualities that she had before returning.What should I do about my current situation?tl;dr - I cut off a close toxic friend of mine months back and she asked me what our relationship is. She thinks we're friends again, but I'm unsure knowing that the amount of chances I've given her before had gone to nothing. She has changed for the better in a way, but I still see the same person before inside of her. What should I do?