My (22F) boyfriend (22M) doesn’t want to have sex with me anymore

For background, my boyfriend and I have been together for 3.5 years. We don’t live together but I just graduated and he’s in a 5 year program so he graduates next year. We live about 30 minutes apart now that I’m no longer in college. At the beginning of our relationship, the sex was literally amazing. Multiple times a day and he is really attentive to my body and needs. Over time, the occurrences became less and less, but honestly I wasn’t concerned because the amount changed as we grew as a couple. It was still 1-2 times a week.

Since last fall, the frequency decreased to about once a month which was still fine. Now, we haven’t been intimate since January. I automatically blamed myself and convinced myself it had to do with me. I’ve tried to talk to him about it multiple times but he just won’t give me anything to work with. First, he didn’t know why he didn’t want to be intimate, now all he says is he doesn’t want to tell me why..... I just feel like that’s such an immature way to handle it.

Please call me out if I’m wrong because I know sexuality is a sensitive topic and I never want to make him do something he doesn’t want to, and have never tried to. But all I want are answers and he refuses to give them to me. It doesn’t seem fair and it’s just making me even more upset. He says he’s still attracted to me and wants to be in this relationship, but it’s just not giving me peace of mind when I don’t know the actual reason.

I’ve tried to send him sexy messages which are just met with “okay”. I don’t even try to initiate anything in person.

I still want to be with him and don’t want to say this is a dealbreaker for me, but I’ve learned that I need intimacy in a relationship and I’ve been going kinda crazy without it, even with taking matters into my own hands. It more so has to do with feeling close to him. All other aspects of our relationship are completely fine, which makes this even more confusing. Please help me on how to approach this, and feel free to call me out (kindly please) if I’m wrong for being upset about this

tl;dr my boyfriend of 3.5 years and I haven’t had sex since January and he won’t tell me why he doesn’t want to



Submitted August 17, 2020 at 12:14AM

For background, my boyfriend and I have been together for 3.5 years. We don’t live together but I just graduated and he’s in a 5 year program so he graduates next year. We live about 30 minutes apart now that I’m no longer in college. At the beginning of our relationship, the sex was literally amazing. Multiple times a day and he is really attentive to my body and needs. Over time, the occurrences became less and less, but honestly I wasn’t concerned because the amount changed as we grew as a couple. It was still 1-2 times a week.Since last fall, the frequency decreased to about once a month which was still fine. Now, we haven’t been intimate since January. I automatically blamed myself and convinced myself it had to do with me. I’ve tried to talk to him about it multiple times but he just won’t give me anything to work with. First, he didn’t know why he didn’t want to be intimate, now all he says is he doesn’t want to tell me why..... I just feel like that’s such an immature way to handle it.Please call me out if I’m wrong because I know sexuality is a sensitive topic and I never want to make him do something he doesn’t want to, and have never tried to. But all I want are answers and he refuses to give them to me. It doesn’t seem fair and it’s just making me even more upset. He says he’s still attracted to me and wants to be in this relationship, but it’s just not giving me peace of mind when I don’t know the actual reason.I’ve tried to send him sexy messages which are just met with “okay”. I don’t even try to initiate anything in person.I still want to be with him and don’t want to say this is a dealbreaker for me, but I’ve learned that I need intimacy in a relationship and I’ve been going kinda crazy without it, even with taking matters into my own hands. It more so has to do with feeling close to him. All other aspects of our relationship are completely fine, which makes this even more confusing. Please help me on how to approach this, and feel free to call me out (kindly please) if I’m wrong for being upset about thistl;dr my boyfriend of 3.5 years and I haven’t had sex since January and he won’t tell me why he doesn’t want to
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Add Comments, Posts, Links... etc.

Popular posts from this blog

The difference between being right and being understood

My boyfriend and I are 28. We’ve been together for about 1.5 years and recently moved in together. He’s a pretty patient and easygoing person (Type B) whereas I’m more particular (Type A). Of course there are two sides to every trait, and my Type A nature benefits us in some ways too. Like all couples, we have differences in perspective or preference. When this happens, he will usually say something like “I disagree (with your perspective) but fine.” I tend to push the issue in an attempt to get him to understand where I’m coming from. This escalates the disagreement into a fight because he perceives it as me trying to be “right”. I truly just want to be understood (and I want to understand where he’s coming from) so I’m looking for more of a dialogue whereas he avoids conflict and just wants it to be over as quickly as possible. His general approach is “agree to disagree” but that doesn’t make sense to me when it’s an issue that will keep coming up and requires compromise. I’m n...
Read more

My (27f) gf (27f) is getting tired of me not sharing intimate/ personal info about me

I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love with her, however I can not seem to open up... and I can tell it’s frustrating to her by the way she tells me it bothers her that she feels she’s the only one committed and the one that’s always sharing... At this point I don’t even know if it is that I’ve gotten too used to it, to the point I’ve became lazy to talk about myself or give any genuine personal opinion... it sucks, really, I need to communicate better... Where do I start? Tl;dr: I can’t be completely intimate with my gf and its frustrating her, I need to communicate better because I really love her... where to start? Submitted April 25, 2019 at 06:02AM I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love ...
Read more

My (23M) girlfriend (25F) relationship is confusing to me. I might be the problem, or maybe we are just incompatible.

I met my girlfriend after a few serious breakups that led me to change both intentionally and unintentionally over a few years. For better and for worse. She had just gotten out of an engagement with a verbally and physically abusive man who had a cocaine problem. We have been together about 8 months now. We hit it off and spent a lot of time together but she began to push our relationship as if there were a time clock for milestones. I was pressed beyond my comfort zone and went with it because of my affection for her. My living situation fell apart and I lost a few thousand dollars to shit roommates right around the time she and I met and she offered to let me stay with her. I agreed with some resistance. I pay for food, help her with bills, and throw money toward rent while trying to get back on my feet. As long as we have been together she has gotten more possessive, angry, and irrational. She is dealing with shit from her engagement and I feel shes looking for a level of seriou...
Read more