Marriage is NOT 100/100

Sorry if this has been said before however, I keep seeing this “marriage is 100/100” and I just feel like it gives the wrong idea. Basically what it’s saying is in a marriage you have to give 100% of yourself, that things aren’t supposed to be divided up equally. I agree with this is some regard because I don’t believe things in a marriage should just be divided in a way where each person is doing an “equal” part.

That being said no person can give 100% of themselves 100% of the time. I think you should try but at some point you or your spouse will fall short. If you’re the spouse who has been giving it their all and is now faced with a person who just can’t then this can lead to resentments, anger, frustration, and just a lot of negative emotions.

Marriage needs to be two people who do their best to give 100% but know that when they eventually do fall short the other person will be there to pick up the slack.

That isn’t to say that one person should be doing more all the time. It’s a give and take and each relationship is different. It’s important to understand the expectations your partner has in a marriage and what things require more effort. It may be nothing for you to get up and turn the lights out at night but it could be something your partner absolutely hates doing.

Once you understand how even small things matter then you can better understand how to be there for your spouse and they can better understand how to be there for you.

Edit for clarification: Stop thinking in percentages and just be there for each other as much as you’re able.

Submitted November 20, 2019 at 11:02PM

Sorry if this has been said before however, I keep seeing this “marriage is 100/100” and I just feel like it gives the wrong idea. Basically what it’s saying is in a marriage you have to give 100% of yourself, that things aren’t supposed to be divided up equally. I agree with this is some regard because I don’t believe things in a marriage should just be divided in a way where each person is doing an “equal” part.That being said no person can give 100% of themselves 100% of the time. I think you should try but at some point you or your spouse will fall short. If you’re the spouse who has been giving it their all and is now faced with a person who just can’t then this can lead to resentments, anger, frustration, and just a lot of negative emotions.Marriage needs to be two people who do their best to give 100% but know that when they eventually do fall short the other person will be there to pick up the slack.That isn’t to say that one person should be doing more all the time. It’s a give and take and each relationship is different. It’s important to understand the expectations your partner has in a marriage and what things require more effort. It may be nothing for you to get up and turn the lights out at night but it could be something your partner absolutely hates doing.Once you understand how even small things matter then you can better understand how to be there for your spouse and they can better understand how to be there for you.Edit for clarification: Stop thinking in percentages and just be there for each other as much as you’re able.