Quarantine problems or am I just trippin?! I'm a 24M and my lady friend is 22F

I am writing this because I have trouble overthinking a bit but also because need advice on a situation. I am 24 current girl I am with is my 3rd true love and I really think she is the one. We fell in love at college where we met.

Anyways, fast forward almost a year and we are dealing with COVID and quarantined at home. She is very mature for her age and has taught me many lessons when it comes to relationships and loyalty. So, I am scared of what I am hiding from her because I think she would break up and I would lose her. Basically, we aren't really exclusive officially in present time, now, cause we agreed on a decision while she was finishing her senior year at college because it was a lot of stress for her she just wanted to focus on graduating with good grades this year before the pandemic cancelled all her schooling. Keep in mind though we still talked everyday, was rare to not visit every weekend, and continuing to be intimate just not putting a label on it we are still pursuing.

With this quarantine, she is in her hometown now and I'm in mine laid off work. We couldn't take not seeing eachother so she visited me against her parents wishes. Couple weeks later randomly decided to login to her instagram when we were having a pointless argument and see her DMing with her ex who cheated on her years ago and she doesnt even follow, shuts him out at the beginning of our dating and always told me whenever he messaged her so it was a surprise. I literally guessed her instagram password and got it right its not like we have trust issues where we go through eachothers shit on the daily. I was very hurt by this though because she was talking to him and I came to her with it very upset.

Eventually, she spilled to me that she met him after visiting me in quarantine to pick up some adderall and just was a quick interaction in a car and I believe her because her schooling is very hard and she does use adderall as like stimulus to help get her work done sometimes and she was very apologetic even though I went through her stuff.

I think what happens next is my question of me overthinking or tornness. Her parents are very strict, and she has a young sister (19F) that they do not want either of them being exposed to the virus.

Anyways, we were thinking about trying to see eachother again but hard with her parents but I think after this she felt bad and literally risked getting in hella trouble basically with her sister to get picked up by her sisters boyfriend that I also know(21M) to come to my house and visit which is an hour way. Only her mother was somewhat okay with it, the father wasnt but they hide it. They stayed for about two days, and one night when we were drinking and near the fire the girls were inside and it was just me and my girlfriend's sister's boyfriend who I've known mutually for almost a year now too and is close since we share a love for the sisters. I randomly felt the need to tell him about private info about her talking to her ex and meeting to get adderall. I even stopped myself before saying I probably shouldn't say anything but did anyways. I just cant stop overthinking about it and feel guilty because feels like I vented about that and broke her trust & should of kept it to myself and forgave her.

He just responded with saying he already knew she takes adderall sometimes because his sister tells him but then also said dont worry about the ex too because he has heard about that history and how she would never get back with him because he cheated on her.

She is a really sweet girl and I just want to have her back and feel bad I didn't so overthinking but want to learn from this idk what to do or if she finds out somehow. I care about her a lot still gives me butterflies and goosebumps to this day just makes me mad I be so stupid to betray her like that cant deal with it had to get it off my chest if u read this long ur a real one !

Any Advice is appreciated

Submitted April 15, 2020 at 11:46PM

I am writing this because I have trouble overthinking a bit but also because need advice on a situation. I am 24 current girl I am with is my 3rd true love and I really think she is the one. We fell in love at college where we met.Anyways, fast forward almost a year and we are dealing with COVID and quarantined at home. She is very mature for her age and has taught me many lessons when it comes to relationships and loyalty. So, I am scared of what I am hiding from her because I think she would break up and I would lose her. Basically, we aren't really exclusive officially in present time, now, cause we agreed on a decision while she was finishing her senior year at college because it was a lot of stress for her she just wanted to focus on graduating with good grades this year before the pandemic cancelled all her schooling. Keep in mind though we still talked everyday, was rare to not visit every weekend, and continuing to be intimate just not putting a label on it we are still pursuing.With this quarantine, she is in her hometown now and I'm in mine laid off work. We couldn't take not seeing eachother so she visited me against her parents wishes. Couple weeks later randomly decided to login to her instagram when we were having a pointless argument and see her DMing with her ex who cheated on her years ago and she doesnt even follow, shuts him out at the beginning of our dating and always told me whenever he messaged her so it was a surprise. I literally guessed her instagram password and got it right its not like we have trust issues where we go through eachothers shit on the daily. I was very hurt by this though because she was talking to him and I came to her with it very upset.Eventually, she spilled to me that she met him after visiting me in quarantine to pick up some adderall and just was a quick interaction in a car and I believe her because her schooling is very hard and she does use adderall as like stimulus to help get her work done sometimes and she was very apologetic even though I went through her stuff.I think what happens next is my question of me overthinking or tornness. Her parents are very strict, and she has a young sister (19F) that they do not want either of them being exposed to the virus.Anyways, we were thinking about trying to see eachother again but hard with her parents but I think after this she felt bad and literally risked getting in hella trouble basically with her sister to get picked up by her sisters boyfriend that I also know(21M) to come to my house and visit which is an hour way. Only her mother was somewhat okay with it, the father wasnt but they hide it. They stayed for about two days, and one night when we were drinking and near the fire the girls were inside and it was just me and my girlfriend's sister's boyfriend who I've known mutually for almost a year now too and is close since we share a love for the sisters. I randomly felt the need to tell him about private info about her talking to her ex and meeting to get adderall. I even stopped myself before saying I probably shouldn't say anything but did anyways. I just cant stop overthinking about it and feel guilty because feels like I vented about that and broke her trust & should of kept it to myself and forgave her.He just responded with saying he already knew she takes adderall sometimes because his sister tells him but then also said dont worry about the ex too because he has heard about that history and how she would never get back with him because he cheated on her.She is a really sweet girl and I just want to have her back and feel bad I didn't so overthinking but want to learn from this idk what to do or if she finds out somehow. I care about her a lot still gives me butterflies and goosebumps to this day just makes me mad I be so stupid to betray her like that cant deal with it had to get it off my chest if u read this long ur a real one !Any Advice is appreciated