Why do my girl friend think that the guys should/must/is supposed to pay for everything?

F/28 Me and my bf are in LDR. In our relationship we share everything financially. If we do a holiday we split the costs of flights, trains or hotels and meals etc. Its pretty chill between us. My boyfriend is coming to town next week, also his home town. I had a rough few months with work and I was broke so I came to stay with his family for past few months until I stand up on my feet. Now that he is coming back I wanted to get a bnb for night stay so we could get some privacy. As with family around its impossible to get any quite moments.

My good friend manages an airbnb and I asked her to reserve for the night. She said she can make a discount I tried to negotiate that my budget was low but then I agreed to pay what she offered. We havent finalized anything yet.

My initial plan was to get the place and ask him to meet me there and decorate with candles and stuff and get some wine so we could be alone together for the night and have a date. And I wanted to do a little surprise without asking his input.

My girlfriend keeps saying if my budget is low I should just use his credit card and tell him I am doing a surprise etc. But I dont wanna ask him. I wanna offer.

She keeps saying, "The guy pays for everything" "He should pay for it" "As for me I'd never pay for the guy" "He should give you a treat"

I feel very suffocated hearing those words. I know my budget is low but I wanted to do something nice. But its making me feel disgusting how can anyone woman or man would such strongly say "THE MAN SHOULD PAY FOR IT ALL" I dont get this. The way I was raised I never felt it. I might make less money and compromise but I ll do my part.

What is the thinking process you all think goes behind the people's mind when they say it? Why can I not do something nice for my partner who I love and adore and loves me back just the same? Why can't a woman do something for her man?

Am I in confusion? I dont want to be friends with someone like that girl but I dont want anything drastic. I dont wanna argue with her. I just wanted to do something nice and get private time with my man.

What do you guys think? Who should pay for what?



Submitted January 18, 2020 at 11:59PM

F/28 Me and my bf are in LDR. In our relationship we share everything financially. If we do a holiday we split the costs of flights, trains or hotels and meals etc. Its pretty chill between us. My boyfriend is coming to town next week, also his home town. I had a rough few months with work and I was broke so I came to stay with his family for past few months until I stand up on my feet. Now that he is coming back I wanted to get a bnb for night stay so we could get some privacy. As with family around its impossible to get any quite moments.My good friend manages an airbnb and I asked her to reserve for the night. She said she can make a discount I tried to negotiate that my budget was low but then I agreed to pay what she offered. We havent finalized anything yet.My initial plan was to get the place and ask him to meet me there and decorate with candles and stuff and get some wine so we could be alone together for the night and have a date. And I wanted to do a little surprise without asking his input.My girlfriend keeps saying if my budget is low I should just use his credit card and tell him I am doing a surprise etc. But I dont wanna ask him. I wanna offer.She keeps saying, "The guy pays for everything" "He should pay for it" "As for me I'd never pay for the guy" "He should give you a treat"I feel very suffocated hearing those words. I know my budget is low but I wanted to do something nice. But its making me feel disgusting how can anyone woman or man would such strongly say "THE MAN SHOULD PAY FOR IT ALL" I dont get this. The way I was raised I never felt it. I might make less money and compromise but I ll do my part.What is the thinking process you all think goes behind the people's mind when they say it? Why can I not do something nice for my partner who I love and adore and loves me back just the same? Why can't a woman do something for her man?Am I in confusion? I dont want to be friends with someone like that girl but I dont want anything drastic. I dont wanna argue with her. I just wanted to do something nice and get private time with my man.What do you guys think? Who should pay for what?
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