My GF (25F) adopted a dog after I (28M) said our house hold and definitely myself wasn’t ready for another dog.

Hi all. Been with my girlfriend for 6 years, we’ve ring shopped a bit and both want to get married. We recently moved across the country so she could pursue her PHD. I left a job back home that would’ve yielded a 6 figure salary by 2025 and was truly happy at. We’ve been at our new location for a year, and I hate it here. Completely different dynamic, yadda yadda. Anyways, my new job has recently paid me a bonus and back pay resulting in being well off for my age. We started looking at rings, moved to a nicer apartment (I paid the last 3 months at our old place, and first month and deposit at the new place) but work demands a ton, and my hours are hectic. My GF and I would ride our bikes to dog adoption events just to go see some dogs. A few years ago I secretly adopted our dog that she wanted while she was at work, and surprised her when she got home. After the last time we went to this adoption place, I had to tell her no to adopting a new dog. I work too much, she spends a ton of time in school and studying, and we are all trying to adapt to this new apartment( including our first dog, a malinois mix). My gf the started talking about getting another dog, this time a pure bred malinois puppy, something we DEFINITELY don’t have the time, energy, or space to give a good home to. I said no and explained why, and all the family agreed. Well, a few weeks ago she asks if I’d be ok with going and seeing dogs. I say “yea sure, but we don’t have time for a new dog right now so I don’t want you to get your hopes up.” This led to meeting a puppy that she fell in love with, and while dealing with a work crisis, made me feel a bit manipulated. I finally gave up and just said “just go get the dog”. She said I wouldn’t have to deal with it because “she’s always home” which is obviously BS, a puppy isn’t a one person thing. Our apartment is BRAND new and he keeps peeing everywhere (part of having a puppy) and he won’t leave our malinois mix alone, and almost feel the worst for her because she’s such a sweetheart. The adoption obviously has negatively affected our already strained relationship (I work too much, no ring yet, my depression in this new state has “affected the household and she just wants something happy to come home to. I feel like shit, but I feel like a new puppy is making our life harder than it already needed to be. I feel resented, and our first dog is feeling it too. I don’t know how to proceed. I feel like the relationship is already damaged heavily by this, and telling her to give the dog back will also damage things.

TLDR; My almost fiancé got a puppy when we barely have time for our first dog, and made me feel like shit for not being ready for said puppy.

My goodness, I apologize in advance for such a long post.

Submitted October 13, 2019 at 12:05AM

Hi all. Been with my girlfriend for 6 years, we’ve ring shopped a bit and both want to get married. We recently moved across the country so she could pursue her PHD. I left a job back home that would’ve yielded a 6 figure salary by 2025 and was truly happy at. We’ve been at our new location for a year, and I hate it here. Completely different dynamic, yadda yadda. Anyways, my new job has recently paid me a bonus and back pay resulting in being well off for my age. We started looking at rings, moved to a nicer apartment (I paid the last 3 months at our old place, and first month and deposit at the new place) but work demands a ton, and my hours are hectic. My GF and I would ride our bikes to dog adoption events just to go see some dogs. A few years ago I secretly adopted our dog that she wanted while she was at work, and surprised her when she got home. After the last time we went to this adoption place, I had to tell her no to adopting a new dog. I work too much, she spends a ton of time in school and studying, and we are all trying to adapt to this new apartment( including our first dog, a malinois mix). My gf the started talking about getting another dog, this time a pure bred malinois puppy, something we DEFINITELY don’t have the time, energy, or space to give a good home to. I said no and explained why, and all the family agreed. Well, a few weeks ago she asks if I’d be ok with going and seeing dogs. I say “yea sure, but we don’t have time for a new dog right now so I don’t want you to get your hopes up.” This led to meeting a puppy that she fell in love with, and while dealing with a work crisis, made me feel a bit manipulated. I finally gave up and just said “just go get the dog”. She said I wouldn’t have to deal with it because “she’s always home” which is obviously BS, a puppy isn’t a one person thing. Our apartment is BRAND new and he keeps peeing everywhere (part of having a puppy) and he won’t leave our malinois mix alone, and almost feel the worst for her because she’s such a sweetheart. The adoption obviously has negatively affected our already strained relationship (I work too much, no ring yet, my depression in this new state has “affected the household and she just wants something happy to come home to. I feel like shit, but I feel like a new puppy is making our life harder than it already needed to be. I feel resented, and our first dog is feeling it too. I don’t know how to proceed. I feel like the relationship is already damaged heavily by this, and telling her to give the dog back will also damage things.TLDR; My almost fiancé got a puppy when we barely have time for our first dog, and made me feel like shit for not being ready for said puppy.My goodness, I apologize in advance for such a long post.