Is it wrong that me and my gf don't talk about sex etc?

We've been official for 20 months, sexually active for about 3/4 of that, we were both awkward about sex at the start cause my gf is on the asexual spectrum and I'm a trans guy.

I know I'm my gfs first partner, sexual or otherwise, I've had a couple before but not much (we're only 20, anyways). We do sex stuff but we never really... talk about it? To me, that would just feel really really uncomfortable. It's always been consensual, in the moment theres always checking if we're okay etc and if not we stop, but that's not really "verbal"

I always see things online along the lines of "if you cant talk about having sex you're not ready to do it" etc so I'm in a place of feeling weird about it.. we talk about deep stuff and hard stuff sometimes but not really sex, apart from in a really bashful/roundabout way

I would like to maybe be able to communicate what I'd like a bit more, as I do more often than not focus on pleasuring her, is there any way to do that which isnt a "sit down and serious talk" thing?



Submitted January 31, 2020 at 11:38PM

We've been official for 20 months, sexually active for about 3/4 of that, we were both awkward about sex at the start cause my gf is on the asexual spectrum and I'm a trans guy.I know I'm my gfs first partner, sexual or otherwise, I've had a couple before but not much (we're only 20, anyways). We do sex stuff but we never really... talk about it? To me, that would just feel really really uncomfortable. It's always been consensual, in the moment theres always checking if we're okay etc and if not we stop, but that's not really "verbal"I always see things online along the lines of "if you cant talk about having sex you're not ready to do it" etc so I'm in a place of feeling weird about it.. we talk about deep stuff and hard stuff sometimes but not really sex, apart from in a really bashful/roundabout wayI would like to maybe be able to communicate what I'd like a bit more, as I do more often than not focus on pleasuring her, is there any way to do that which isnt a "sit down and serious talk" thing?
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