How To Let Her Down Nicely/Easily? (18M)

So yea, I'm in a bit of a pickle.

Let me just start by saying that I've only dated once before this, but I don't really count it as a relationship because of how one sided it was, so this was my first actual try at, well, trying a relationship with someone.

Basically long story short, we met on this dating app after I had tried for a long while to meet someone in my area with the same ethics/values as me and someone somewhat attractive at the same time - no success there, so I somewhat foolishly set my standards lower and allowed the app to show me literally anyone in the US, not just in my state.

So I found her (18F, proven), and she was almost exactly like me in terms of values and what not, the only problem was that 1. She was super far away from me and 2. I didn't even get to see how she looked until after we started talking a bit that day (and from what I saw, she was admittedly only alright at best). However I thought I would still give it a try to see if it could work.

So now its been almost a full month and I'm really not seeing this work out at all. Her parents are super overprotective, so I can barely ever call her or even just play games with her, obviously she's far away so I can't really get the physical aspect I like (and no, I'm not talking about sex at all), and also after talking I realized that we only partially relate and that, really, she isn't super attractive to me. I foolishly thought I could make this work, but after thinking for a while, I realized I can't which really sucks, and I wanna solve this problem sooner rather than later.

Another thing though is that she actually is a super cool person, and she's already gone as far as time say that out of all the people in her life, she trusts me the most now. I somewhat trust her as well, but I really just don't know what to do. I don't want to be mean to her at all, but I do want to convey how I don't think this will work. Like I think I could still be friends with her but that's about it. I've never, EVER had this experience before and I would really appreciate some guidance here.

Sorry in advance if this seems dumb to you, I know, I probably shouldn't have done this. But I really want to deal with it now, so yea. Please help.

And if you need more details to help, just ask



Submitted January 21, 2020 at 12:06AM

So yea, I'm in a bit of a pickle.Let me just start by saying that I've only dated once before this, but I don't really count it as a relationship because of how one sided it was, so this was my first actual try at, well, trying a relationship with someone.Basically long story short, we met on this dating app after I had tried for a long while to meet someone in my area with the same ethics/values as me and someone somewhat attractive at the same time - no success there, so I somewhat foolishly set my standards lower and allowed the app to show me literally anyone in the US, not just in my state.So I found her (18F, proven), and she was almost exactly like me in terms of values and what not, the only problem was that 1. She was super far away from me and 2. I didn't even get to see how she looked until after we started talking a bit that day (and from what I saw, she was admittedly only alright at best). However I thought I would still give it a try to see if it could work.So now its been almost a full month and I'm really not seeing this work out at all. Her parents are super overprotective, so I can barely ever call her or even just play games with her, obviously she's far away so I can't really get the physical aspect I like (and no, I'm not talking about sex at all), and also after talking I realized that we only partially relate and that, really, she isn't super attractive to me. I foolishly thought I could make this work, but after thinking for a while, I realized I can't which really sucks, and I wanna solve this problem sooner rather than later.Another thing though is that she actually is a super cool person, and she's already gone as far as time say that out of all the people in her life, she trusts me the most now. I somewhat trust her as well, but I really just don't know what to do. I don't want to be mean to her at all, but I do want to convey how I don't think this will work. Like I think I could still be friends with her but that's about it. I've never, EVER had this experience before and I would really appreciate some guidance here.Sorry in advance if this seems dumb to you, I know, I probably shouldn't have done this. But I really want to deal with it now, so yea. Please help.And if you need more details to help, just ask
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