Once Upon a Time!

We really were something to be reckoned with, once upon a time. Every now and then in my head, I catch a glimpse of your eyes and remember how brightly they shined, how your smile dominated the world. How we made each other laugh and our deep talks.

But times have changed, you played me like a fiddle, so naturally as the sea plays with its waves, calmly and subtly, but ever so slightly, violently crashing me into jagged rocks making it difficult for me to ever surface and take a breathe even for a moment, as the wind indulges the flames of a crackling fire: dancing with it, manipulating it.

It never mattered to me, the pains and mental scars, I was always willing to take in the pain for you, thinking, knowing for sure that I could give you something you never had and yearned for.

Then again, I cannot blame you for being playful, for chaos is a characteristic of true beauty and being involved within the process of watching a caterpillar turning into a fiery butterfly, is not something everyone can handle, being with you made me forget about myself, my being and all my struggles, with it; the very fabric of what makes me human.

To this day I find it difficult to consider the number of times I sat down contemplating whether I really was in love with you, or whether I was so obsessed with the idea of love itself and the given curiosity of what 'love' could be, the endless chase of being apart of something I never was, I never thought I could have, like a moth instinctively drawn to a flame, or a fly taking the moment to dive in your drink, allowing it's sense of curiosity to overtake it's ultimate risk of drowning and death.

You were never good for my anxiety, but I must admit you were always a thrill, as I stand here now, no longer a result of my or your toxicity, no longer grieving, but standing by the greenery surrounding the tranquil sounds of unconditional life, self-care and acceptance, as the only agent standing between you and I; the whistling winds grow ever louder in the distance, I raise my hand in anticipation and release you now to the world not just to free you and myself from the tyrannical figures our egos created of ourselves, But to make peace to our adventures and memories together, the good and the bad, no longer trying to repress them; simply acknowledging them as an essential moment within the ongoing cycle of life, and moving on to a better now where I can grow and better embrace my own self.

Submitted April 27, 2019 at 03:02PM

We really were something to be reckoned with, once upon a time. Every now and then in my head, I catch a glimpse of your eyes and remember how brightly they shined, how your smile dominated the world. How we made each other laugh and our deep talks.But times have changed, you played me like a fiddle, so naturally as the sea plays with its waves, calmly and subtly, but ever so slightly, violently crashing me into jagged rocks making it difficult for me to ever surface and take a breathe even for a moment, as the wind indulges the flames of a crackling fire: dancing with it, manipulating it.It never mattered to me, the pains and mental scars, I was always willing to take in the pain for you, thinking, knowing for sure that I could give you something you never had and yearned for.Then again, I cannot blame you for being playful, for chaos is a characteristic of true beauty and being involved within the process of watching a caterpillar turning into a fiery butterfly, is not something everyone can handle, being with you made me forget about myself, my being and all my struggles, with it; the very fabric of what makes me human.To this day I find it difficult to consider the number of times I sat down contemplating whether I really was in love with you, or whether I was so obsessed with the idea of love itself and the given curiosity of what 'love' could be, the endless chase of being apart of something I never was, I never thought I could have, like a moth instinctively drawn to a flame, or a fly taking the moment to dive in your drink, allowing it's sense of curiosity to overtake it's ultimate risk of drowning and death.You were never good for my anxiety, but I must admit you were always a thrill, as I stand here now, no longer a result of my or your toxicity, no longer grieving, but standing by the greenery surrounding the tranquil sounds of unconditional life, self-care and acceptance, as the only agent standing between you and I; the whistling winds grow ever louder in the distance, I raise my hand in anticipation and release you now to the world not just to free you and myself from the tyrannical figures our egos created of ourselves, But to make peace to our adventures and memories together, the good and the bad, no longer trying to repress them; simply acknowledging them as an essential moment within the ongoing cycle of life, and moving on to a better now where I can grow and better embrace my own self.