Dating two guys: how to proceed?

I (25F) met these 2 guys (26M and 27M) thru OLD. I have been talking to 26M for like 2 months and 27M for like 2 weeks. Both are gentlemen and very respectful. I have currently gone out on 2 dates with 26M, we held hands and kissed on both the first and second dates. We are both looking for someone who shares our values and whom we can build a real relationship with. He has a good career, is close with his family, and helps out around the house (he cooks and cleans). We we text pretty much daily (other than the one time he didn't text for a few days but apologized for being MIA and said he was dealing with personal stuff). During these few days, I thought he ghosted me, so I went back onto dating apps and matched with 27M. We really hit it off over text; he's really funny and we share the same sense of humor. He is very straightforward and says what's on his mind, and I find that very refreshing. I feel like I don't have to worry about him playing games. He said he doesn't see the point in doing that, and I appreciate that a lot. He is looking for a relationship as well, but isn't in a rush. However, I discovered that he is thinking of moving out of the country in like a year or so, so idk how that would work if this does go somewhere. We've been on one date so far, and I'd say it went well conversation wise. We had lots to talk about and laughed a lot. We only hugged at the end.

The conversation flowed pretty easily with both guys and they expressed wanting to see me again. 26M asked me to hang out next weekend, and 27M asked me to see a movie. I honestly see 26M as more of a long-term fit, but I don't know if he's seeing or talking to other people & I feel like it's a bit early to talk about exclusivity as it's only been 2 dates so far. In the past, I dated this one guy for like 3 months and stopped talking to other guys because I thought it was going somewhere, but he ended up ghosting me. I guess my dilemma is whether or not to keep seeing 27M even though I think I like 26M better. Is it selfish of me to want to keep the door open with 27M in case things don't work out with 26M? I feel like I'm being disingenuous by continuing to see both guys, and I would prefer to make a decision soon for my own sake (I overthink way too much & it's taking up a lot of my headspace and time). Neither guy has mentioned talking to/seeing other people or exclusivity.

Should I go on a second date with 27M and see where it goes? Is it too early for me to ask 26M if he's seeing anyone else/where he sees this going? How many dates would you say it becomes "wrong" to see more than one person? Any advice would be appreciated.

Submitted October 18, 2021 at 01:07AM

I (25F) met these 2 guys (26M and 27M) thru OLD. I have been talking to 26M for like 2 months and 27M for like 2 weeks. Both are gentlemen and very respectful. I have currently gone out on 2 dates with 26M, we held hands and kissed on both the first and second dates. We are both looking for someone who shares our values and whom we can build a real relationship with. He has a good career, is close with his family, and helps out around the house (he cooks and cleans). We we text pretty much daily (other than the one time he didn't text for a few days but apologized for being MIA and said he was dealing with personal stuff). During these few days, I thought he ghosted me, so I went back onto dating apps and matched with 27M. We really hit it off over text; he's really funny and we share the same sense of humor. He is very straightforward and says what's on his mind, and I find that very refreshing. I feel like I don't have to worry about him playing games. He said he doesn't see the point in doing that, and I appreciate that a lot. He is looking for a relationship as well, but isn't in a rush. However, I discovered that he is thinking of moving out of the country in like a year or so, so idk how that would work if this does go somewhere. We've been on one date so far, and I'd say it went well conversation wise. We had lots to talk about and laughed a lot. We only hugged at the end.The conversation flowed pretty easily with both guys and they expressed wanting to see me again. 26M asked me to hang out next weekend, and 27M asked me to see a movie. I honestly see 26M as more of a long-term fit, but I don't know if he's seeing or talking to other people & I feel like it's a bit early to talk about exclusivity as it's only been 2 dates so far. In the past, I dated this one guy for like 3 months and stopped talking to other guys because I thought it was going somewhere, but he ended up ghosting me. I guess my dilemma is whether or not to keep seeing 27M even though I think I like 26M better. Is it selfish of me to want to keep the door open with 27M in case things don't work out with 26M? I feel like I'm being disingenuous by continuing to see both guys, and I would prefer to make a decision soon for my own sake (I overthink way too much & it's taking up a lot of my headspace and time). Neither guy has mentioned talking to/seeing other people or exclusivity.Should I go on a second date with 27M and see where it goes? Is it too early for me to ask 26M if he's seeing anyone else/where he sees this going? How many dates would you say it becomes "wrong" to see more than one person? Any advice would be appreciated.