Thoughts?

Okay so I dated a women for 10 months, I moved out of my place and moved in with her, I even gave up my dog for her as strata caught us. She got to keep hers... even after she told me if we got caught she’s get rid of hers, anyways this isn’t about that...

Flash forward to about 7-8 months in. We were having a bit of a rocky bit. She went to stay at her grandparents for the night. I got a weird feeling something was up. So I checked her old phone she had at the house that was logged into her accounts. And I found out she was hiding talking to her abusive ex behind my back, asking when he’s going to be in town, what’s new with him. Catching up and what not for 21 days. That I had no idea about. She even talked about her living situation and mentioned our roommate but not me.... yeah, fishy eh?? So long story short. I got mad. Called her out on it. She came rushing home. And we got into a fight. She swore he knew about me and such. So I said prove it. Call him right now and ask him if he knew about me. She did, “you know I’m with _____ right?” his response was “well now I know “ And she swore up and down she told him. I will say this. They did have a dog together. And I said I was fine at the 6 month marks. She could send updated photos of the dog to him. I’m not a controlling person. I did express I wasn’t comfortable with her talking to him within the first week of us getting together as he expressed he still loved her and what not. And it wasn’t healthy to start a new relationship with the way he was acting.

So anyways. I forgave her. And she made a giant apology. And than 2 months later when we were good. I purposed. She said yes.

Tha a month later we got in a bit of a fight. And split up for a week. I than had a friend reach out to me( my ex didn’t like her. And I stopped talking to her in the begging as it made her uncomfortable) But I’m single now. And I can talk to old friends right? Anyways. It was nothing sexual. Strictly a friendship it has always been, Sent a few messages back and forth. Nothing crazy. “ Than my girlfriend said she wanted to talk things out. So before going over. I deleted the chat as I knew no matter what. Shed flip about it. Even tho we were single and I was a free man in the sense to do as I please. Flash forward. We got back together. Than about another week goes by. She ends up going through my tablet. And doesn’t find anything. She asked. I did lie and say we talked but I didn’t know what happened to the convo, that was that. Than about two days later I told her. You know what. I deleted the convo because I didn’t want any fights as I knew no matter what. You’d freak out. She freaked. So I than messaged my friend and even got proof that me and her ave always been strictly friends and only friends. She even agreed and she also has a boyfriend. There was zero attraction to her. Just a friend.

In the end of all this we split. I’m moving out and what not.

I’m just wondering who’s in the wrong? Because she said she wasn’t cheating. And that I cheated because I hid that from her. When she hid stuff from me aswell?

Also I want to point out. I made amens with her and even took full responsibility for my actions. Said sorry the whole nine yards. In the end she took back her apology from what she did to me. And said it was friendly talk with her ex and she did nothing wrong.

What’s your thoughts?

Submitted November 28, 2019 at 11:23PM

Okay so I dated a women for 10 months, I moved out of my place and moved in with her, I even gave up my dog for her as strata caught us. She got to keep hers... even after she told me if we got caught she’s get rid of hers, anyways this isn’t about that...Flash forward to about 7-8 months in. We were having a bit of a rocky bit. She went to stay at her grandparents for the night. I got a weird feeling something was up. So I checked her old phone she had at the house that was logged into her accounts. And I found out she was hiding talking to her abusive ex behind my back, asking when he’s going to be in town, what’s new with him. Catching up and what not for 21 days. That I had no idea about. She even talked about her living situation and mentioned our roommate but not me.... yeah, fishy eh?? So long story short. I got mad. Called her out on it. She came rushing home. And we got into a fight. She swore he knew about me and such. So I said prove it. Call him right now and ask him if he knew about me. She did, “you know I’m with _____ right?” his response was “well now I know “ And she swore up and down she told him. I will say this. They did have a dog together. And I said I was fine at the 6 month marks. She could send updated photos of the dog to him. I’m not a controlling person. I did express I wasn’t comfortable with her talking to him within the first week of us getting together as he expressed he still loved her and what not. And it wasn’t healthy to start a new relationship with the way he was acting.So anyways. I forgave her. And she made a giant apology. And than 2 months later when we were good. I purposed. She said yes.Tha a month later we got in a bit of a fight. And split up for a week. I than had a friend reach out to me( my ex didn’t like her. And I stopped talking to her in the begging as it made her uncomfortable) But I’m single now. And I can talk to old friends right? Anyways. It was nothing sexual. Strictly a friendship it has always been, Sent a few messages back and forth. Nothing crazy. “ Than my girlfriend said she wanted to talk things out. So before going over. I deleted the chat as I knew no matter what. Shed flip about it. Even tho we were single and I was a free man in the sense to do as I please. Flash forward. We got back together. Than about another week goes by. She ends up going through my tablet. And doesn’t find anything. She asked. I did lie and say we talked but I didn’t know what happened to the convo, that was that. Than about two days later I told her. You know what. I deleted the convo because I didn’t want any fights as I knew no matter what. You’d freak out. She freaked. So I than messaged my friend and even got proof that me and her ave always been strictly friends and only friends. She even agreed and she also has a boyfriend. There was zero attraction to her. Just a friend.In the end of all this we split. I’m moving out and what not.I’m just wondering who’s in the wrong? Because she said she wasn’t cheating. And that I cheated because I hid that from her. When she hid stuff from me aswell?Also I want to point out. I made amens with her and even took full responsibility for my actions. Said sorry the whole nine yards. In the end she took back her apology from what she did to me. And said it was friendly talk with her ex and she did nothing wrong.What’s your thoughts?