Can you grow from friends to relationship if one of you moved faster than the other?

Here’s the break down: (TLDR at the bottom)

About five months ago, I became friends with benefits with a guy who had just gotten out of a relationship. As it usually goes with fwb, I developed feelings for him. He claimed to have feelings for me as well. He moved away from our mutual city in month two, and I moved away in month four. All during this time, we continued to talk, but also went on dates with other people. Despite that, my feelings stayed the same and even got stronger, while his faded. We saw each other for a week before I moved and at the end of the week, we decided to stop being friends and put a no contact rule in place because I was getting too hurt by the situation.

Two weeks later after no contact, I messaged him about how upset I was by all the ways he led me on. I just wanted to get it off my chest. He responded telling me how much he had missed me, how bad he felt, how he wanted to reach out and apologize, blah blah. We chatted for a bit and he told me he thinks he’d like to try and work things out with me so that we could be together. We took a week to think about it and after a few long, tearful phone calls, we decided to move forward very slowly.

Fast forward four days, I asked him how he was feeling and where his head was at. He said that he was anxious because he has only had friendly, platonic feelings for me. Since deciding to try us out, he is still trying to figure out if romantic feelings are going to develop.

SO

Is it possible for the romantic feelings from three months ago to redevelop?

Does it matter that I am already further along than him and he knows it?

Am I being a total fucking idiot by agreeing to try this out with him?

—————————————————-

TLDR: I fell for my FWB. We stopped talking and then started up again because he wants to try working out a relationship. He is concerned he won’t be able to develop romantic feelings for me since they have only been friendly, platonic from the start. Can he develop them, even if I am already past that? Am I being dumb?



Submitted October 19, 2019 at 12:04AM

Here’s the break down: (TLDR at the bottom)About five months ago, I became friends with benefits with a guy who had just gotten out of a relationship. As it usually goes with fwb, I developed feelings for him. He claimed to have feelings for me as well. He moved away from our mutual city in month two, and I moved away in month four. All during this time, we continued to talk, but also went on dates with other people. Despite that, my feelings stayed the same and even got stronger, while his faded. We saw each other for a week before I moved and at the end of the week, we decided to stop being friends and put a no contact rule in place because I was getting too hurt by the situation.Two weeks later after no contact, I messaged him about how upset I was by all the ways he led me on. I just wanted to get it off my chest. He responded telling me how much he had missed me, how bad he felt, how he wanted to reach out and apologize, blah blah. We chatted for a bit and he told me he thinks he’d like to try and work things out with me so that we could be together. We took a week to think about it and after a few long, tearful phone calls, we decided to move forward very slowly.Fast forward four days, I asked him how he was feeling and where his head was at. He said that he was anxious because he has only had friendly, platonic feelings for me. Since deciding to try us out, he is still trying to figure out if romantic feelings are going to develop.SOIs it possible for the romantic feelings from three months ago to redevelop?Does it matter that I am already further along than him and he knows it?Am I being a total fucking idiot by agreeing to try this out with him?—————————————————-TLDR: I fell for my FWB. We stopped talking and then started up again because he wants to try working out a relationship. He is concerned he won’t be able to develop romantic feelings for me since they have only been friendly, platonic from the start. Can he develop them, even if I am already past that? Am I being dumb?
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