How do I (f21) deal with losing my first love? (m23)

I have to break things off with him. I have to. I will do it in person because he does mean something to me. But I just can't keep doing this. He is toxic and has been manipulating me. I just truly feel like I don't deserve what he puts me through.

But he is my first love. So whenever I want to say goodbye, I can't do it. It just sucks getting it wrong. It sucks holding onto something just because you're hoping it will change. It sucks being wrong about someone.

I just need to know that there is something after him. Like I know it's going to hurt me so badly, I'm hoping I don't hurt myself trying to cope. I just feel so scared about ending things because I don't know what's on the other side.

Please help me.

TL;DR- How do cope after I've lost him?



Submitted January 22, 2020 at 12:33AM

I have to break things off with him. I have to. I will do it in person because he does mean something to me. But I just can't keep doing this. He is toxic and has been manipulating me. I just truly feel like I don't deserve what he puts me through.But he is my first love. So whenever I want to say goodbye, I can't do it. It just sucks getting it wrong. It sucks holding onto something just because you're hoping it will change. It sucks being wrong about someone.I just need to know that there is something after him. Like I know it's going to hurt me so badly, I'm hoping I don't hurt myself trying to cope. I just feel so scared about ending things because I don't know what's on the other side.Please help me.TL;DR- How do cope after I've lost him?
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