Afraid of repeating parents relationship

So this is something I’ve become aware of and is adding additional fear when dating. I love my parents, but I’m aware their relationship isn’t healthy. I don’t want to go into detail, but I realised the afterwards that last guy I was seeing had a lot of similar traits to my father. I also noticed I expressed similar behaviour to my mother and it scared the hell out of me. I really want a healthy partnership but I’m afraid I’m not attracted to people who don’t remind me of these negative dynamics. So I’m doomed to repeat them. I’ve tried to speak to a professional about these concerns and she brushed them away; saying as long as I’m aware of them I will be fine. Has anyone successfully broken this cycle? How can I influence who I’m attracted to?



Submitted January 22, 2020 at 12:01AM

So this is something I’ve become aware of and is adding additional fear when dating. I love my parents, but I’m aware their relationship isn’t healthy. I don’t want to go into detail, but I realised the afterwards that last guy I was seeing had a lot of similar traits to my father. I also noticed I expressed similar behaviour to my mother and it scared the hell out of me. I really want a healthy partnership but I’m afraid I’m not attracted to people who don’t remind me of these negative dynamics. So I’m doomed to repeat them. I’ve tried to speak to a professional about these concerns and she brushed them away; saying as long as I’m aware of them I will be fine. Has anyone successfully broken this cycle? How can I influence who I’m attracted to?
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