I feel that my (F27) bf (M35) has put his work emotions onto me

Hi, first off, thanks for reading the post! It might get lengthy cos’ I want to provide as much context and details as I can.

I’ve been with my SO for 7 years. He recently found a new job and we thought all was well. We thought we could finally buy a flat together and we could travel out together. We’ve not travelled out before due to his financial situation.

Fast forward to just 2 months into the job, he said that he was unhappy and couldn’t work well with this co-worker. Okay fine, every work place has a shitty co-worker. But the fact that he is getting so uptight with her, bothers me because I’m very worried that he will leave this job again. Which few days ago, he confirmed my fears. He said he’d leave when his probation ends, which is just in another 2 weeks!

The past 3 weeks, we’ve been quarrelling non-stop. First incident was just me asking if he was very sure that the colleague was targeting at him. He blew off and basically said he want to break up. Me, being the loser me, begged him back. But he already said hurtful things which I didn’t want to revisit anymore.

Second incident was me telling him that if he leaves the job now, what about our plans? Are we going to postpone again? And then, he said fine, let’s break up. To which, AGAIN, I said I don’t wan’t to. We ended the call and the whole of next day, I was feeling like wtf. He texted and apologized and we were fine again.

Third and last incident, few nights ago, we were hanging out at his friends’ place. Suddenly he said, let’s go now. To which I’m like huh, so sudden? What happened? He didn’t provide any explanation and just said, let’s go now. So naturally I would thought, Did I do something wrong at his friend’s place? (I was worried cos I wanted to leave a good impression). He still didn’t tell me anything and just pulled me down. I was upset and then I told him, you could’ve at least told me what was it. Apparently, he said he wanted to tell me about his guy friend and he didn’t want to say there and then.

We had a quarrel and he said I was sensitive, I doubted him, I overthink. He didn’t even bothered to send me home and expected me to grab home on my own.

Basically the first and second incident, he said I projected the same “I don’t trust you” and “You kept questioning me” feelings onto him, just like his co-worker. To which I said to him, you’re putting your work emotions onto me. I understand that sometimes we bring work emotions home. But I don’t understand.

Am I in the wrong or what? Sorry for the wall of text.

Tl:dr; I feel that my bf has projected his work emotions onto me, and it doesn’t sit very well with me.

Submitted August 03, 2019 at 11:45PM

Hi, first off, thanks for reading the post! It might get lengthy cos’ I want to provide as much context and details as I can.I’ve been with my SO for 7 years. He recently found a new job and we thought all was well. We thought we could finally buy a flat together and we could travel out together. We’ve not travelled out before due to his financial situation.Fast forward to just 2 months into the job, he said that he was unhappy and couldn’t work well with this co-worker. Okay fine, every work place has a shitty co-worker. But the fact that he is getting so uptight with her, bothers me because I’m very worried that he will leave this job again. Which few days ago, he confirmed my fears. He said he’d leave when his probation ends, which is just in another 2 weeks!The past 3 weeks, we’ve been quarrelling non-stop. First incident was just me asking if he was very sure that the colleague was targeting at him. He blew off and basically said he want to break up. Me, being the loser me, begged him back. But he already said hurtful things which I didn’t want to revisit anymore.Second incident was me telling him that if he leaves the job now, what about our plans? Are we going to postpone again? And then, he said fine, let’s break up. To which, AGAIN, I said I don’t wan’t to. We ended the call and the whole of next day, I was feeling like wtf. He texted and apologized and we were fine again.Third and last incident, few nights ago, we were hanging out at his friends’ place. Suddenly he said, let’s go now. To which I’m like huh, so sudden? What happened? He didn’t provide any explanation and just said, let’s go now. So naturally I would thought, Did I do something wrong at his friend’s place? (I was worried cos I wanted to leave a good impression). He still didn’t tell me anything and just pulled me down. I was upset and then I told him, you could’ve at least told me what was it. Apparently, he said he wanted to tell me about his guy friend and he didn’t want to say there and then.We had a quarrel and he said I was sensitive, I doubted him, I overthink. He didn’t even bothered to send me home and expected me to grab home on my own.Basically the first and second incident, he said I projected the same “I don’t trust you” and “You kept questioning me” feelings onto him, just like his co-worker. To which I said to him, you’re putting your work emotions onto me. I understand that sometimes we bring work emotions home. But I don’t understand.Am I in the wrong or what? Sorry for the wall of text.Tl:dr; I feel that my bf has projected his work emotions onto me, and it doesn’t sit very well with me.