I F26 just realised that my ex M26 of 3.5 years dumped me because I got fat, is this normal?

Together 3.5 wonderful years. I gave him my heart and soul, supported him through everything. I was his rock.

He dumped me out of nowhere a month ago, after a month of being really distant and no affection and rejecting all my advances. He's already moved on so quickly and I just don't get it. It's so at odds with the man I thought he was. I'm so confused and shocked still. I'm depressed and devasted, how real love go away like that.

However today I was deleting him off my social media, because it hurts so much to see happier times right now. And I realised when I was loooking back and remembering without rose tinted glasses, that his love and affection for me directly declined, with my weight increase.

When studying for my masters degree last year I gained 30lbs. Before this we'd been in a relationship for 2 years and I didn't change physically. I was really popular with guys in my college and dated loads of them when I was single,but any 'good' looks I had definitely went away when in gained weight. My face and body just look drastically different with weight on. I'm not exaggerating. Around the time I gained weight he also suddenly started oggling and staring at every attractive girl we crossed paths with, it would be really obvious and embarrassing, friends acquaintances and strangers, it was so obvious and so upsetting. He would also look up girls on my social media, especially one of his exs who's really attractive and never changed since they broke up. I was so upset about all of this but he told me I was crazy and it didn't mean anything. I can see now that was a lie.

But is it normal for someone to stop loving you, in a relationship you both thought was for life, just because you gained some weight?

How can I actually rebuild me self confidence? I've already started working on my body and it's going to be back to the way it was in no time because I know what to do but the mental health aspect of this is going to mess me up forever. Are my looks all that matter to men? I thought he saw the real me. What if I get pregnant in my next serious relationship and gain weight will he leave me too? What about when I'm 50 and saggy will my husband have an affair with a young attractive woman? I'm struggling with this a lot.

TL;DR: gained 30lbs and my BF slowly became more distant until he finally dumped me. My revenge body is already happening but I don't think I'll ever heal emotionally because I truly love this man. My self confidence is so low. I thought real love means they see the person that you are. How will I get over this? How can I trust a guy again? I'm so sad. If I get a revenge body will he be jealous? Will he regret his decision to dump me if I look the way I used to again? Should I post about my new figure on social media to make him jealous? It's not really my style but I want him to hurt like I do.



Submitted December 10, 2019 at 12:21AM

Together 3.5 wonderful years. I gave him my heart and soul, supported him through everything. I was his rock.He dumped me out of nowhere a month ago, after a month of being really distant and no affection and rejecting all my advances. He's already moved on so quickly and I just don't get it. It's so at odds with the man I thought he was. I'm so confused and shocked still. I'm depressed and devasted, how real love go away like that.However today I was deleting him off my social media, because it hurts so much to see happier times right now. And I realised when I was loooking back and remembering without rose tinted glasses, that his love and affection for me directly declined, with my weight increase.When studying for my masters degree last year I gained 30lbs. Before this we'd been in a relationship for 2 years and I didn't change physically. I was really popular with guys in my college and dated loads of them when I was single,but any 'good' looks I had definitely went away when in gained weight. My face and body just look drastically different with weight on. I'm not exaggerating. Around the time I gained weight he also suddenly started oggling and staring at every attractive girl we crossed paths with, it would be really obvious and embarrassing, friends acquaintances and strangers, it was so obvious and so upsetting. He would also look up girls on my social media, especially one of his exs who's really attractive and never changed since they broke up. I was so upset about all of this but he told me I was crazy and it didn't mean anything. I can see now that was a lie.But is it normal for someone to stop loving you, in a relationship you both thought was for life, just because you gained some weight?How can I actually rebuild me self confidence? I've already started working on my body and it's going to be back to the way it was in no time because I know what to do but the mental health aspect of this is going to mess me up forever. Are my looks all that matter to men? I thought he saw the real me. What if I get pregnant in my next serious relationship and gain weight will he leave me too? What about when I'm 50 and saggy will my husband have an affair with a young attractive woman? I'm struggling with this a lot.TL;DR: gained 30lbs and my BF slowly became more distant until he finally dumped me. My revenge body is already happening but I don't think I'll ever heal emotionally because I truly love this man. My self confidence is so low. I thought real love means they see the person that you are. How will I get over this? How can I trust a guy again? I'm so sad. If I get a revenge body will he be jealous? Will he regret his decision to dump me if I look the way I used to again? Should I post about my new figure on social media to make him jealous? It's not really my style but I want him to hurt like I do.
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