My sister(F 15) is acting up and Im(F 23) being asked to set her straight?

We are half siblings, and I was raised by another family member basically as an only child; I never had too much contact with my mom, sister and her father really growing up. The most I ever lived with my mom and her was about a month when I graduated highschool.

My mom is with someone else right now and they are telling me that my sister has been out hanging out late in the city with her friends for days on end at times, and also has been busted for pot recently. My mom said she tries to prevent her from leaving but she manages to leave anyway by sneaking out.

All of the adults seem to be at their wits end on what to do; and our other half siblings that are older than me aren't of any help either. Her father said that she doesnt have any good role models so I need to talk to her and set her straight. It doesnt help that he thinks im his daughter too; he doesnt know Im not. (Its complicated.)

I just have no idea how to go about talking to her; whenever I try to pry she gets uncomfortable and doesn't seem to see the reason why people are upset. Because we never really talked much to each other to begin with it's also just very awkward for me to just butt in and tell her what to do? I'd rather we start our relationship on some sort of normal footing and get into the habit of talking to each other first. I know she didnt have the most stable life to begin with; neither of her parents are particularly stable people.

Another issue is that my mom and her dad just are completely inconsistent with how they're parenting her. One just kind of gives up when she acts up and the other (who doesn't have custody) is more strict but cant really do anything about it (And even if he could he is very bad at discipling other than yelling). It also doesnt help that my mom will lie or cover for my sister to her father so she and my sister cant get yelled at. Like what?? My moms boyfriend is great at being strict and being reasonable but he cant get much involved without my sisters dad going ballistic.

They all do care alot about her I can tell; I just dont know how they could've all been this incompetent? Maybe thats too harsh; but I dont know how else to explain them believing her saying shes just going on a walk and not expect her to be out with friends DURING A PANDEMIC (whom they dont trust??)

I feel like her entire future is on my hands right now because no one else tried hard enough/willing to communicate with one another. I dont want her to slip through the cracks but I just feel way over my head. What really freaked me out today was my mom saying that she thinks shes showing traits of bipolor that she herself had when she was that age. She said she is going to put her back in therapy but that probably wont be for awhile...I honestly think I should just get other family members involved at this point. The rest of my family is quite normal and much much more strict; but I'd fear they would just treat her like a fuckup and be too strict on her.

TL;DR: My sister who Ive had very little contact with is not making good life decisions, her mother and father aren't doing too good at curbing her behavior and are asking for me to help because im the only somewhat stable child. I feel overwhelmed and that this is way over my head and honestly would rather just get to her know her more first before giving her an intervention??? What do I do???

Submitted April 10, 2020 at 11:53PM

We are half siblings, and I was raised by another family member basically as an only child; I never had too much contact with my mom, sister and her father really growing up. The most I ever lived with my mom and her was about a month when I graduated highschool.My mom is with someone else right now and they are telling me that my sister has been out hanging out late in the city with her friends for days on end at times, and also has been busted for pot recently. My mom said she tries to prevent her from leaving but she manages to leave anyway by sneaking out.All of the adults seem to be at their wits end on what to do; and our other half siblings that are older than me aren't of any help either. Her father said that she doesnt have any good role models so I need to talk to her and set her straight. It doesnt help that he thinks im his daughter too; he doesnt know Im not. (Its complicated.)I just have no idea how to go about talking to her; whenever I try to pry she gets uncomfortable and doesn't seem to see the reason why people are upset. Because we never really talked much to each other to begin with it's also just very awkward for me to just butt in and tell her what to do? I'd rather we start our relationship on some sort of normal footing and get into the habit of talking to each other first. I know she didnt have the most stable life to begin with; neither of her parents are particularly stable people.Another issue is that my mom and her dad just are completely inconsistent with how they're parenting her. One just kind of gives up when she acts up and the other (who doesn't have custody) is more strict but cant really do anything about it (And even if he could he is very bad at discipling other than yelling). It also doesnt help that my mom will lie or cover for my sister to her father so she and my sister cant get yelled at. Like what?? My moms boyfriend is great at being strict and being reasonable but he cant get much involved without my sisters dad going ballistic.They all do care alot about her I can tell; I just dont know how they could've all been this incompetent? Maybe thats too harsh; but I dont know how else to explain them believing her saying shes just going on a walk and not expect her to be out with friends DURING A PANDEMIC (whom they dont trust??)I feel like her entire future is on my hands right now because no one else tried hard enough/willing to communicate with one another. I dont want her to slip through the cracks but I just feel way over my head. What really freaked me out today was my mom saying that she thinks shes showing traits of bipolor that she herself had when she was that age. She said she is going to put her back in therapy but that probably wont be for awhile...I honestly think I should just get other family members involved at this point. The rest of my family is quite normal and much much more strict; but I'd fear they would just treat her like a fuckup and be too strict on her.TL;DR: My sister who Ive had very little contact with is not making good life decisions, her mother and father aren't doing too good at curbing her behavior and are asking for me to help because im the only somewhat stable child. I feel overwhelmed and that this is way over my head and honestly would rather just get to her know her more first before giving her an intervention??? What do I do???