Concerned about friend’s [15F] relationship with man [32M] she met online.

Let’s call my friend Amy and the man Bob. Amy met Bob when she was 12 because they played the same game. Bob was nice to Amy, helping her with homework and being there for her to talk to. By the time Amy was 13 Bob had become more than a friend and Amy was sending him nudes. A few month ago Amy said she no longer wanted to send Bob nudes. Since then she’s occasionally worried he gives her less attention than before. Amy and Bob live in different countries so they’ve never met, but Bob was planning a trip to Amy’s country to meet her this summer. However, it seems like this trip won’t happen after all.

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The above are facts as best as I know them without my personal opinions attached. I’m concerned that this friendship/relationship between Amy and Bob might be unhealthy for Amy and that Bob’s behavior might be considered grooming/predatory. When I tried to bring these concerns up with Amy she vehemently denied them. Tonight we were arguing about it again and she said that a third party had told her her relationship with Bob was fine as long as she was safe.

I’m hoping Reddit can give some more opinions on this, the more the better, so that I can decide whether or not I should be worried about her even though Amy, Bob, and this third party (I don’t know who they are) all think things are fine. If I should be concerned, what would help Amy understand my concerns? I tried suggesting she talk to an adult or therapist but she refused and I can’t tell Amy’s parents because I also only know Amy online.

tl;dr: I’m concerned my friend’s relationship might be unhealthy but she is entirely convinced my fears are unfounded.

Submitted July 06, 2019 at 11:55PM

Let’s call my friend Amy and the man Bob. Amy met Bob when she was 12 because they played the same game. Bob was nice to Amy, helping her with homework and being there for her to talk to. By the time Amy was 13 Bob had become more than a friend and Amy was sending him nudes. A few month ago Amy said she no longer wanted to send Bob nudes. Since then she’s occasionally worried he gives her less attention than before. Amy and Bob live in different countries so they’ve never met, but Bob was planning a trip to Amy’s country to meet her this summer. However, it seems like this trip won’t happen after all.————————————————The above are facts as best as I know them without my personal opinions attached. I’m concerned that this friendship/relationship between Amy and Bob might be unhealthy for Amy and that Bob’s behavior might be considered grooming/predatory. When I tried to bring these concerns up with Amy she vehemently denied them. Tonight we were arguing about it again and she said that a third party had told her her relationship with Bob was fine as long as she was safe.I’m hoping Reddit can give some more opinions on this, the more the better, so that I can decide whether or not I should be worried about her even though Amy, Bob, and this third party (I don’t know who they are) all think things are fine. If I should be concerned, what would help Amy understand my concerns? I tried suggesting she talk to an adult or therapist but she refused and I can’t tell Amy’s parents because I also only know Amy online.tl;dr: I’m concerned my friend’s relationship might be unhealthy but she is entirely convinced my fears are unfounded.