I [23 F] went on a second date with a guy [25 M] from Bumble who had previously rejected me. Is he just not that interested?

So a couple months ago, I went on a date with a guy from Bumble that was a little awkward, but we ended up making out in my car by the end of the date. He texted saying he had fun, but then turned me down when I asked if he'd be interested in meeting again, saying he didn't know what he was looking for and that he felt the connection lacked a little bit. So I tried with a few other guys but eventually took a little break from dating.

Well, last week I redownloaded the app and we unexpectedly matched again. He explained that he didn't know what he was looking for, and wasn't really ready for a relationship, so he rejected me because he assumed I was the type to only want a serious relationship and didn't want to waste my time. I told him that that wasn't necessarily true and I'd be willing to give the casual arrangement a try.

So a couple days ago we went on another date, and overall I thought it went better than the first date, though a few interesting things happened. This time we got some lunch downtown. When we were done eating and he was walking me back to my car, he asked if I wanted to make out, and we got in my car again (I joked it was like deja vu) and tried to find a place to park that was more private. I asked about his place (since it was only a 10-ish minute drive away) and he said something about how there were too many people at his place now and it'd be better for next time (which I thought was a little weird). So okay, we find an empty parking lot near a park and head to the backseat - making out and touching for about an hour, but nowhere close to sex (we never got undressed at all) until a police car drives up beside us - we don't get in trouble but they kind of give us a scare, and put our time to a halt. I abruptly drove him back to his car, we said goodbye and vaguely mentioned seeing each other again but noted that both our Thanksgiving plans might make things a little difficult. Though he did say "happy Thanksgiving, if I don't see you before then" when he left, and it also seemed like we both had fun, so I thought he'd be interested in meeting again eventually.

Right after our date he texted me: "I feel bad that happened to ya haha" and I said "haha could have been worse I suppose. Also thanks for the food by the way" and he said "Yeah, they could have been meaner. And my pleasure!" and we didn't text again that night. Then the next morning, I said, "haha despite all that happened I still thought yesterday was pretty fun" and he just said "glad you think so :)" and not only did his way of wording that seem a little strange, but it's been a couple days and we haven't texted since then.

At this point should I just write him off as not that interested, even for something that's just casual? I know this is a casual thing so people don't text much in between meetups, but I found it strange that he wanted to go on another date, make out, but didn't seem to make any moves towards sex (esp. since that's what it seemed he wanted when he said "something casual"). I was wondering if I should text him asking what he thought about the date, or asking if he'd want to hang out again this weekend, just to close the books on this one, wait for him to text, or if I should just delete his number at this point. Any thoughts?

Also, yes, I know I seem a little too concerned about this for just a casual thing, but I'm pretty new to dating so I just want to make sure I didn't do anything wrong here.

TL;DR: went on a second date with a Bumble guy who had previously rejected me because he wanted something casual and it seemed to him we weren't on the same page. I said I could give it another shot and try something casual with him. We end up making out on the date, but no sex, and only vague plans about meeting again or actually having it lead to sex. Is he just not that interested in me, even for a casual arrangement?

Submitted November 26, 2019 at 11:26PM

So a couple months ago, I went on a date with a guy from Bumble that was a little awkward, but we ended up making out in my car by the end of the date. He texted saying he had fun, but then turned me down when I asked if he'd be interested in meeting again, saying he didn't know what he was looking for and that he felt the connection lacked a little bit. So I tried with a few other guys but eventually took a little break from dating.Well, last week I redownloaded the app and we unexpectedly matched again. He explained that he didn't know what he was looking for, and wasn't really ready for a relationship, so he rejected me because he assumed I was the type to only want a serious relationship and didn't want to waste my time. I told him that that wasn't necessarily true and I'd be willing to give the casual arrangement a try.So a couple days ago we went on another date, and overall I thought it went better than the first date, though a few interesting things happened. This time we got some lunch downtown. When we were done eating and he was walking me back to my car, he asked if I wanted to make out, and we got in my car again (I joked it was like deja vu) and tried to find a place to park that was more private. I asked about his place (since it was only a 10-ish minute drive away) and he said something about how there were too many people at his place now and it'd be better for next time (which I thought was a little weird). So okay, we find an empty parking lot near a park and head to the backseat - making out and touching for about an hour, but nowhere close to sex (we never got undressed at all) until a police car drives up beside us - we don't get in trouble but they kind of give us a scare, and put our time to a halt. I abruptly drove him back to his car, we said goodbye and vaguely mentioned seeing each other again but noted that both our Thanksgiving plans might make things a little difficult. Though he did say "happy Thanksgiving, if I don't see you before then" when he left, and it also seemed like we both had fun, so I thought he'd be interested in meeting again eventually.Right after our date he texted me: "I feel bad that happened to ya haha" and I said "haha could have been worse I suppose. Also thanks for the food by the way" and he said "Yeah, they could have been meaner. And my pleasure!" and we didn't text again that night. Then the next morning, I said, "haha despite all that happened I still thought yesterday was pretty fun" and he just said "glad you think so :)" and not only did his way of wording that seem a little strange, but it's been a couple days and we haven't texted since then.At this point should I just write him off as not that interested, even for something that's just casual? I know this is a casual thing so people don't text much in between meetups, but I found it strange that he wanted to go on another date, make out, but didn't seem to make any moves towards sex (esp. since that's what it seemed he wanted when he said "something casual"). I was wondering if I should text him asking what he thought about the date, or asking if he'd want to hang out again this weekend, just to close the books on this one, wait for him to text, or if I should just delete his number at this point. Any thoughts?Also, yes, I know I seem a little too concerned about this for just a casual thing, but I'm pretty new to dating so I just want to make sure I didn't do anything wrong here.TL;DR: went on a second date with a Bumble guy who had previously rejected me because he wanted something casual and it seemed to him we weren't on the same page. I said I could give it another shot and try something casual with him. We end up making out on the date, but no sex, and only vague plans about meeting again or actually having it lead to sex. Is he just not that interested in me, even for a casual arrangement?