My friend M[28] plans to travel to Nevada in order to have sex with women with down syndrome, do I M[23] have a moral obligation to stop him?

Last night I went to my friends apartment for a couple drinks. Since being a teenager I always considered the friend (lets call him J) an older brother. I often sought guidance from him, and this relationship continued into our 20s. After a few drinks and a shot of gin each, I suddenly remembered that I promised to email a document to a coworker. I asked to use J's computer while J cooks food and he obliges. While on google drive I notice he is still signed in so I go to sign out but then I get a glimpse of a folder titled "Ranch" , which seemed funny to me because in my drunken state it reminded me of the Eric Andre ranch skit so I opened it.

The folder contained a detailed itinerary for a 3 trip to a ranch in Nevada. The itinerary started august 23rd and ended august 25th. There were specific time slots for activities such as Horse riding, shooting practice, couples yoga, lunch, and dinner. The first day had an activity called "Selection", the second day had an activity called "Courting", and the third day had an activity called "Consummation". At the bottom was a list of fees, which in total amounted to around $9000 for the three day stay. The file took a far more sinister turn once i opened the folder called "headshots". Inside contained professional photos, one front facing shot, one side profile shot, and one full body shot (clothed) of 5 women, all with downs syndrome.

As soon as he came back from making food, I didn't beat around the bush. I'm sorry for phrasing it like this, this is just what my drunk completely appalled self said, "Are you planning a trip to have sex with retards?". His mood immediately soured and said "don't fucking call them that. Say disabled, actually now disabled isn't really correct, some prefer differently abled actually". I couldn't believe he was actually arguing about the semantics of an act I found so disgusting. I said "Just answer the question, Yes or no". He then sat down and started to eat his food and did not seem angry any more. He went all to talk about how "we all have fetishes" and "what is so wrong about indulging in those fetishes if the two parties involved are consenting adults". I told him my issue with this is the power dynamic between a man without down syndrome and a woman with down syndrome. He seemed offended. he said something along the lines of "Do you think a disabled person has no agency? They have the freedom to make personal decisions. Then I said that while I admit that this is true, a person with down syndrome may have the IQ of a child, meaning they could easily be coerced into a sexual relationship without being fully aware of the consequences. At this point he started to scream at me. He said "THEY'RE NOT FUCKING CHILDREN, THAT'S SICK THAT'S DISGUSTING" and he then said that if I actually met these women I would realize that just like me they experience a full range of human emotion, anger, hate, sadness, and yes even love and lust.

Out of morbid curiously I asked him the details of the whole arrangement. I wanted to know if the women were paid prostitutes or simply bachelors looking for a long term relationship. He said that their status lied somewhere in the middle. Families have an agreement with the ranch owner to be paid a sum of money (which helps pay for aids and special education) if the women visit the ranch for 3 days. There is no obligation to be romantically involved with any of the men that visit the range. The "courting" process is when the men try to woo over the women with down syndrome. J told me that there is a very strict set of rules that detail that the men can not be sexually aggressive and in no way forceful in the courtship process. The disclaimer is that only around 25 percent of the men that pay to stay at the range actually successfully have a sexual / romantic relationship with a woman with down syndrome. J told me he's willing to take those odds and that the weekend will be relaxing regardless. I really had nothing to say and came home with more questions than answers.

Is this whole process morally wrong? If so do I have an obligation to stop him from going? Is this process morally right (providing women with down syndrome money for aid and a chance at love that is rarely given to them)? Should a woman with down syndrome have the right to consent to sex, even if they have the IQ of a child? Should a woman with down syndrome only be able to have sex with a man with down syndrome to prevent any power dynamic? This is all very confusing for me. Thank you for your input.

TLDR: a close friend is planning to go to Nevada for a 3 day stay in which he has the opportunity to have a romantic and possibly sexual relationship with a woman with down syndrome. I confronted him and he tried to plead his case for why it is a positive moral action let I still feel this is a morally negative or at least morally ambiguous situation.

Submitted August 03, 2019 at 11:50PM

Last night I went to my friends apartment for a couple drinks. Since being a teenager I always considered the friend (lets call him J) an older brother. I often sought guidance from him, and this relationship continued into our 20s. After a few drinks and a shot of gin each, I suddenly remembered that I promised to email a document to a coworker. I asked to use J's computer while J cooks food and he obliges. While on google drive I notice he is still signed in so I go to sign out but then I get a glimpse of a folder titled "Ranch" , which seemed funny to me because in my drunken state it reminded me of the Eric Andre ranch skit so I opened it.The folder contained a detailed itinerary for a 3 trip to a ranch in Nevada. The itinerary started august 23rd and ended august 25th. There were specific time slots for activities such as Horse riding, shooting practice, couples yoga, lunch, and dinner. The first day had an activity called "Selection", the second day had an activity called "Courting", and the third day had an activity called "Consummation". At the bottom was a list of fees, which in total amounted to around $9000 for the three day stay. The file took a far more sinister turn once i opened the folder called "headshots". Inside contained professional photos, one front facing shot, one side profile shot, and one full body shot (clothed) of 5 women, all with downs syndrome.As soon as he came back from making food, I didn't beat around the bush. I'm sorry for phrasing it like this, this is just what my drunk completely appalled self said, "Are you planning a trip to have sex with retards?". His mood immediately soured and said "don't fucking call them that. Say disabled, actually now disabled isn't really correct, some prefer differently abled actually". I couldn't believe he was actually arguing about the semantics of an act I found so disgusting. I said "Just answer the question, Yes or no". He then sat down and started to eat his food and did not seem angry any more. He went all to talk about how "we all have fetishes" and "what is so wrong about indulging in those fetishes if the two parties involved are consenting adults". I told him my issue with this is the power dynamic between a man without down syndrome and a woman with down syndrome. He seemed offended. he said something along the lines of "Do you think a disabled person has no agency? They have the freedom to make personal decisions. Then I said that while I admit that this is true, a person with down syndrome may have the IQ of a child, meaning they could easily be coerced into a sexual relationship without being fully aware of the consequences. At this point he started to scream at me. He said "THEY'RE NOT FUCKING CHILDREN, THAT'S SICK THAT'S DISGUSTING" and he then said that if I actually met these women I would realize that just like me they experience a full range of human emotion, anger, hate, sadness, and yes even love and lust.Out of morbid curiously I asked him the details of the whole arrangement. I wanted to know if the women were paid prostitutes or simply bachelors looking for a long term relationship. He said that their status lied somewhere in the middle. Families have an agreement with the ranch owner to be paid a sum of money (which helps pay for aids and special education) if the women visit the ranch for 3 days. There is no obligation to be romantically involved with any of the men that visit the range. The "courting" process is when the men try to woo over the women with down syndrome. J told me that there is a very strict set of rules that detail that the men can not be sexually aggressive and in no way forceful in the courtship process. The disclaimer is that only around 25 percent of the men that pay to stay at the range actually successfully have a sexual / romantic relationship with a woman with down syndrome. J told me he's willing to take those odds and that the weekend will be relaxing regardless. I really had nothing to say and came home with more questions than answers.Is this whole process morally wrong? If so do I have an obligation to stop him from going? Is this process morally right (providing women with down syndrome money for aid and a chance at love that is rarely given to them)? Should a woman with down syndrome have the right to consent to sex, even if they have the IQ of a child? Should a woman with down syndrome only be able to have sex with a man with down syndrome to prevent any power dynamic? This is all very confusing for me. Thank you for your input.TLDR: a close friend is planning to go to Nevada for a 3 day stay in which he has the opportunity to have a romantic and possibly sexual relationship with a woman with down syndrome. I confronted him and he tried to plead his case for why it is a positive moral action let I still feel this is a morally negative or at least morally ambiguous situation.