my boyfriend(19) and i (female, 18) have had exceedingly difficult conflict within the differences in our love languages, we have been dating for ten months

my boyfriend’s number one love language is words of affirmation whereas mine is quality time. this would not be an issue if he truly understood/respected the difference within him and i as well as tried to make it known that it is something being worked on.

we both have significant mental health issues which may play some small role within this but the difference between him and i is that i have had years of therapy and medications. i am educated and well aware of my battles, he is not with mine nor his own.

i constantly feel either smothered or neglected, there is no in between. i don’t feel happy within this constant battle. i love him, but i don’t know how to feel loved by him.

i have tried explaining the difference between him and i on numerous occasions and it seems that he doesn’t truly get the significance of the struggle i face.

i would like to continue with this relationship but i simply do not know how to with such a lack of communication in the love language category.

TL;DR - i am consistently feeling unloved by my s/o due to the fact that we have such significantly different love languages and he doesn’t know how to show me what i need to feel reciprocation.



Submitted April 11, 2020 at 12:09AM

my boyfriend’s number one love language is words of affirmation whereas mine is quality time. this would not be an issue if he truly understood/respected the difference within him and i as well as tried to make it known that it is something being worked on.we both have significant mental health issues which may play some small role within this but the difference between him and i is that i have had years of therapy and medications. i am educated and well aware of my battles, he is not with mine nor his own.i constantly feel either smothered or neglected, there is no in between. i don’t feel happy within this constant battle. i love him, but i don’t know how to feel loved by him.i have tried explaining the difference between him and i on numerous occasions and it seems that he doesn’t truly get the significance of the struggle i face.i would like to continue with this relationship but i simply do not know how to with such a lack of communication in the love language category.TL;DR - i am consistently feeling unloved by my s/o due to the fact that we have such significantly different love languages and he doesn’t know how to show me what i need to feel reciprocation.
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