My (f25) partners (m27) father (m55) asked for both of us to meet him to apologize after saying nasty and mean comments on Christmas Day.

Me and Nick have been together for 6 years, not living together but I’d say we’re a very strong couple despite some small issues here and there.

His parents are very religious, his dad an Anglican Bishop and mother a Chaplin. Christmas is a big deal for the entire family but sadly it has been tainted by my partner’s dad, Mark.

Alcohol could’ve been a factor in his attitude but overall, during my visits with their family on Christmas Eve/Day, it has been jabbing/snarky comments left and right.

Mark would comment on his wife’s baking and cooking. They had a small argument before taking the cake out of the oven and he would say stuff like “it tastes bitter... if we didn’t have that fight, it wouldn’t leave a bitter taste in my mouth”

Other things he’s said like commenting and asking how much I make at work, criticizing the free Community Christmas Dinner I volunteer at and overall being an rude during board games with the family.

After realizing everyone was upset after his comments he said: I’m sorry for the things I say and do, I can’t help being like this And then he went upstairs to bed.

We all sat at the dinner table, poor Nick and his mother crying and wondering why he would be so nasty on Christmas Day. I supported the both of them best I could.

Mark came down and attempted another lazy apology and Nick finally put his foot down at the end of the night calling him out on his shallow apology and addressed his behaviour the past few days. In which, Mark left to go back to bed.

Today I receive two text message apologies and the last one was to meet in person with all 4 of us to talk?

Basically mark wants us to tell him all the bad things he’s done and how he can do better. I feel like he isn’t taking the time to really reflect on what he’s said and done, and just wants us to tell him what to fix.

Anyways, since it’s not my direct family and they want to include me in this, how can I best attend or contribute to this?

We will be sitting down and talking with Nick’s parents to discuss what hurt us and what can be done here on out.

Tldr: Nick’s dad is an ass, said some mean things and gave some shallow apologies. Wants to sit down with family to be forgiven but his apologies seem shallow. How can I proceed being not directly part of this family?



Submitted December 27, 2019 at 12:19AM

Me and Nick have been together for 6 years, not living together but I’d say we’re a very strong couple despite some small issues here and there.His parents are very religious, his dad an Anglican Bishop and mother a Chaplin. Christmas is a big deal for the entire family but sadly it has been tainted by my partner’s dad, Mark.Alcohol could’ve been a factor in his attitude but overall, during my visits with their family on Christmas Eve/Day, it has been jabbing/snarky comments left and right.Mark would comment on his wife’s baking and cooking. They had a small argument before taking the cake out of the oven and he would say stuff like “it tastes bitter... if we didn’t have that fight, it wouldn’t leave a bitter taste in my mouth”Other things he’s said like commenting and asking how much I make at work, criticizing the free Community Christmas Dinner I volunteer at and overall being an rude during board games with the family.After realizing everyone was upset after his comments he said: I’m sorry for the things I say and do, I can’t help being like this And then he went upstairs to bed.We all sat at the dinner table, poor Nick and his mother crying and wondering why he would be so nasty on Christmas Day. I supported the both of them best I could.Mark came down and attempted another lazy apology and Nick finally put his foot down at the end of the night calling him out on his shallow apology and addressed his behaviour the past few days. In which, Mark left to go back to bed.Today I receive two text message apologies and the last one was to meet in person with all 4 of us to talk?Basically mark wants us to tell him all the bad things he’s done and how he can do better. I feel like he isn’t taking the time to really reflect on what he’s said and done, and just wants us to tell him what to fix.Anyways, since it’s not my direct family and they want to include me in this, how can I best attend or contribute to this?We will be sitting down and talking with Nick’s parents to discuss what hurt us and what can be done here on out.Tldr: Nick’s dad is an ass, said some mean things and gave some shallow apologies. Wants to sit down with family to be forgiven but his apologies seem shallow. How can I proceed being not directly part of this family?
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Add Comments, Posts, Links... etc.

Popular posts from this blog

The difference between being right and being understood

My boyfriend and I are 28. We’ve been together for about 1.5 years and recently moved in together. He’s a pretty patient and easygoing person (Type B) whereas I’m more particular (Type A). Of course there are two sides to every trait, and my Type A nature benefits us in some ways too. Like all couples, we have differences in perspective or preference. When this happens, he will usually say something like “I disagree (with your perspective) but fine.” I tend to push the issue in an attempt to get him to understand where I’m coming from. This escalates the disagreement into a fight because he perceives it as me trying to be “right”. I truly just want to be understood (and I want to understand where he’s coming from) so I’m looking for more of a dialogue whereas he avoids conflict and just wants it to be over as quickly as possible. His general approach is “agree to disagree” but that doesn’t make sense to me when it’s an issue that will keep coming up and requires compromise. I’m n...
Read more

My (27f) gf (27f) is getting tired of me not sharing intimate/ personal info about me

I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love with her, however I can not seem to open up... and I can tell it’s frustrating to her by the way she tells me it bothers her that she feels she’s the only one committed and the one that’s always sharing... At this point I don’t even know if it is that I’ve gotten too used to it, to the point I’ve became lazy to talk about myself or give any genuine personal opinion... it sucks, really, I need to communicate better... Where do I start? Tl;dr: I can’t be completely intimate with my gf and its frustrating her, I need to communicate better because I really love her... where to start? Submitted April 25, 2019 at 06:02AM I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love ...
Read more

My (23M) girlfriend (25F) relationship is confusing to me. I might be the problem, or maybe we are just incompatible.

I met my girlfriend after a few serious breakups that led me to change both intentionally and unintentionally over a few years. For better and for worse. She had just gotten out of an engagement with a verbally and physically abusive man who had a cocaine problem. We have been together about 8 months now. We hit it off and spent a lot of time together but she began to push our relationship as if there were a time clock for milestones. I was pressed beyond my comfort zone and went with it because of my affection for her. My living situation fell apart and I lost a few thousand dollars to shit roommates right around the time she and I met and she offered to let me stay with her. I agreed with some resistance. I pay for food, help her with bills, and throw money toward rent while trying to get back on my feet. As long as we have been together she has gotten more possessive, angry, and irrational. She is dealing with shit from her engagement and I feel shes looking for a level of seriou...
Read more