Need to vent about my husband possibly having high functioning asperger’s

This is sort of a vent post. I am just tired of being the mature one. He belittles our 3 year old and behaves like a dick. He will accidentally hurt her and make her cry and his response is “oh please” and then when I tell him to apologize he makes a stupid douchey face and says “Sowwy baby” in the most degrading way. He has little empathy for her or anyone. Back when she was barely walking he made no effort to ensure her safety. She was hitting her head and falling on her head whenever he was with her, an embarrasing number of times. He refused to address the issue at all! There are so many things he refuses to address because he doesn’t think they are problems. Things are better now that our daughter can take better care of herself but there are still days when I’m blown away at how messed up my husband is. I’ve made a post here about how he rarely helps out. But that’s just a part of a bigger problem. There’s a part of his brain that doesn’t understand the world as anything outside of himself. He thinks the world revolves around him and has a worldview that satisfies an inflated version of himself. I feel like my marriage is a joke most of the time and I’m stuck in this terrible game he’s playing where I am whoever he needs me to be so that he can get off on pretending he’s a confident man. The things he says are so narcissistic and he would be embarrassed to say them to anyone else. He told me once that he feels like a fraud and that he can tell me anything. Unfortunately that means he thinks he can also treat me the way he knows he’s not supposed to treat anyone. The way he thinks is so effed up that it makes me feel sick. Everytime he gets excited about anything he has to belittle me in the process as if part of his ability to gain confidence in anything involves putting me down. At this point it’s not even about me feeling bad. It’s just disgust that he hasn’t figured out his own problem.

He also has no ability to understand when I’m joking but he thinks he’s the most hilarious person alive. Sadly people actually find him funny but it’s more because he happens to be attractive and everyone laughs when an attractive person says anything remotely witty. His looks have gotten him through life and have turned him into a major douchebag. He insults everyone behind closed doors and then smiles at their faces. Why am I with this person you ask. I don’t know. I just need a place to vent. Maybe by some miracle he will read this and find his way into someone else’s perspective but tough luck for me. He will have no ability to understand any of it even when it’s laid down right on the table.

The truth is I married him because he duped me into it and our entire marriage is one dupe after another. It’s a constant battle to convince me he’s different and that he’s changing everyday. And then he lets his true self show. He says he can change. He acts like a normal human being for weeks and then the douche comes out of him. It’s just dying to breathe because that’s who he essentially is. I feel sorry for him that he’s so insecure. At least I know who he really is. I know more than he thinks. I know how small and weak he really is. I know all the ugliness he tries to hide inside and out. Everything he does is laughable to me.

Submitted April 11, 2020 at 12:02AM

This is sort of a vent post. I am just tired of being the mature one. He belittles our 3 year old and behaves like a dick. He will accidentally hurt her and make her cry and his response is “oh please” and then when I tell him to apologize he makes a stupid douchey face and says “Sowwy baby” in the most degrading way. He has little empathy for her or anyone. Back when she was barely walking he made no effort to ensure her safety. She was hitting her head and falling on her head whenever he was with her, an embarrasing number of times. He refused to address the issue at all! There are so many things he refuses to address because he doesn’t think they are problems. Things are better now that our daughter can take better care of herself but there are still days when I’m blown away at how messed up my husband is. I’ve made a post here about how he rarely helps out. But that’s just a part of a bigger problem. There’s a part of his brain that doesn’t understand the world as anything outside of himself. He thinks the world revolves around him and has a worldview that satisfies an inflated version of himself. I feel like my marriage is a joke most of the time and I’m stuck in this terrible game he’s playing where I am whoever he needs me to be so that he can get off on pretending he’s a confident man. The things he says are so narcissistic and he would be embarrassed to say them to anyone else. He told me once that he feels like a fraud and that he can tell me anything. Unfortunately that means he thinks he can also treat me the way he knows he’s not supposed to treat anyone. The way he thinks is so effed up that it makes me feel sick. Everytime he gets excited about anything he has to belittle me in the process as if part of his ability to gain confidence in anything involves putting me down. At this point it’s not even about me feeling bad. It’s just disgust that he hasn’t figured out his own problem.He also has no ability to understand when I’m joking but he thinks he’s the most hilarious person alive. Sadly people actually find him funny but it’s more because he happens to be attractive and everyone laughs when an attractive person says anything remotely witty. His looks have gotten him through life and have turned him into a major douchebag. He insults everyone behind closed doors and then smiles at their faces. Why am I with this person you ask. I don’t know. I just need a place to vent. Maybe by some miracle he will read this and find his way into someone else’s perspective but tough luck for me. He will have no ability to understand any of it even when it’s laid down right on the table.The truth is I married him because he duped me into it and our entire marriage is one dupe after another. It’s a constant battle to convince me he’s different and that he’s changing everyday. And then he lets his true self show. He says he can change. He acts like a normal human being for weeks and then the douche comes out of him. It’s just dying to breathe because that’s who he essentially is. I feel sorry for him that he’s so insecure. At least I know who he really is. I know more than he thinks. I know how small and weak he really is. I know all the ugliness he tries to hide inside and out. Everything he does is laughable to me.