Do you pursue the woman who plans to marry a rich man?

Girl at work, yada yada, same story a thousand times over. Anyway I like her. She's probably the smartest girl I've ever had any kind of a bond with, and I really enjoy making her laugh and spending time with her. I tend to become intensely passionate really quickly and then I get angry and resentful when I don't get my way. I'm trying hard to allow this relationship to develop naturally into whatever it may become. I don't want to put expectations on her or what our relationship should be.

She's a single mom and a hard worker. Typical superhero. It's amazing to see her gracefully master all the challenges she faces. But she is fallible (theoretically), as we all are. What drives her is still mysterious to me, and I've become intimidated by what I've begun to suspect it could be.

She's mentioned finding a rich husband a couple of times now. A doctor or a lawyer. It's a classic tale. At this point I've become perturbed by it. I guess it's a big insecurity of mine. But I don't think it's necessarily my ability or lack thereof to provide for her financially, but more to the point of just how materialistic she may be. She doesn't seem very materialistic, but it's hard to really get a good judge of character on that note without knowing them for a lifetime.

Wanting the finer things in life is fine, but it opposes what I feel is necessary for my sense of fulfillment. I'm much more inclined to the beggar's bowl school of life. I appreciate more value in things by giving them up, and I experience powerful growth when I overcome my resistance to let go of my idea of possession.

Anyway, having a woman isn't something I can really do by those principles. It's a different set of dimensions for the whole concept of romance and courtship. Nearly as detrimental if not more problematic is needing to save her from something, worst of all herself.

I'm going with my gut on this right now and playing back, sleeping on it, forgetting about it. Time will give me a refreshed perspective and maybe correct my course.

But I gotta ask you, what would you do? Do you try to look past it? Or do you take it to heart? Is it a red flag? Or am I overreacting?

Submitted December 26, 2019 at 11:49PM

Girl at work, yada yada, same story a thousand times over. Anyway I like her. She's probably the smartest girl I've ever had any kind of a bond with, and I really enjoy making her laugh and spending time with her. I tend to become intensely passionate really quickly and then I get angry and resentful when I don't get my way. I'm trying hard to allow this relationship to develop naturally into whatever it may become. I don't want to put expectations on her or what our relationship should be.She's a single mom and a hard worker. Typical superhero. It's amazing to see her gracefully master all the challenges she faces. But she is fallible (theoretically), as we all are. What drives her is still mysterious to me, and I've become intimidated by what I've begun to suspect it could be.She's mentioned finding a rich husband a couple of times now. A doctor or a lawyer. It's a classic tale. At this point I've become perturbed by it. I guess it's a big insecurity of mine. But I don't think it's necessarily my ability or lack thereof to provide for her financially, but more to the point of just how materialistic she may be. She doesn't seem very materialistic, but it's hard to really get a good judge of character on that note without knowing them for a lifetime.Wanting the finer things in life is fine, but it opposes what I feel is necessary for my sense of fulfillment. I'm much more inclined to the beggar's bowl school of life. I appreciate more value in things by giving them up, and I experience powerful growth when I overcome my resistance to let go of my idea of possession.Anyway, having a woman isn't something I can really do by those principles. It's a different set of dimensions for the whole concept of romance and courtship. Nearly as detrimental if not more problematic is needing to save her from something, worst of all herself.I'm going with my gut on this right now and playing back, sleeping on it, forgetting about it. Time will give me a refreshed perspective and maybe correct my course.But I gotta ask you, what would you do? Do you try to look past it? Or do you take it to heart? Is it a red flag? Or am I overreacting?