U N H E A L T Y.

Hi! It’s nice to tell you my story because it’s funny share what’s happened months ago, my life is in your hands now, you’re reading, you’re keeping me alive in your head, doesn’t sound funny have in your hands life of someone else? I’m just a girl, a teenager of 14 years old. A normal girl, with a boring life, I always wanted something...strange, I always liked strange things, like bones of animals, syringe, and needles. For this strange liking I didn’t have so much friends, to be honest, no friends. Someone have tried to be my friend because I think I’m pretty cute for others liking, blonde hair and blue eyes, but y’know, I’m not fan of be a Barbie, I was born with that look, I was a nerd I’m my point of view, but boys keeps flirt with me, and others girls gets really jealous because they was scared about the fact I was stealing they boyfriend, I wasn’t. I always wanted something “strange” even for friends and for a boyfriend, because when I made some friends the thought of strangulate them was on my mind, I didn’t want to kill them! It’s was just for the fact that I wanted to sew them, like dolls, play with them, talk to them, a puppet that can’t never hurt you, and still always your friend, but the fact that I have to try to sewn my dolls, they won’t talk back! So, for this compulsive thoughts I kept myself away form the world. I always use Larger clothes for cover my cuts, and bruises, I’m used to them. Every day was boring, my life was slowly turning in to a living hell : Let me explain, everyday, the most popular girl kept punch and beat me up, they always put glue on my chair, and more, and more, one time, Natasha have give to a bottle of water for the hour of Gym, I have drank that “water” it was bleach..that that it’s was ended to the hospital, my family was totally absent, my father wast all his money to some strange women and alcool, my mother is depressed and she is in a metal hospital, my father have warned if have tell something about his life he would take me to the mental hospital. I didn’t want to. The idea about kill myself was so bright, but I was totally scared, I wanted to someone to kill me, someone who wanted ME. Death or Alive. One day, a rainy day, the teacher have introduced a strange boy, that’s the first thing I have thought. I wanted to see his eyes, but unfortunately they where covered by his hair black messy hair. The way he talked was really annoyed, like the world was his playground. I was fascinated by that. When he looked up to look a little bit at the class, and our eyes met, I could see them better, they where a beautiful hazel eyes, When our eyes met, i felt a chill, and a strange feeling, he would be my destiny. Everything about him attracted me like some kinda of a Magnet. When the teacher introduced him to the class, he kept biting his lips, they were very dry, they had so many wounds, I felt sorry, they scolded him for a long time for the fact that he always had the hoodie on his head. When he took his hands out of his pockets to show his nails strangely blood- his right hand had burnt skin, but when he took it out he put it back in his pocket I think he was ashamed of it. One thing that made me love him was his smell, I know it might sound strange, but it always made me crazy to feel it, it's like he's there with me. He smelled of a strong moss smell, not even the shampoos I bought moss helped me satisfy the craving for him. He sat behind my desk, I felt constantly observed, the point is that it was not suggestion, Because the board and teacher were on the other side of the class. And he wasn't interested in studying, at the most he was doing was scribbling the paper, or biting the pen. He mistreated the professors, sometimes I thought he would beat them or even kill them. He created a bad reputation around him, many feared him, many admired him, I didn't care I just wanted to be with him. My deskmate, he took the pneumonia and my desk was empty so, he moved near me. No one had forced him. He sat down of his own accord, only to say, "Man, you're really pretty, but that look in your eyes makes you boring!" I was quite surprised, of his choice, he did what he wanted, so i think that even if they would have forced him he wouldn't sit down with someone he wouldn't want, he hadn't tried to make friends with anyone, The smell of moss was really strong and pleasant, I wanted to hold him in my arms, but I couldn't do it, I didn't want to be weird. He started looking at me during the lessons,he ask for many things, quite strange, he wanted to check everything, he looked at everything in my backpack, he looked at what I wrote, I drew, he controlled me. Out of the blue, she started touching my hair and playing with it while there was a question, or the teacher explained. Many times, he invited me to be with him, I accepted with pleasure, he was the best thing that had happened to me. One day the teacher had separated us, she asked me if I wanted to, he stresses my wrist, I do not know if he wanted to force me, or he was afraid that I would leave him, I said that I did not want to change place, he had started to scream like a madman threatening the teacher of absurd things , many times I was involved in his "madnesss"." My social life, changed many girls spoke badly behind my back, but I didn't care, I wanted to be with him. I would have given everything for him, even my life. One day the situation became strange: He was rather sad, he asked me a question "Will we remain friends forever even if you knew a bad thing about me?" I said yes, He said, "Do you swear it?" I swore. That afternoon, he made me walk down a highway leading directly to a forest, he held my hand, I walked a lot, showed me a place where I never went... We got to a forest, he suddenly stopped me. He told me everything. The fact that he had a strange idea, how he felt about killing someone, who really wanted to do it for a long time, how he satisfied his desire by venting about animals, the fact that he has his hand burned, is why he put it in the fryer to try Something... At this point he pointed his knife at my neck, he always carried with him, and he said to me in a rather sad tone "Aren't you afraid of me? Why don't you scream, don't you cry? Show me some emotion! He screamed at me with tears in his eyes, I think he had chosen me as a victim, I was fine with it. That's what I wanted. I said, "If I do, will you kill me? If I scream and cry, will you cut me, will you kill me? " He became restless, I think no one had ever begged him to do it, he passed the knife, brushing my neck, as if cutting it, I must admit: I liked it, he said to me, "How interesting can you find it interesting that I kill you? Do you like the idea of your neck being cut?" He was nervous, "I think it's interesting that what happens next, I have to admit: I always thought someone would kill me, that someone would want me. I don't care how you kill me, I just want you to leave my corpse to rot, and if you like, you can say you're that stupid little girl's killer."

He didn't understand, but then I told him "Go ahead" He didn't make it. He threw the knife on the ground and said "it's useless, you're already dead inside, there's no taste in killing you" He turned around, I don't know for the embarrassment, and the fact that he doesn't risk killing me. I picked up his knife, put it on his hand, said I wouldn't tell anything about what he was going to do that afternoon, and I would remain his friend. He said, we would remain friends, but he could not understand my desire to die, and how a person like me would do that for herself and then he would try to keep me alive, Because he would find a reason to move forward, he did not tell anything about what happens, he never used the knife again against of me, but rather for some of the laughs he did for my own cause, I hate this. I continue to love him with all my heart, I would have given them my life that afternoon without any problem, but I serve them alive. He's the best thing that's happened to me.

Submitted December 08, 2019 at 12:34AM

Hi! It’s nice to tell you my story because it’s funny share what’s happened months ago, my life is in your hands now, you’re reading, you’re keeping me alive in your head, doesn’t sound funny have in your hands life of someone else? I’m just a girl, a teenager of 14 years old. A normal girl, with a boring life, I always wanted something...strange, I always liked strange things, like bones of animals, syringe, and needles. For this strange liking I didn’t have so much friends, to be honest, no friends. Someone have tried to be my friend because I think I’m pretty cute for others liking, blonde hair and blue eyes, but y’know, I’m not fan of be a Barbie, I was born with that look, I was a nerd I’m my point of view, but boys keeps flirt with me, and others girls gets really jealous because they was scared about the fact I was stealing they boyfriend, I wasn’t. I always wanted something “strange” even for friends and for a boyfriend, because when I made some friends the thought of strangulate them was on my mind, I didn’t want to kill them! It’s was just for the fact that I wanted to sew them, like dolls, play with them, talk to them, a puppet that can’t never hurt you, and still always your friend, but the fact that I have to try to sewn my dolls, they won’t talk back! So, for this compulsive thoughts I kept myself away form the world. I always use Larger clothes for cover my cuts, and bruises, I’m used to them. Every day was boring, my life was slowly turning in to a living hell : Let me explain, everyday, the most popular girl kept punch and beat me up, they always put glue on my chair, and more, and more, one time, Natasha have give to a bottle of water for the hour of Gym, I have drank that “water” it was bleach..that that it’s was ended to the hospital, my family was totally absent, my father wast all his money to some strange women and alcool, my mother is depressed and she is in a metal hospital, my father have warned if have tell something about his life he would take me to the mental hospital. I didn’t want to. The idea about kill myself was so bright, but I was totally scared, I wanted to someone to kill me, someone who wanted ME. Death or Alive. One day, a rainy day, the teacher have introduced a strange boy, that’s the first thing I have thought. I wanted to see his eyes, but unfortunately they where covered by his hair black messy hair. The way he talked was really annoyed, like the world was his playground. I was fascinated by that. When he looked up to look a little bit at the class, and our eyes met, I could see them better, they where a beautiful hazel eyes, When our eyes met, i felt a chill, and a strange feeling, he would be my destiny. Everything about him attracted me like some kinda of a Magnet. When the teacher introduced him to the class, he kept biting his lips, they were very dry, they had so many wounds, I felt sorry, they scolded him for a long time for the fact that he always had the hoodie on his head. When he took his hands out of his pockets to show his nails strangely blood- his right hand had burnt skin, but when he took it out he put it back in his pocket I think he was ashamed of it. One thing that made me love him was his smell, I know it might sound strange, but it always made me crazy to feel it, it's like he's there with me. He smelled of a strong moss smell, not even the shampoos I bought moss helped me satisfy the craving for him. He sat behind my desk, I felt constantly observed, the point is that it was not suggestion, Because the board and teacher were on the other side of the class. And he wasn't interested in studying, at the most he was doing was scribbling the paper, or biting the pen. He mistreated the professors, sometimes I thought he would beat them or even kill them. He created a bad reputation around him, many feared him, many admired him, I didn't care I just wanted to be with him. My deskmate, he took the pneumonia and my desk was empty so, he moved near me. No one had forced him. He sat down of his own accord, only to say, "Man, you're really pretty, but that look in your eyes makes you boring!" I was quite surprised, of his choice, he did what he wanted, so i think that even if they would have forced him he wouldn't sit down with someone he wouldn't want, he hadn't tried to make friends with anyone, The smell of moss was really strong and pleasant, I wanted to hold him in my arms, but I couldn't do it, I didn't want to be weird. He started looking at me during the lessons,he ask for many things, quite strange, he wanted to check everything, he looked at everything in my backpack, he looked at what I wrote, I drew, he controlled me. Out of the blue, she started touching my hair and playing with it while there was a question, or the teacher explained. Many times, he invited me to be with him, I accepted with pleasure, he was the best thing that had happened to me. One day the teacher had separated us, she asked me if I wanted to, he stresses my wrist, I do not know if he wanted to force me, or he was afraid that I would leave him, I said that I did not want to change place, he had started to scream like a madman threatening the teacher of absurd things , many times I was involved in his "madnesss"." My social life, changed many girls spoke badly behind my back, but I didn't care, I wanted to be with him. I would have given everything for him, even my life. One day the situation became strange: He was rather sad, he asked me a question "Will we remain friends forever even if you knew a bad thing about me?" I said yes, He said, "Do you swear it?" I swore. That afternoon, he made me walk down a highway leading directly to a forest, he held my hand, I walked a lot, showed me a place where I never went... We got to a forest, he suddenly stopped me. He told me everything. The fact that he had a strange idea, how he felt about killing someone, who really wanted to do it for a long time, how he satisfied his desire by venting about animals, the fact that he has his hand burned, is why he put it in the fryer to try Something... At this point he pointed his knife at my neck, he always carried with him, and he said to me in a rather sad tone "Aren't you afraid of me? Why don't you scream, don't you cry? Show me some emotion! He screamed at me with tears in his eyes, I think he had chosen me as a victim, I was fine with it. That's what I wanted. I said, "If I do, will you kill me? If I scream and cry, will you cut me, will you kill me? " He became restless, I think no one had ever begged him to do it, he passed the knife, brushing my neck, as if cutting it, I must admit: I liked it, he said to me, "How interesting can you find it interesting that I kill you? Do you like the idea of your neck being cut?" He was nervous, "I think it's interesting that what happens next, I have to admit: I always thought someone would kill me, that someone would want me. I don't care how you kill me, I just want you to leave my corpse to rot, and if you like, you can say you're that stupid little girl's killer."He didn't understand, but then I told him "Go ahead" He didn't make it. He threw the knife on the ground and said "it's useless, you're already dead inside, there's no taste in killing you" He turned around, I don't know for the embarrassment, and the fact that he doesn't risk killing me. I picked up his knife, put it on his hand, said I wouldn't tell anything about what he was going to do that afternoon, and I would remain his friend. He said, we would remain friends, but he could not understand my desire to die, and how a person like me would do that for herself and then he would try to keep me alive, Because he would find a reason to move forward, he did not tell anything about what happens, he never used the knife again against of me, but rather for some of the laughs he did for my own cause, I hate this. I continue to love him with all my heart, I would have given them my life that afternoon without any problem, but I serve them alive. He's the best thing that's happened to me.