Relationship anxiety

Crossposted in relationship_advice

So I’m (f 26) in a new relationship with a really sweet guy (m27). We’re taking it slow but we really like each other. When we hang out I feel great around him and afterwards I’m happy for a while. Unfortunately, our schedules are opposite so we don’t get to see each other consistently. On the days I don’t get to see him I have anxiety spirals and my thoughts just go around things he said and then my thoughts escalate to the worst case scenario. By the end of the day, I believe he’s just using me, manipulating me, conning me, lying to me, etc. I plan on confronting him about it when I see him again but then when I see him things are so great that I realize I’ve just been spiraling.

It’s really taking a toll on my mind and I don’t think he realizes what is going on because when we’re together it’s good. I really have no reason to think he actually is doing anything wrong and I don’t want my anxiety to get in the way of what could be a fantastic relationship.

Is this something I should share with him? I don’t think I should say all the terrible thoughts about him because it would hurt him but I don’t know how to explain or open up about this without saying what my fears are. How do I move past this?

I have done therapy for years for my anxiety and overall it’s better but this is my first relationship in a long time and I think the newness is really triggering for me.



Submitted December 02, 2021 at 11:46PM

Crossposted in relationship_adviceSo I’m (f 26) in a new relationship with a really sweet guy (m27). We’re taking it slow but we really like each other. When we hang out I feel great around him and afterwards I’m happy for a while. Unfortunately, our schedules are opposite so we don’t get to see each other consistently. On the days I don’t get to see him I have anxiety spirals and my thoughts just go around things he said and then my thoughts escalate to the worst case scenario. By the end of the day, I believe he’s just using me, manipulating me, conning me, lying to me, etc. I plan on confronting him about it when I see him again but then when I see him things are so great that I realize I’ve just been spiraling.It’s really taking a toll on my mind and I don’t think he realizes what is going on because when we’re together it’s good. I really have no reason to think he actually is doing anything wrong and I don’t want my anxiety to get in the way of what could be a fantastic relationship.Is this something I should share with him? I don’t think I should say all the terrible thoughts about him because it would hurt him but I don’t know how to explain or open up about this without saying what my fears are. How do I move past this?I have done therapy for years for my anxiety and overall it’s better but this is my first relationship in a long time and I think the newness is really triggering for me.
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