I (25F) started dating my (26M) best friend and it's been really hard

This story is pretty wildly long but after reading this page for years, i thought it might be a great place to turn to.

a few months ago, i (25F) realized that i had always loved my best friend(25M). I accidentally told him how i felt while we were both in relationships and he rejected me. the time following that for me was a lot of longing and obsessing over being with him while also processing the loss of my ex. about a month after i let my feelings out, he broke up with his gf. ((both relationships ending were pretty separate from our relationship and had very valid reasonings))

a week ago that he has been in love with me since the first time he saw me when I was 18 and he was 19. he said it was one of those crazy "when you know, you know" moments. he dreamt about me that night and also wrote a song/ album about all of this longing.

he explained to me that he tried to connect our dots since the moment he saw me. spoiler alert, he did eventually find a way to meet me and we became BEST friends though and after college. it always felt like our paths oddly aligned and we grew in very similar ways. we felt very cosmically connected. he was my first call in a lot of very big moments and i was his. however, i was always in other relationships which kept things very platonic and never crossing a line.

we truly feel like soul mates. however, almost immediately after he told me he was in love with me we were both filled with so much fear/ anxiety. we both feel very in love but this week we have had non stop fights, misunderstanding and communication. it makes no sense because our previous relationship was very full of understanding etc. obviously things take a while to adjust but we've both been miserable. we've both expressed frustration of "can it really be this hard / feel this way to love the person we've always loved?"

does this make sense to anyone?? can you really love someone, only want to be with them and it not be right?? should we call it quits? it feels so hard to hurt and be hurt by your favorite person in the world.

​

TLDR: I recently started dating my best friend after we had both been in love with each other or a long time. the transition has been really hard with fighting and anxiety- is this a bad sign? normal?



Submitted January 28, 2020 at 12:02AM

This story is pretty wildly long but after reading this page for years, i thought it might be a great place to turn to.a few months ago, i (25F) realized that i had always loved my best friend(25M). I accidentally told him how i felt while we were both in relationships and he rejected me. the time following that for me was a lot of longing and obsessing over being with him while also processing the loss of my ex. about a month after i let my feelings out, he broke up with his gf. ((both relationships ending were pretty separate from our relationship and had very valid reasonings))a week ago that he has been in love with me since the first time he saw me when I was 18 and he was 19. he said it was one of those crazy "when you know, you know" moments. he dreamt about me that night and also wrote a song/ album about all of this longing.he explained to me that he tried to connect our dots since the moment he saw me. spoiler alert, he did eventually find a way to meet me and we became BEST friends though and after college. it always felt like our paths oddly aligned and we grew in very similar ways. we felt very cosmically connected. he was my first call in a lot of very big moments and i was his. however, i was always in other relationships which kept things very platonic and never crossing a line.we truly feel like soul mates. however, almost immediately after he told me he was in love with me we were both filled with so much fear/ anxiety. we both feel very in love but this week we have had non stop fights, misunderstanding and communication. it makes no sense because our previous relationship was very full of understanding etc. obviously things take a while to adjust but we've both been miserable. we've both expressed frustration of "can it really be this hard / feel this way to love the person we've always loved?"does this make sense to anyone?? can you really love someone, only want to be with them and it not be right?? should we call it quits? it feels so hard to hurt and be hurt by your favorite person in the world.​TLDR: I recently started dating my best friend after we had both been in love with each other or a long time. the transition has been really hard with fighting and anxiety- is this a bad sign? normal?
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