I Feel Like Giving Up Completely...

For many years I felt I'm just ugly/average and will never be interesting enough to ever get a girlfriend. I just don't seem charismatic enough and I don't believe that I'm good looking like other guys. I know it seems negative to compare myself to other people but this has been in my mind every day for so long. Every. Day.

I finished school this year and near the end of the year some girls told me apparently that a few girls they know actually find me attractive. I was extremely surprised since I always assume no one (at the time) thought I was attractive since I didn't really catch any common psychological clues.

But one time I decided to text a girl who followed me for a year who goes to the same school on IG and I thought she was really extremely pretty. Well, I decided to be brave for once and just say "fuck it". "I'm gonna randomly text her and say that I think she's really pretty". And so since I had her on Snapchat for a few days I decided to text her there. My heart was pounding hard when I immediately sent the text. About an hour or two later I see the "typing" notification and I constantly think she'd say something negative or be awkward about my text. She replied saying thank you and she thought you that I was so good-looking too. I was like whaaaaat how?

We texted eachother for 6 hours straight that night. Yeah you read that right. 6 hours. We realised we had sooo much in common like damn it was unbelievable! I've always wondered if I'd ever find someone that has a lot in common with me and I thought that just happens in movies haha. But we had a lot in common in music especially and we then just talked about the most random topics. Well, time went by, we texted almost every day. We mostly just said hi in the hallways since we had different lunch times and could barely meet up. We only hung out once, it was fantastic. I found myself deeply in love. The day I wanted to see if we could hang out, she said she got a boyfriend and that she didnt wanna lead me on. I shrugged it off and said that I'm alright with being friends. A few days later it absolutely destroyed me emotionally. I just couldn't function and study and constantly kept thinking about the past. We continued talking but less but I haven't talked to her since May.

After that I tried getting to know girls who have mutual friends and such but I either just get left on seen for no reason, they got a bf or simply aren't interested no matter how kind I seem to be with my conversational skills improving.

I've really just accepted the fact that I really won't find anyone at all and I might as well just focus on living an accomplished dream instead of wasting time on daydreaming about romance and the past which is hard to do.

Is my way of thinking wrong or am I just having bad luck?



Submitted November 26, 2019 at 11:31PM

For many years I felt I'm just ugly/average and will never be interesting enough to ever get a girlfriend. I just don't seem charismatic enough and I don't believe that I'm good looking like other guys. I know it seems negative to compare myself to other people but this has been in my mind every day for so long. Every. Day.I finished school this year and near the end of the year some girls told me apparently that a few girls they know actually find me attractive. I was extremely surprised since I always assume no one (at the time) thought I was attractive since I didn't really catch any common psychological clues.But one time I decided to text a girl who followed me for a year who goes to the same school on IG and I thought she was really extremely pretty. Well, I decided to be brave for once and just say "fuck it". "I'm gonna randomly text her and say that I think she's really pretty". And so since I had her on Snapchat for a few days I decided to text her there. My heart was pounding hard when I immediately sent the text. About an hour or two later I see the "typing" notification and I constantly think she'd say something negative or be awkward about my text. She replied saying thank you and she thought you that I was so good-looking too. I was like whaaaaat how?We texted eachother for 6 hours straight that night. Yeah you read that right. 6 hours. We realised we had sooo much in common like damn it was unbelievable! I've always wondered if I'd ever find someone that has a lot in common with me and I thought that just happens in movies haha. But we had a lot in common in music especially and we then just talked about the most random topics. Well, time went by, we texted almost every day. We mostly just said hi in the hallways since we had different lunch times and could barely meet up. We only hung out once, it was fantastic. I found myself deeply in love. The day I wanted to see if we could hang out, she said she got a boyfriend and that she didnt wanna lead me on. I shrugged it off and said that I'm alright with being friends. A few days later it absolutely destroyed me emotionally. I just couldn't function and study and constantly kept thinking about the past. We continued talking but less but I haven't talked to her since May.After that I tried getting to know girls who have mutual friends and such but I either just get left on seen for no reason, they got a bf or simply aren't interested no matter how kind I seem to be with my conversational skills improving.I've really just accepted the fact that I really won't find anyone at all and I might as well just focus on living an accomplished dream instead of wasting time on daydreaming about romance and the past which is hard to do.Is my way of thinking wrong or am I just having bad luck?
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