I love her but I had to blow her off, am I crazy?

This girl [24F] and I [24M] dated a couple of months ago. We did a lot of things wrong, like going too fast, not communicating properly, among others. We really liked each other massively, but she was terrified that we were falling into a relationship pattern that she believes always ends in heartbreak and she didn’t that to happen. We stopped being sexual but we kept dating, but I noticed that as time went on she’d pull back more and more.

I’ve noticed that she still likes me so much, but she feels uncomfortable with anything relationship-like, and thus she’s wanted to date less often. I don’t want to go out with her if she’s not into it, so I stopped, but then she’d seek me out again, but instead of going on dates she’d try to make it a friends outing.

So what happened is this. Last night we were hanging out with fiends and near the end I asked her out to a jazz event today and she said yes. This morning she said “I’m very tired, would you rather hang out at my place?”. A couple times now she’s pulled that off and when I get there her friends are there. So I straight up asked “Sounds good, but do you mean just us two or with your friends?”. She asked “What would you prefer”, and I said obviously just us, but that she could tell me if she wanted to see her friends, to which she replied “They’re already at my place. Last night was super fun!”. So I don’t really understand why she asked what I preferred in the first place. Anyways, I just told her “I really want to go to that jazz event, but don’t worry you guys have fun and rest well! Let’s do it another time” and she never replied. She always replies in a couple mins and it’s been 3 hours now. I guess she won’t.

Did I do anything wrong? Could I have done something better?

I’m thinking of just focus on myself for now and let her figure out her stuff. I’m not going to seek her out until she does. What do you think?

Update: She just replied “Ok enjoy”. Doesn’t change much but thought I’d update.



Submitted November 06, 2019 at 11:21PM

This girl [24F] and I [24M] dated a couple of months ago. We did a lot of things wrong, like going too fast, not communicating properly, among others. We really liked each other massively, but she was terrified that we were falling into a relationship pattern that she believes always ends in heartbreak and she didn’t that to happen. We stopped being sexual but we kept dating, but I noticed that as time went on she’d pull back more and more.I’ve noticed that she still likes me so much, but she feels uncomfortable with anything relationship-like, and thus she’s wanted to date less often. I don’t want to go out with her if she’s not into it, so I stopped, but then she’d seek me out again, but instead of going on dates she’d try to make it a friends outing.So what happened is this. Last night we were hanging out with fiends and near the end I asked her out to a jazz event today and she said yes. This morning she said “I’m very tired, would you rather hang out at my place?”. A couple times now she’s pulled that off and when I get there her friends are there. So I straight up asked “Sounds good, but do you mean just us two or with your friends?”. She asked “What would you prefer”, and I said obviously just us, but that she could tell me if she wanted to see her friends, to which she replied “They’re already at my place. Last night was super fun!”. So I don’t really understand why she asked what I preferred in the first place. Anyways, I just told her “I really want to go to that jazz event, but don’t worry you guys have fun and rest well! Let’s do it another time” and she never replied. She always replies in a couple mins and it’s been 3 hours now. I guess she won’t.Did I do anything wrong? Could I have done something better?I’m thinking of just focus on myself for now and let her figure out her stuff. I’m not going to seek her out until she does. What do you think?Update: She just replied “Ok enjoy”. Doesn’t change much but thought I’d update.
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