Discomfort when touched

I should probably post this using a throwaway, but I’m too lazy. I’m an 18-year-old female-to-male trans guy (I haven’t medically transitioned yet), and I’m having a lot of difficulty with masturbation and physical contact that I fear will translate to a difficulty with sex.

I’ve always masturbated by clenching my hand between my thighs and bucking against my (clothed) vagina, as penetration (even with a finger) is incredibly painful and just generally uncomfortable. It almost feels like I can’t find the hole, if that makes sense. I’ve tried it after becoming aroused and using plenty of lube, but I still can’t manage it. The only way I can stimulate myself is my “traditional” method and by using a vibrator against my clitoris. Naturally, as a young person with sex on my mind, I’m incredibly frustrated by my inability to penetrate myself— I genuinely don’t think I’ll be able to have vaginal sex.

Another issue I’m having is with being touched in general. It’s sort of weird, but my close friends and I are very sexually open with each other, and we’ve all engaged in different sexual/fetish activities with each other. While I enjoy some of it (typically the more pain-oriented BDSM activities), I felt incredibly uncomfortable whenever my vaginal area or nipples were touched from time to time. It wasn’t a mental discomfort, as I genuinely enjoyed the attention from the friend, but rather, a physical discomfort— it’s like things that are supposed to arouse me fail to. I’m also uninterested in traditional porn, and only get off on fetish content (feel free to make fun of me, but my fetish is tickling). I do, however, want to have sex, but I’m almost certain it would be painful and/or uncomfortable. I’m on the verge of seeing a gynecologist at this point. Not sure if it makes any difference, but I am autistic, and I do know that many autistic people are either hypersexual or asexual, but I don’t really feel like I fit into either category. Any ideas?

Submitted April 28, 2019 at 05:56AM

I should probably post this using a throwaway, but I’m too lazy. I’m an 18-year-old female-to-male trans guy (I haven’t medically transitioned yet), and I’m having a lot of difficulty with masturbation and physical contact that I fear will translate to a difficulty with sex.I’ve always masturbated by clenching my hand between my thighs and bucking against my (clothed) vagina, as penetration (even with a finger) is incredibly painful and just generally uncomfortable. It almost feels like I can’t find the hole, if that makes sense. I’ve tried it after becoming aroused and using plenty of lube, but I still can’t manage it. The only way I can stimulate myself is my “traditional” method and by using a vibrator against my clitoris. Naturally, as a young person with sex on my mind, I’m incredibly frustrated by my inability to penetrate myself— I genuinely don’t think I’ll be able to have vaginal sex.Another issue I’m having is with being touched in general. It’s sort of weird, but my close friends and I are very sexually open with each other, and we’ve all engaged in different sexual/fetish activities with each other. While I enjoy some of it (typically the more pain-oriented BDSM activities), I felt incredibly uncomfortable whenever my vaginal area or nipples were touched from time to time. It wasn’t a mental discomfort, as I genuinely enjoyed the attention from the friend, but rather, a physical discomfort— it’s like things that are supposed to arouse me fail to. I’m also uninterested in traditional porn, and only get off on fetish content (feel free to make fun of me, but my fetish is tickling). I do, however, want to have sex, but I’m almost certain it would be painful and/or uncomfortable. I’m on the verge of seeing a gynecologist at this point. Not sure if it makes any difference, but I am autistic, and I do know that many autistic people are either hypersexual or asexual, but I don’t really feel like I fit into either category. Any ideas?