Decided to be more transparent with my dates and the results have been pleasantly surprising

I’ve been told by a former date that I’m very difficult to read and it causes ambiguity and anxiety. Since honesty is kind, and I’m trying to date more intentionally, I’ve decided to be more transparent. In the past two days, I have 1) gently let go of four guys who were eagerly texting me but I wasn’t that interested in, 2) learned why a former (very hot and persistent) date suddenly stopped pursuing, and 3) put myself out on a limb to see if a guy I was crushing on wanted another date. In all three cases, I’ve gotten very positive feedback! One said that I’m very kind for being honest and not ghosting. Another said he thinks I’m incredibly mature and solid for communicating directly yet gently that he respects me more. The last one friendzoned me, but I’m grateful for his friendship and I do think we could become good friends. It feels so freeing to be rid of the ambiguity, and I’m on good terms with everyone in spite of our sticky situations.

Lesson learned guys: be brave, honest, and kind. Clear and gentle communication is always a win-win. Like Seneca said “We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.” Stop making assumptions and just ask.



Submitted January 22, 2020 at 12:21AM

I’ve been told by a former date that I’m very difficult to read and it causes ambiguity and anxiety. Since honesty is kind, and I’m trying to date more intentionally, I’ve decided to be more transparent. In the past two days, I have 1) gently let go of four guys who were eagerly texting me but I wasn’t that interested in, 2) learned why a former (very hot and persistent) date suddenly stopped pursuing, and 3) put myself out on a limb to see if a guy I was crushing on wanted another date. In all three cases, I’ve gotten very positive feedback! One said that I’m very kind for being honest and not ghosting. Another said he thinks I’m incredibly mature and solid for communicating directly yet gently that he respects me more. The last one friendzoned me, but I’m grateful for his friendship and I do think we could become good friends. It feels so freeing to be rid of the ambiguity, and I’m on good terms with everyone in spite of our sticky situations.Lesson learned guys: be brave, honest, and kind. Clear and gentle communication is always a win-win. Like Seneca said “We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.” Stop making assumptions and just ask.
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