Socially awkward and confused

I haven't dated someone in person in 5 years and even my first relationship was awkward and ended poorly (that wa sin highschool and I'm in uni now). So basically, my social experience is somewhat poor when it comes to trying to get to know a girl and potentially ask her out on a date.

So basically I met this girl 3 weeks ago or so, we joked a bit during a social. When we were about to leave she came up and introduced her self and we got to know each other more while walking out. A couple of days later asked if she ever been to this restaurant and she said no. Then asked me if I wanted to go there which was followed up by them saying they would be all for that place. So a little later I asked her to go there with me, ended up asking if she wanted to see a movie too before grabbing dinner there which she had no objection too. So we hung out together just ourselves a week after meeting each other. I don't know if I could call this a date or just two friends hanging out together. I honestly had a great time personally and she seemed to somewhat enjoy it or atleast I hope she did. I told her about this one place someone I know owns before everything, on the way home she made an off comment while I was telling her about what my family does and said how we should go check the place out sometime which I agreed too. 2 weeks later or so, nothing was really brought up so I made a side comment to see if she wanted to go to that place after midterms, she said sure.

So my problem here is that, when I first met her, I had a feeling she might be slightly into me, but then think she was just being nice. Yet as time goes by, she would make these off comments where she really does seem interested and want to do more together like jokingly saying how she will make me go eat with her after clubs (said this once one day right before we hanged out). Yet there are times where she doesn't seem interested at all (could be because she is busy with her own classes, but yea). She never really messages me first and I would usually message her in order to try getting a conversation going. If I don't text her, I don't think I'd really get a message. There was only one occasion where she messaged me first looking for me because I guess she didn't see me at one of the uni's clubs. I made a playful flirty remark, but it was totally ignored and the conversation just continued like normal.

I just want to talk to her more and get to know her, but I honestly don't know how without seeming like an eager beaver. I'm someone who gets really anxious about things like this and overthink a lot. I know I should just go about things normally, but my mind still runs a mile a minute. My depression acting up recently isn't helping with my anxiety or overthinking either. Honestly think if I had the ability to read minds or emotions then I wouldn't have to be so anxious because then I'll know if I'm really just thinking too much or not...

Should I bring things up again at the end of this week and see if she still wants to hang out, wait to see if she brings it up and then ask, or just not bother? Also I don't want to let things end at just two friends hanging out, so I was wondering when is a good time to actually ask someone out on a date rather than simply hanging out as friends? It's so much easier as a by stander to see what is going on, but when being the one in the middle of it all is hard... I'm also working hard on losing weight, but I won't get down to where I want for at least 6 more months, maybe I should just wait until I gain confidence in myself after losing the weight?... I personally don't think I look bad as I am now, but I could lose a few pounds.

Submitted November 06, 2019 at 11:41PM

I haven't dated someone in person in 5 years and even my first relationship was awkward and ended poorly (that wa sin highschool and I'm in uni now). So basically, my social experience is somewhat poor when it comes to trying to get to know a girl and potentially ask her out on a date.So basically I met this girl 3 weeks ago or so, we joked a bit during a social. When we were about to leave she came up and introduced her self and we got to know each other more while walking out. A couple of days later asked if she ever been to this restaurant and she said no. Then asked me if I wanted to go there which was followed up by them saying they would be all for that place. So a little later I asked her to go there with me, ended up asking if she wanted to see a movie too before grabbing dinner there which she had no objection too. So we hung out together just ourselves a week after meeting each other. I don't know if I could call this a date or just two friends hanging out together. I honestly had a great time personally and she seemed to somewhat enjoy it or atleast I hope she did. I told her about this one place someone I know owns before everything, on the way home she made an off comment while I was telling her about what my family does and said how we should go check the place out sometime which I agreed too. 2 weeks later or so, nothing was really brought up so I made a side comment to see if she wanted to go to that place after midterms, she said sure.So my problem here is that, when I first met her, I had a feeling she might be slightly into me, but then think she was just being nice. Yet as time goes by, she would make these off comments where she really does seem interested and want to do more together like jokingly saying how she will make me go eat with her after clubs (said this once one day right before we hanged out). Yet there are times where she doesn't seem interested at all (could be because she is busy with her own classes, but yea). She never really messages me first and I would usually message her in order to try getting a conversation going. If I don't text her, I don't think I'd really get a message. There was only one occasion where she messaged me first looking for me because I guess she didn't see me at one of the uni's clubs. I made a playful flirty remark, but it was totally ignored and the conversation just continued like normal.I just want to talk to her more and get to know her, but I honestly don't know how without seeming like an eager beaver. I'm someone who gets really anxious about things like this and overthink a lot. I know I should just go about things normally, but my mind still runs a mile a minute. My depression acting up recently isn't helping with my anxiety or overthinking either. Honestly think if I had the ability to read minds or emotions then I wouldn't have to be so anxious because then I'll know if I'm really just thinking too much or not...Should I bring things up again at the end of this week and see if she still wants to hang out, wait to see if she brings it up and then ask, or just not bother? Also I don't want to let things end at just two friends hanging out, so I was wondering when is a good time to actually ask someone out on a date rather than simply hanging out as friends? It's so much easier as a by stander to see what is going on, but when being the one in the middle of it all is hard... I'm also working hard on losing weight, but I won't get down to where I want for at least 6 more months, maybe I should just wait until I gain confidence in myself after losing the weight?... I personally don't think I look bad as I am now, but I could lose a few pounds.