Should I send her a Birthday text

Hey there,

1 month ago

I met a girl through a dating app and we instantly clicked. We had a three hour video chat where she told me her birthday was coming up. I'm not into astrology at all, but for some reason after this video chat I decided to look up our compatibility through zodiac signs. Turns out were suppose to be "soulmates". Finding this out put the rosiest rose color glasses money can buy on me. I mean I started fantasying and expecting this to lead to something long lasting.

A few days go by and I ask to hang out and watch ATLA (we're both fans). We end up cuddling & eventually kissing (I didn't feel any sparks when kissing her but I think it could be because I was sleep deprived and I didn't have a emotional connection to her yet, I had been up for 24 hours straight).

We stop short of having sex and I end up staying the night because of my sleep deprivation (scared to drive home).

We cuddle in her bed and end up having a honest conversation about us. She just got out of a relationship and wasn't ready to jump into another one and I was looking for a job (possibly moving cities). So we decided to not pursue a romantic relationship. At this point my heart, which had been in rose colored glasses mode, is devastated and she ends up comforting me. Eventually we get into her own insecurities and I comfort her. For me it was the most intense emotional connection I've ever experienced. We were able to be honest with each other and communicate effectively. The emotional intelligence and self awareness was off the charts.

3 weeks ago

I leave her the next morning by telling her I want to be her friend, but I needed time to figure out what happened to me. I take this week to really dive into myself and that's where I pin pointed the astrology stuff as the trigger. I get back in touch with her at the end of the week.

We meet for lunch and we had a nice time. At least I left the situation feeling socially fulfilled vs socially drained, but I could tell I was holding my genuine self back. I wasn't the same as that first night. I built a small wall up. Probably to protect myself from getting my feelings hurt again.

2 weeks ago

We meet again to play some video games. Again a mostly positive experience. Still feeling fulfilled. However, I think maybe both of use are putting up walls now? It just doesn't feel as right anymore. This was also on Valentine's day, but we communicated it was just to be friendly.

I wanted to try and be friends with her because I don't have any close friends. So I thought, "I found a person that gets me. I've never met a person that gets me. I need to keep them around. Yes I might pursue something romantic with her in the future, but right now the main goal is to just get to know this person because they seem to be scary similar to you."

Present Day

I haven't heard from her since Valentine's day. I haven't reached out either. This was because I have initialed all of our hangouts so far and I wanted to see some interest from her side to want to see me. Otherwise it feels like I am a burden to her and she just agrees to hangout out of obligation. That might just be a internalized thought tho.

My main problem is that I have no idea what's going on in her head since that first night. She mentioned during one of our hangouts that she needed to work on taking risks. The way she said it made it feel like maybe she was holding back feelings for me. At this point I have no idea where we are at. Maybe I expected too much from the friendship too soon. To expect emotional intimacy like we had that first night seems kinda crazy in hindsight.

​

Alright here's the actually question. I remember her birthday from when she mentioned it a month ago. She hasn't mentioned it since. If I were to wish her a happy birthday, after no communication for 19 days, would it be interpreted as something more than friendly? She's probably the only one that can answer that.

​

I would want to try and date this girl if given the chance. I can't tell her how I feel though. The ball is in her court. I can't pour my feels out knowing that she is dealing with her own breakup and trying to find her sense of self again. I'm not waiting around either. I'm on dating apps and going on video dates. Fuck, but I am still strung up on her. I think about her all the time and compare everyone I meet to her. So maybe I am waiting around.

As you can see I've spent alot of mental capacity on this and I am exhausted. I wish I could just get a verdict. Do you want to try and do thing or not because I can't get you out my head? That way I could move on. Normally the no contact would be a clear indicator, but I am still thinking about the way she said she needed to take more risks. That little glimmer of hope is keeping this alive.

​

TLDR: Met a girl a month ago & had really good emotional connection. We friendzoned each other. Shit doesn't feel the same. Haven't talked in 19 days. Her birthday is coming up (she mentioned this a month ago). Should I wish her a happy birthday?

Submitted February 28, 2021 at 11:57PM

Hey there,1 month agoI met a girl through a dating app and we instantly clicked. We had a three hour video chat where she told me her birthday was coming up. I'm not into astrology at all, but for some reason after this video chat I decided to look up our compatibility through zodiac signs. Turns out were suppose to be "soulmates". Finding this out put the rosiest rose color glasses money can buy on me. I mean I started fantasying and expecting this to lead to something long lasting.A few days go by and I ask to hang out and watch ATLA (we're both fans). We end up cuddling & eventually kissing (I didn't feel any sparks when kissing her but I think it could be because I was sleep deprived and I didn't have a emotional connection to her yet, I had been up for 24 hours straight).We stop short of having sex and I end up staying the night because of my sleep deprivation (scared to drive home).We cuddle in her bed and end up having a honest conversation about us. She just got out of a relationship and wasn't ready to jump into another one and I was looking for a job (possibly moving cities). So we decided to not pursue a romantic relationship. At this point my heart, which had been in rose colored glasses mode, is devastated and she ends up comforting me. Eventually we get into her own insecurities and I comfort her. For me it was the most intense emotional connection I've ever experienced. We were able to be honest with each other and communicate effectively. The emotional intelligence and self awareness was off the charts.3 weeks agoI leave her the next morning by telling her I want to be her friend, but I needed time to figure out what happened to me. I take this week to really dive into myself and that's where I pin pointed the astrology stuff as the trigger. I get back in touch with her at the end of the week.We meet for lunch and we had a nice time. At least I left the situation feeling socially fulfilled vs socially drained, but I could tell I was holding my genuine self back. I wasn't the same as that first night. I built a small wall up. Probably to protect myself from getting my feelings hurt again.2 weeks agoWe meet again to play some video games. Again a mostly positive experience. Still feeling fulfilled. However, I think maybe both of use are putting up walls now? It just doesn't feel as right anymore. This was also on Valentine's day, but we communicated it was just to be friendly.I wanted to try and be friends with her because I don't have any close friends. So I thought, "I found a person that gets me. I've never met a person that gets me. I need to keep them around. Yes I might pursue something romantic with her in the future, but right now the main goal is to just get to know this person because they seem to be scary similar to you."Present DayI haven't heard from her since Valentine's day. I haven't reached out either. This was because I have initialed all of our hangouts so far and I wanted to see some interest from her side to want to see me. Otherwise it feels like I am a burden to her and she just agrees to hangout out of obligation. That might just be a internalized thought tho.My main problem is that I have no idea what's going on in her head since that first night. She mentioned during one of our hangouts that she needed to work on taking risks. The way she said it made it feel like maybe she was holding back feelings for me. At this point I have no idea where we are at. Maybe I expected too much from the friendship too soon. To expect emotional intimacy like we had that first night seems kinda crazy in hindsight.​Alright here's the actually question. I remember her birthday from when she mentioned it a month ago. She hasn't mentioned it since. If I were to wish her a happy birthday, after no communication for 19 days, would it be interpreted as something more than friendly? She's probably the only one that can answer that.​I would want to try and date this girl if given the chance. I can't tell her how I feel though. The ball is in her court. I can't pour my feels out knowing that she is dealing with her own breakup and trying to find her sense of self again. I'm not waiting around either. I'm on dating apps and going on video dates. Fuck, but I am still strung up on her. I think about her all the time and compare everyone I meet to her. So maybe I am waiting around.As you can see I've spent alot of mental capacity on this and I am exhausted. I wish I could just get a verdict. Do you want to try and do thing or not because I can't get you out my head? That way I could move on. Normally the no contact would be a clear indicator, but I am still thinking about the way she said she needed to take more risks. That little glimmer of hope is keeping this alive.​TLDR: Met a girl a month ago & had really good emotional connection. We friendzoned each other. Shit doesn't feel the same. Haven't talked in 19 days. Her birthday is coming up (she mentioned this a month ago). Should I wish her a happy birthday?