I need to vent and I need advice

My boyfriend (23M) and I (22F)broke up about 2 weeks ago and we’re together for a little over a year, he’s the one who ended things because he felt like he needed to work on himself, wanted to meet new people, etc. While I was hurt, I felt like a lot of anxiety that I had been carrying was lifted off my shoulders (our relationship was not perfect by any means and had some toxic moments). We agreed that we would continue to be in each other’s lives and for the first week I felt good. I felt like I was my own person again and had no expectations of when he would text me or what our communication was. Lately he has been calling and texting me more which I’m realizing is giving me anxiety, so I told him we should talk less which he understood. However I can’t shake this feeling that Im still his best friend and person he goes too for things. For context he has a small circle of friends, one close guy friend and a bunch of friends he games with online. But no one he calls when he’s at work or driving home, that’s been me. The idea of telling him we should stop talking or talk even less KILLS ME because I never want to be someone to hurt him or take away something that he “needs.” I know I should put myself first and that he would understand but the idea of him sitting in silence In traffic or not having anyone to turn to when things get rough is ripping me apart. He says that he’s happy and in a good place and I don’t want to ruin that for him by removing myself a little more from his life. I need him to let me go because it would be so much easier. I love him so much and just want him to be happy but I can’t be that person for him anymore. I just don’t know what to do



Submitted March 01, 2021 at 12:06AM

My boyfriend (23M) and I (22F)broke up about 2 weeks ago and we’re together for a little over a year, he’s the one who ended things because he felt like he needed to work on himself, wanted to meet new people, etc. While I was hurt, I felt like a lot of anxiety that I had been carrying was lifted off my shoulders (our relationship was not perfect by any means and had some toxic moments). We agreed that we would continue to be in each other’s lives and for the first week I felt good. I felt like I was my own person again and had no expectations of when he would text me or what our communication was. Lately he has been calling and texting me more which I’m realizing is giving me anxiety, so I told him we should talk less which he understood. However I can’t shake this feeling that Im still his best friend and person he goes too for things. For context he has a small circle of friends, one close guy friend and a bunch of friends he games with online. But no one he calls when he’s at work or driving home, that’s been me. The idea of telling him we should stop talking or talk even less KILLS ME because I never want to be someone to hurt him or take away something that he “needs.” I know I should put myself first and that he would understand but the idea of him sitting in silence In traffic or not having anyone to turn to when things get rough is ripping me apart. He says that he’s happy and in a good place and I don’t want to ruin that for him by removing myself a little more from his life. I need him to let me go because it would be so much easier. I love him so much and just want him to be happy but I can’t be that person for him anymore. I just don’t know what to do
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