I [22F] am so angry with my parents [52F] [57M] for how differently they treat my sister [16F] compared to me

I’m 22, senior in college and live at home with my parents and sister. I commute to college so I’m still living at home. (No I can’t afford to live on campus). There is a running theme here that I have so much anger towards my parents for how they raised and parented me compared to now with my sister. Although I am super angry, I am extremely close to my mom we are best friends despite this issue.

Yes, I know the second child has it easier. I know they typically are parented more leniently. But it’s so much more than that. It’s not something simple like my sister got a cell phone younger than I did, no. It’s how they parent us. When I was in high school, I really struggled with depression and I missed a lot of school. I cut class a lot, etc. I was constantly punished. In middle school I cut my gym class because I was overweight and so anxious depressed but my parents grounded me for 3 months for cutting class, also took away my cell phone. Compared to my sister, who is failing majority of her classes, even failing gym. (Which she has no reason to as she’s a athlete who shouldn’t be failing gym. She likes gym she just cuts tons of classes.).

My grades started to slip and every report card I would get a talking to from my parents and they would be so mad at me. Yet my sister fails every class and they never even speak of her report card. She’s never been in trouble for grades, she’s never had her phone taken away. She does what she wants, when she wants it. My mom picks my sister up from school pretty much every single day at 12 o clock so she can go home. Even though she has class until 2:30. Sometimes my sister claims to be sick and other times it’s for no reason. Even though she comes home at noon, my mom still allows her to hangout with friends, go out, go to her sport practice. There are no consequences for anything.

It’s so frustrating to see this all happen. I see how she gets away with so much and is so disrespectful, but gets whatever she wants. Everyday at dinner we clear the plates and do the dishes. My sister puts her dish in the sink and goes up to her room. I help almost every single night. But if one night I don’t do something, I get yelled at. When my sister is upstairs hanging out in her room.

Today, I was supposed to go to Costco with my mom and when she came to pick me up I saw my sister in the car and got so mad (it was noon, when she should’ve been in school). I really wanted to hangout with my mom alone but also they were then talking about her sport plans for the evening that she still got to go to. It turned into this huge fight.

When my dad got home and asked what happened my mom completely missed the point even though I told her the problem and why I was so upset (as I’ve told her a thousand times). She told my dad that I was upset that she doesn’t yell at my sister in the mornings to get up for school like I did. Yes that upsets me but that’s literally not the problem. The problem is how blatantly different I am treated by my mom. The problem is she gets picked up at noon every single day and has no consequences for anything. I’m so frustrated. And it’s not as easy to just “ignore” it.

Its so frustrating. I have so much pent up anger. And YES I tell my parents this all the time.

Tl;dr parents treat my sister and I so differently and it causes me so much anger.

Submitted January 15, 2020 at 11:48PM

I’m 22, senior in college and live at home with my parents and sister. I commute to college so I’m still living at home. (No I can’t afford to live on campus). There is a running theme here that I have so much anger towards my parents for how they raised and parented me compared to now with my sister. Although I am super angry, I am extremely close to my mom we are best friends despite this issue.Yes, I know the second child has it easier. I know they typically are parented more leniently. But it’s so much more than that. It’s not something simple like my sister got a cell phone younger than I did, no. It’s how they parent us. When I was in high school, I really struggled with depression and I missed a lot of school. I cut class a lot, etc. I was constantly punished. In middle school I cut my gym class because I was overweight and so anxious depressed but my parents grounded me for 3 months for cutting class, also took away my cell phone. Compared to my sister, who is failing majority of her classes, even failing gym. (Which she has no reason to as she’s a athlete who shouldn’t be failing gym. She likes gym she just cuts tons of classes.).My grades started to slip and every report card I would get a talking to from my parents and they would be so mad at me. Yet my sister fails every class and they never even speak of her report card. She’s never been in trouble for grades, she’s never had her phone taken away. She does what she wants, when she wants it. My mom picks my sister up from school pretty much every single day at 12 o clock so she can go home. Even though she has class until 2:30. Sometimes my sister claims to be sick and other times it’s for no reason. Even though she comes home at noon, my mom still allows her to hangout with friends, go out, go to her sport practice. There are no consequences for anything.It’s so frustrating to see this all happen. I see how she gets away with so much and is so disrespectful, but gets whatever she wants. Everyday at dinner we clear the plates and do the dishes. My sister puts her dish in the sink and goes up to her room. I help almost every single night. But if one night I don’t do something, I get yelled at. When my sister is upstairs hanging out in her room.Today, I was supposed to go to Costco with my mom and when she came to pick me up I saw my sister in the car and got so mad (it was noon, when she should’ve been in school). I really wanted to hangout with my mom alone but also they were then talking about her sport plans for the evening that she still got to go to. It turned into this huge fight.When my dad got home and asked what happened my mom completely missed the point even though I told her the problem and why I was so upset (as I’ve told her a thousand times). She told my dad that I was upset that she doesn’t yell at my sister in the mornings to get up for school like I did. Yes that upsets me but that’s literally not the problem. The problem is how blatantly different I am treated by my mom. The problem is she gets picked up at noon every single day and has no consequences for anything. I’m so frustrated. And it’s not as easy to just “ignore” it.Its so frustrating. I have so much pent up anger. And YES I tell my parents this all the time.Tl;dr parents treat my sister and I so differently and it causes me so much anger.