I canceled my first date because I felt the girl was going straight for sexual stuff and it made me uncomfortable. Was I even allowed to do that?

I was on one of these dating sites yesterday, saw a girls profile with similar interests so I figure I’d hit her up. To my surprise she responded and we started chatting, even going as far as getting my first number 🎉

We text some more that day and today, making arrangements for a date. We were talking about some of our interests and out of nowhere I’m hit with a “do I like curvy latinas” and I had a sinking feeling in my stomach.

I’m not a ‘normal’ guy in any sense. I’m not very sexual, I’m in my mid 20s but dating/companionship and sex just isn’t a priority. I’m also probably leaning towards feminist. Oh and I have desires to be a woman. 🤷‍♀️

There wasn’t anything wrong with her appearance, but the focus on her body before even meeting her just turned me off completely. I get the whole insecurities thing, my childhood was filled with verbal abuse from family about my appearance and it’s left a deep seeded chip on my shoulder. I don’t put a weight on appearances, I struggle with my own appearance, but the thought of this being something I have to answer as someone with my history and me being potentially misogynistic made me cancel our plans. It just felt like it was turning sexual right out of the gate, which isn’t what I was looking for. It just made me feel gross.

I didn’t want to be an asshole and just go silent so I told her basically what I said here sans all my personal issues. She told me that she’s used to shallow guys so she wanted to make sure I was okay with her body and that I shouldn’t jump to conclusions, but me being stubborn I had already made up my mind.

I get that I may have been a little extreme, but are my feelings justified at all? I know that women from a young age are subjected to appearances and everyone’s insecure as fuck, but is this going to be a reoccurring theme with everyone even before meeting?

I’m not asking reddit to play psychiatrist, but what’s wrong with me lol

Submitted July 30, 2019 at 11:42PM

I was on one of these dating sites yesterday, saw a girls profile with similar interests so I figure I’d hit her up. To my surprise she responded and we started chatting, even going as far as getting my first number 🎉We text some more that day and today, making arrangements for a date. We were talking about some of our interests and out of nowhere I’m hit with a “do I like curvy latinas” and I had a sinking feeling in my stomach.I’m not a ‘normal’ guy in any sense. I’m not very sexual, I’m in my mid 20s but dating/companionship and sex just isn’t a priority. I’m also probably leaning towards feminist. Oh and I have desires to be a woman. 🤷‍♀️There wasn’t anything wrong with her appearance, but the focus on her body before even meeting her just turned me off completely. I get the whole insecurities thing, my childhood was filled with verbal abuse from family about my appearance and it’s left a deep seeded chip on my shoulder. I don’t put a weight on appearances, I struggle with my own appearance, but the thought of this being something I have to answer as someone with my history and me being potentially misogynistic made me cancel our plans. It just felt like it was turning sexual right out of the gate, which isn’t what I was looking for. It just made me feel gross.I didn’t want to be an asshole and just go silent so I told her basically what I said here sans all my personal issues. She told me that she’s used to shallow guys so she wanted to make sure I was okay with her body and that I shouldn’t jump to conclusions, but me being stubborn I had already made up my mind.I get that I may have been a little extreme, but are my feelings justified at all? I know that women from a young age are subjected to appearances and everyone’s insecure as fuck, but is this going to be a reoccurring theme with everyone even before meeting?I’m not asking reddit to play psychiatrist, but what’s wrong with me lol