I 23M, am struggling with processing

So I'm not sure if this is allowed here, so sorry if it isn't.

My [23F] ex-partner cheated on me multiple times and we ended some time ago. I believe that I am processing this well. However, due to this, I think I am a little damaged. (Hence the relevance)

Recently, I was talking to someone that was almost a fantasy woman. She is wonderful. Even though she was 4000 miles away. We were talking for a week about numerous different things, built a type of friendship/connection thingy. We were discussing meeting up and considering trying to turn a distant connection into a real thing.

Understandably, she decided this wasn't for her for many different reasons and I completely appreciate and respect her opinion.

Now I feel like I placed WAY too many eggs into this pipe dream. I never met this person so I clearly became very attached to this person and fabricated so many different ideas in my head of what it could have been. So now, I feel like I have lost something... Surely I shouldn't be hurting? Right?

I have no idea how I can create such idealistic attachments, yet I do.

So I am thinking I need to learn to be single.

Something isn't right in my mindset to be hurting this way. Surely?

Any advice is appreciated.

TL;DR: I clearly don't process things right, any advice?



Submitted March 29, 2020 at 12:08AM

So I'm not sure if this is allowed here, so sorry if it isn't.My [23F] ex-partner cheated on me multiple times and we ended some time ago. I believe that I am processing this well. However, due to this, I think I am a little damaged. (Hence the relevance)Recently, I was talking to someone that was almost a fantasy woman. She is wonderful. Even though she was 4000 miles away. We were talking for a week about numerous different things, built a type of friendship/connection thingy. We were discussing meeting up and considering trying to turn a distant connection into a real thing.Understandably, she decided this wasn't for her for many different reasons and I completely appreciate and respect her opinion.Now I feel like I placed WAY too many eggs into this pipe dream. I never met this person so I clearly became very attached to this person and fabricated so many different ideas in my head of what it could have been. So now, I feel like I have lost something... Surely I shouldn't be hurting? Right?I have no idea how I can create such idealistic attachments, yet I do.So I am thinking I need to learn to be single.Something isn't right in my mindset to be hurting this way. Surely?Any advice is appreciated.TL;DR: I clearly don't process things right, any advice?
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