Feeling EXTREMELY guilty for for setting boundaries with this guy [M,21] I [F,22] have feelings for

I [F,22] have been in a sort of talking/were the only ones each other are having sex with/etc with a guy [M,21] since early February of this year. Yet over these couple of months, feelings have developed between both of us. He has told me he likes me. Yet 2 weeks ago, while I was taking him home from a night out he told me he had sex with someone else while he was “black out” drunk and on molly (I do not condone or like his drug use). He is not a regular drug user. Him and I both drink.

I was very silent when he told me this. I didn’t have much to say. He did what he did and we’re not dating so I didn’t think I had room to be upset. Yet the weekend prior I told him that if he went and had sex with another girl I would be very upset. Then he went and did that. He told me he had no interest in having sex with other girls.

We spent time talking about it for a couple of hours. He told me he was sorry and I could see the shame and guilt on his face. He told me he didn’t know what to say other than it happened and he was sorry.

He stated, “it sounds disgusting and bad but it took fucking insert name to realize what I have with you.” That sounded wack and fucked up to me. But also during this talk, true feelings came out. He goes “do I ever want to fuck her again? No. Was it a one time thing? Yes. Was I so drunk and high that I said fuck it and just did it? Yes.”

I asked, “what would you do if I did this to you?” He said, “I would be pissed off and upset and I would never speak to you again.”

I told him, “I have always done right by you.” Him: “I know. You are fucking perfect to everyone around you despite what you’ve been through and I’m sorry.”

We care about each other a lot. I’m not trying to make excuses but maybe I should set more boundaries for myself in place.

As I was leaving his house I said, “if the boundary of not fucking other people is too much for you we don’t have to do this.” And he copped an attitude with me and said, “I don’t want to fuck other girls Jesus.” So I just left.

Last week I noticed that he’s been liking other girls pictures. I don’t know if I have a right to be mad, but he broke my trust having sex with that other girl while on drugs. Now I know not to put thought into social media stuff. Even if we are just hooking up. Don’t tell me I’m perfect and that you like me and have this special connection with me then be out here liking other girls stuff when you made it clear multiple times I’m the “only girl you talk to” and you “don’t want to nor do this with anyone else.” We don’t even text on a regular basis for someone who likes me.

He also made a comment last week to one of my best guy friends that he wants to have sex with a different girl. He said, "I want to fuck insert name so bad but I probably shouldn't." And my best guy friend said, "yeah you probably shouldn't."

I feel like he’s playing me. I feel like he’s not being honest with me. I feel like he wants to have his cake and eat it too. I deleted him off Snapchat and Instagram a couple of days ago to just get the point across I’m not going to be played out like that.

The girls he's also been trying to fuck or wants to have sex with are highly addicted to drugs, overly skinny, trash which I don't understand either. It seems like it's just easy pussy for him to get - which sucks and honestly disgusts me.

It's been a couple of days since I deleted him and he hasn't said anything to me. I'm on the fence whether it's due to the fact he doesn't care or he knows what he's done and feels guilty.

TL;DR Guy I've been hooking up with since February of this year got blackout drunk and high off Molly that he had sex with another girl when we had a mutual understanding to no do that. Now, he’s been liking other girls stuff and I don’t know if I have a right to be mad.

Submitted June 29, 2019 at 12:17AM

I [F,22] have been in a sort of talking/were the only ones each other are having sex with/etc with a guy [M,21] since early February of this year. Yet over these couple of months, feelings have developed between both of us. He has told me he likes me. Yet 2 weeks ago, while I was taking him home from a night out he told me he had sex with someone else while he was “black out” drunk and on molly (I do not condone or like his drug use). He is not a regular drug user. Him and I both drink.I was very silent when he told me this. I didn’t have much to say. He did what he did and we’re not dating so I didn’t think I had room to be upset. Yet the weekend prior I told him that if he went and had sex with another girl I would be very upset. Then he went and did that. He told me he had no interest in having sex with other girls.We spent time talking about it for a couple of hours. He told me he was sorry and I could see the shame and guilt on his face. He told me he didn’t know what to say other than it happened and he was sorry.He stated, “it sounds disgusting and bad but it took fucking insert name to realize what I have with you.” That sounded wack and fucked up to me. But also during this talk, true feelings came out. He goes “do I ever want to fuck her again? No. Was it a one time thing? Yes. Was I so drunk and high that I said fuck it and just did it? Yes.”I asked, “what would you do if I did this to you?” He said, “I would be pissed off and upset and I would never speak to you again.”I told him, “I have always done right by you.” Him: “I know. You are fucking perfect to everyone around you despite what you’ve been through and I’m sorry.”We care about each other a lot. I’m not trying to make excuses but maybe I should set more boundaries for myself in place.As I was leaving his house I said, “if the boundary of not fucking other people is too much for you we don’t have to do this.” And he copped an attitude with me and said, “I don’t want to fuck other girls Jesus.” So I just left.Last week I noticed that he’s been liking other girls pictures. I don’t know if I have a right to be mad, but he broke my trust having sex with that other girl while on drugs. Now I know not to put thought into social media stuff. Even if we are just hooking up. Don’t tell me I’m perfect and that you like me and have this special connection with me then be out here liking other girls stuff when you made it clear multiple times I’m the “only girl you talk to” and you “don’t want to nor do this with anyone else.” We don’t even text on a regular basis for someone who likes me.He also made a comment last week to one of my best guy friends that he wants to have sex with a different girl. He said, "I want to fuck insert name so bad but I probably shouldn't." And my best guy friend said, "yeah you probably shouldn't."I feel like he’s playing me. I feel like he’s not being honest with me. I feel like he wants to have his cake and eat it too. I deleted him off Snapchat and Instagram a couple of days ago to just get the point across I’m not going to be played out like that.The girls he's also been trying to fuck or wants to have sex with are highly addicted to drugs, overly skinny, trash which I don't understand either. It seems like it's just easy pussy for him to get - which sucks and honestly disgusts me.It's been a couple of days since I deleted him and he hasn't said anything to me. I'm on the fence whether it's due to the fact he doesn't care or he knows what he's done and feels guilty.TL;DR Guy I've been hooking up with since February of this year got blackout drunk and high off Molly that he had sex with another girl when we had a mutual understanding to no do that. Now, he’s been liking other girls stuff and I don’t know if I have a right to be mad.