He [28M] told me [28F] he has herpes after I gave him oral?

I recently started dating someone I've known for awhile. We've been taking things slowly and have yet to have sex, but have done everything but, including oral. This has been going on for about 2 months. Yesterday, he tells me he has herpes, and he has known for several weeks, but that he is on an antibiotic and asymptomatic. I freak out a bit, and am pretty pissed he waited to tell me after having oral, but am grateful he told me before we had proper sex. He apologized for not telling me sooner, but he was embarrassed and told himself it wasn't a huge deal since he was on pills and never had symptoms. He's given me some space to process things. I don't really know how to think or feel about this. It's the not telling me part that has me most upset. I've known this man for awhile, and may even love him, and it seems really out of character for him to lie, but now I'm worried that if he could keep that a secret, what else is he hiding from me? Is this something I can move forward with him from and ever trust him? How bad is it that I sort of want to forgive him

tldr: partner told me he has herpes, after sexual contact. Can I trust him?



Submitted November 28, 2019 at 11:40PM

I recently started dating someone I've known for awhile. We've been taking things slowly and have yet to have sex, but have done everything but, including oral. This has been going on for about 2 months. Yesterday, he tells me he has herpes, and he has known for several weeks, but that he is on an antibiotic and asymptomatic. I freak out a bit, and am pretty pissed he waited to tell me after having oral, but am grateful he told me before we had proper sex. He apologized for not telling me sooner, but he was embarrassed and told himself it wasn't a huge deal since he was on pills and never had symptoms. He's given me some space to process things. I don't really know how to think or feel about this. It's the not telling me part that has me most upset. I've known this man for awhile, and may even love him, and it seems really out of character for him to lie, but now I'm worried that if he could keep that a secret, what else is he hiding from me? Is this something I can move forward with him from and ever trust him? How bad is it that I sort of want to forgive himtldr: partner told me he has herpes, after sexual contact. Can I trust him?
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