What is my issue?

I (27F) had to get emergency evacuated from my school overnight. It was 3 days of mass mayhem trying to get a flight out straight mosh pit of people lined up at airports. I didn’t get a flight for 3 days all my friends got picked in the lotto and I was alone feeling scared in this crazy time for 3 days. so I felt scared and desperate so I ended up calling my ex (dated him (28M)for almost 10 years we broke up a year and half ago but we still talked until this past June). Long story short behind our relationship is that basically I supported us financially and any other ways. We dated for so long that I needed him to show maturity and step up to the plate. Get a job, finish the last 3 semesters of school anything. I understand some of you may attack me for wanting to change someone but I loved him with all my heart I just wanted stability in our future. We’re almost 30. It’s time to move out and be real. Meanwhile I’m in med school finishing up and he was unemployed living at grandmas. Anyways I ended up breaking his heart he went into a depression. Drank a lot. Hit up all his exes. One of his past exes was still in love with him and basically broke up her engagement to be with him. He hooked up with her a month after we broke up. After 2 of his other exes denied hooking up with him. And all his friends told me that she’s the girl he always goes after when he’s in between girls.

So that’s the background. In the middle of his chaos and trying to get home while borders are closing to the US. I call my ex bc I just wanted to hear a familiar voice in this scary time. She picks up. She goes off telling me how I’m just mad bc he used to say her name while he had sex with me (never happened), and I replied back saying lol wut.. listen I’m not trying to intervene or break u guys up you have all my blessings. I just wanted to talk to someone who was a big part of my life for 10 years during a scary time. She replies, in a shaky voice, oh yeah he told me he’s been thinking about me for 12 years. He’s my bf now. You mean nothing you’re disgusting. Meanwhile whole time she’s going off I hear him laughing in the back. Also during our 10 year relationship he never addressed me by anything not babe baby or even my name. It was always yo. And I always asked for him to call me baby, but he never did. And he’s not the type to lie. He used to be the nicest kindest person to anyone. He cared a lot about me and wanted me to stay in the relationship but when I put my foot down about him getting his act together. He took it as me abandoning him.

My question is. Does this mean he really never cared about me? Our relationship? He was telling everyone how horrible it was meanwhile I took care of him, did everything for him, bailed him out. He hated it bc of his macho card but was grateful, at the time, that I did. If he let this girl take the phone and say all those things to me. And he’s just laughing. This just means our decade long relationship was just a one big slap to my face right? How can he do this to someone he loved? And said he’ll always have a love for me (said this even after we broke up). How can he let her talk to me like that and not care at all.

Also I know the whole don’t hit up the ex he moved on speech. I reached out to someone I cared about for a large part of my life in a scary time. In this time of pandemic human to human were all caring about eachother. Strangers are concerned for eachother. Him laughing at the girl cursing me out. How can he be so cruel? To someone you cared about when you find out what they’re going through. How can you just not care about someone who was such a big part of eachothers lives?

TL;DR called my ex in desperate times new girl picked up and cursed me out and he let it happen.

Submitted March 17, 2020 at 12:05AM

I (27F) had to get emergency evacuated from my school overnight. It was 3 days of mass mayhem trying to get a flight out straight mosh pit of people lined up at airports. I didn’t get a flight for 3 days all my friends got picked in the lotto and I was alone feeling scared in this crazy time for 3 days. so I felt scared and desperate so I ended up calling my ex (dated him (28M)for almost 10 years we broke up a year and half ago but we still talked until this past June). Long story short behind our relationship is that basically I supported us financially and any other ways. We dated for so long that I needed him to show maturity and step up to the plate. Get a job, finish the last 3 semesters of school anything. I understand some of you may attack me for wanting to change someone but I loved him with all my heart I just wanted stability in our future. We’re almost 30. It’s time to move out and be real. Meanwhile I’m in med school finishing up and he was unemployed living at grandmas. Anyways I ended up breaking his heart he went into a depression. Drank a lot. Hit up all his exes. One of his past exes was still in love with him and basically broke up her engagement to be with him. He hooked up with her a month after we broke up. After 2 of his other exes denied hooking up with him. And all his friends told me that she’s the girl he always goes after when he’s in between girls.So that’s the background. In the middle of his chaos and trying to get home while borders are closing to the US. I call my ex bc I just wanted to hear a familiar voice in this scary time. She picks up. She goes off telling me how I’m just mad bc he used to say her name while he had sex with me (never happened), and I replied back saying lol wut.. listen I’m not trying to intervene or break u guys up you have all my blessings. I just wanted to talk to someone who was a big part of my life for 10 years during a scary time. She replies, in a shaky voice, oh yeah he told me he’s been thinking about me for 12 years. He’s my bf now. You mean nothing you’re disgusting. Meanwhile whole time she’s going off I hear him laughing in the back. Also during our 10 year relationship he never addressed me by anything not babe baby or even my name. It was always yo. And I always asked for him to call me baby, but he never did. And he’s not the type to lie. He used to be the nicest kindest person to anyone. He cared a lot about me and wanted me to stay in the relationship but when I put my foot down about him getting his act together. He took it as me abandoning him.My question is. Does this mean he really never cared about me? Our relationship? He was telling everyone how horrible it was meanwhile I took care of him, did everything for him, bailed him out. He hated it bc of his macho card but was grateful, at the time, that I did. If he let this girl take the phone and say all those things to me. And he’s just laughing. This just means our decade long relationship was just a one big slap to my face right? How can he do this to someone he loved? And said he’ll always have a love for me (said this even after we broke up). How can he let her talk to me like that and not care at all.Also I know the whole don’t hit up the ex he moved on speech. I reached out to someone I cared about for a large part of my life in a scary time. In this time of pandemic human to human were all caring about eachother. Strangers are concerned for eachother. Him laughing at the girl cursing me out. How can he be so cruel? To someone you cared about when you find out what they’re going through. How can you just not care about someone who was such a big part of eachothers lives?TL;DR called my ex in desperate times new girl picked up and cursed me out and he let it happen.