My (f25) partners (m27) father (m55) asked for both of us to meet him to apologize after saying nasty and mean comments on Christmas Day.

Me and Nick have been together for 6 years, not living together but I’d say we’re a very strong couple despite some small issues here and there.

His parents are very religious, his dad an Anglican Bishop and mother a Chaplin. Christmas is a big deal for the entire family but sadly it has been tainted by my partner’s dad, Mark.

Alcohol could’ve been a factor in his attitude but overall, during my visits with their family on Christmas Eve/Day, it has been jabbing/snarky comments left and right.

Mark would comment on his wife’s baking and cooking. They had a small argument before taking the cake out of the oven and he would say stuff like “it tastes bitter... if we didn’t have that fight, it wouldn’t leave a bitter taste in my mouth”

Other things he’s said like commenting and asking how much I make at work, criticizing the free Community Christmas Dinner I volunteer at and overall being an rude during board games with the family.

After realizing everyone was upset after his comments he said: I’m sorry for the things I say and do, I can’t help being like this And then he went upstairs to bed.

We all sat at the dinner table, poor Nick and his mother crying and wondering why he would be so nasty on Christmas Day. I supported the both of them best I could.

Mark came down and attempted another lazy apology and Nick finally put his foot down at the end of the night calling him out on his shallow apology and addressed his behaviour the past few days. In which, Mark left to go back to bed.

Today I receive two text message apologies and the last one was to meet in person with all 4 of us to talk?

Basically mark wants us to tell him all the bad things he’s done and how he can do better. I feel like he isn’t taking the time to really reflect on what he’s said and done, and just wants us to tell him what to fix.

Anyways, since it’s not my direct family and they want to include me in this, how can I best attend or contribute to this?

We will be sitting down and talking with Nick’s parents to discuss what hurt us and what can be done here on out.

Tldr: Nick’s dad is an ass, said some mean things and gave some shallow apologies. Wants to sit down with family to be forgiven but his apologies seem shallow. How can I proceed being not directly part of this family?



Submitted December 27, 2019 at 12:19AM

Me and Nick have been together for 6 years, not living together but I’d say we’re a very strong couple despite some small issues here and there.His parents are very religious, his dad an Anglican Bishop and mother a Chaplin. Christmas is a big deal for the entire family but sadly it has been tainted by my partner’s dad, Mark.Alcohol could’ve been a factor in his attitude but overall, during my visits with their family on Christmas Eve/Day, it has been jabbing/snarky comments left and right.Mark would comment on his wife’s baking and cooking. They had a small argument before taking the cake out of the oven and he would say stuff like “it tastes bitter... if we didn’t have that fight, it wouldn’t leave a bitter taste in my mouth”Other things he’s said like commenting and asking how much I make at work, criticizing the free Community Christmas Dinner I volunteer at and overall being an rude during board games with the family.After realizing everyone was upset after his comments he said: I’m sorry for the things I say and do, I can’t help being like this And then he went upstairs to bed.We all sat at the dinner table, poor Nick and his mother crying and wondering why he would be so nasty on Christmas Day. I supported the both of them best I could.Mark came down and attempted another lazy apology and Nick finally put his foot down at the end of the night calling him out on his shallow apology and addressed his behaviour the past few days. In which, Mark left to go back to bed.Today I receive two text message apologies and the last one was to meet in person with all 4 of us to talk?Basically mark wants us to tell him all the bad things he’s done and how he can do better. I feel like he isn’t taking the time to really reflect on what he’s said and done, and just wants us to tell him what to fix.Anyways, since it’s not my direct family and they want to include me in this, how can I best attend or contribute to this?We will be sitting down and talking with Nick’s parents to discuss what hurt us and what can be done here on out.Tldr: Nick’s dad is an ass, said some mean things and gave some shallow apologies. Wants to sit down with family to be forgiven but his apologies seem shallow. How can I proceed being not directly part of this family?
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