Texting causing troubles (Dating)

Texting games causing troubles.

So I’ve (M21) met this girl (19F) that I’m currently ”dating”. She’s completely unexperienced, I’m her first experience even when it comes to kissing. We’ve known each other for a while but only met 4 times outside work (we used to work together, how I met her) and every time we met it’s been amazing. She even wanted me to take her virginity last time we met and both agreed it was an awesome night.

But there are some problems, which mainly come from AFTER we meet. Our texting becomes very off. We’re used to snapchat a lot and it’s nothing special just bullshit and flirting which we both enjoy. She becomes somewhat distant after we meet ( although after last time we continued flirting, texting like usual etc).

As a person she’s quite insecure and generally shy, not that good social skills, she doesn’t have many friends at all and doesnt see them that often. She’s quite lonely. The first night we showed each other affection we talked about how long she’s been interested etc, and she said she’s always been. (when we worked together) But she thought I wouldn’t be interested in her and thought I was a ”fuckboy”, probably because I’m confident and she thinks I have high social status.

I have a theory that she’s overthinking a lot every time after we meet, so do I also, but there’s a lot that’s pointing towards it. She’s mentioned she has a lot of mood swings which makes her feel really down and depressed, and she’s also mentioned that (not every time) she’s been feeling that way days after we meet. That’s usually when our texting becomes off. (She doesnt mention it’s because we meet or even any relation to us seeing each other, but I’ve just picked up on it which I dont think is a coincidence.)

I try to reassure her by texting as usual and days after we’ve met things become normal again but she’s always been the one initiating conversations etc and been the one ”chasing”, which I don’t want to change. I like having the ”upper hand” and letting her come to me. Although it’s been more 35/65. But lately it seems she’s pulling back and letting me initiate conversations, sends short replies and I don’t want to become the one chasing, it’s not good I’ve heard.

I’m not sure what to do here? I know she likes me quite a lot, but I’m not sure she trusts me. It seems that we’re both stubborn and it’s making things worse for both of us. I think I should pull back a bit and let her start initiating like it’s always been, but I don’t want her to think I’m losing interest or something.

From another perspective one would think she’s losing interest but I really don’t think so. If it goes too long without me sending her a snapchat she’ll send me one eventually but there are no emojis, or not as usual but she’ll still contact me. I think she’s playing manipulating games which I’m not a fan of at all . What do you suggest I do? Or if you have any other ideas why it’s like this please let me know. Maybe from a female perspective?

Submitted December 22, 2019 at 12:11AM

Texting games causing troubles.So I’ve (M21) met this girl (19F) that I’m currently ”dating”. She’s completely unexperienced, I’m her first experience even when it comes to kissing. We’ve known each other for a while but only met 4 times outside work (we used to work together, how I met her) and every time we met it’s been amazing. She even wanted me to take her virginity last time we met and both agreed it was an awesome night.But there are some problems, which mainly come from AFTER we meet. Our texting becomes very off. We’re used to snapchat a lot and it’s nothing special just bullshit and flirting which we both enjoy. She becomes somewhat distant after we meet ( although after last time we continued flirting, texting like usual etc).As a person she’s quite insecure and generally shy, not that good social skills, she doesn’t have many friends at all and doesnt see them that often. She’s quite lonely. The first night we showed each other affection we talked about how long she’s been interested etc, and she said she’s always been. (when we worked together) But she thought I wouldn’t be interested in her and thought I was a ”fuckboy”, probably because I’m confident and she thinks I have high social status.I have a theory that she’s overthinking a lot every time after we meet, so do I also, but there’s a lot that’s pointing towards it. She’s mentioned she has a lot of mood swings which makes her feel really down and depressed, and she’s also mentioned that (not every time) she’s been feeling that way days after we meet. That’s usually when our texting becomes off. (She doesnt mention it’s because we meet or even any relation to us seeing each other, but I’ve just picked up on it which I dont think is a coincidence.)I try to reassure her by texting as usual and days after we’ve met things become normal again but she’s always been the one initiating conversations etc and been the one ”chasing”, which I don’t want to change. I like having the ”upper hand” and letting her come to me. Although it’s been more 35/65. But lately it seems she’s pulling back and letting me initiate conversations, sends short replies and I don’t want to become the one chasing, it’s not good I’ve heard.I’m not sure what to do here? I know she likes me quite a lot, but I’m not sure she trusts me. It seems that we’re both stubborn and it’s making things worse for both of us. I think I should pull back a bit and let her start initiating like it’s always been, but I don’t want her to think I’m losing interest or something.From another perspective one would think she’s losing interest but I really don’t think so. If it goes too long without me sending her a snapchat she’ll send me one eventually but there are no emojis, or not as usual but she’ll still contact me. I think she’s playing manipulating games which I’m not a fan of at all . What do you suggest I do? Or if you have any other ideas why it’s like this please let me know. Maybe from a female perspective?