My (26 f) relationship (26 m) is breaking down due to COVID-19

My (26 f) boyfriend (26 m) have been together 3 years and were planning on moving in together abroad soon. Due to COVID-19 everything is now uncertain and we will lose a lot of money. On top of this I have been laid off for a couple of weeks. Understandably, we are both extremely stressed and upset.

I am the one who is mostly taking care of making phone calls, cancellations etc as my boyfriend just refuses to. I have been suggesting different things to get our mind off it - like go get exercise outside, get coffee together, have a few drinks etc but he refuses, says I stress him out and doesn’t want to see me or message me.

Over the past week he has been spending a lot of time with friends or by himself. One night he disappeared without telling me where he was for almost 24 hours and acted like it was no big deal. I was worried sick, thinking something could have happened to him. He acts like this whole situation is my fault and I’m a stressor.

I feel like in stressful situations a couple should come together and support each other, not the opposite. I feel completely abandoned by the person who is supposed to love me the most. Of course I have friends and I’ve been spending time with them, but it’s difficult when he’s not even willing to have a message conversation or even meet up to just watch a movie together. The couple of times we have briefly seen each other he acts angry and is snappy with anything I say.

Should I give him a pass because of the amount of stress we’re under? Or is he showing his true colours?

TL;DR: My (26f) boyfriend (26m) is choosing to ignore me during a time of stress. Should I give him a pass or is he showing his true colours?



Submitted March 16, 2020 at 11:59PM

My (26 f) boyfriend (26 m) have been together 3 years and were planning on moving in together abroad soon. Due to COVID-19 everything is now uncertain and we will lose a lot of money. On top of this I have been laid off for a couple of weeks. Understandably, we are both extremely stressed and upset.I am the one who is mostly taking care of making phone calls, cancellations etc as my boyfriend just refuses to. I have been suggesting different things to get our mind off it - like go get exercise outside, get coffee together, have a few drinks etc but he refuses, says I stress him out and doesn’t want to see me or message me.Over the past week he has been spending a lot of time with friends or by himself. One night he disappeared without telling me where he was for almost 24 hours and acted like it was no big deal. I was worried sick, thinking something could have happened to him. He acts like this whole situation is my fault and I’m a stressor.I feel like in stressful situations a couple should come together and support each other, not the opposite. I feel completely abandoned by the person who is supposed to love me the most. Of course I have friends and I’ve been spending time with them, but it’s difficult when he’s not even willing to have a message conversation or even meet up to just watch a movie together. The couple of times we have briefly seen each other he acts angry and is snappy with anything I say.Should I give him a pass because of the amount of stress we’re under? Or is he showing his true colours?TL;DR: My (26f) boyfriend (26m) is choosing to ignore me during a time of stress. Should I give him a pass or is he showing his true colours?
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