I (27M) think my gf(28f) of 9.5 months has undiagnosed BPD and it's getting to be unbearable

I come from a family that takes mental health very seriously. I have a diagnosed condiction for which I am medicated and attend therapy for. My sister, mother and father, same deal. My whole life I have heard about different mental health treatments and therapies and had the gamut of tests performed on me. Well a few months ago at my therapists office I stumbled upon a pamphlet outlining care for an individual with BPD and my heart fell to my stomach. It's outlined a good chunk of my girlfriends behavior to the letter. The mood swings the suicidal thoughts the self medication and self destructive behavior. All of it. She says shes always been a "wild child" shes "just difficult" shes a "gypsy soul" and likes spontaneity. All I see is impulsiveness. Shes struggled with addiction and I'm convinced shes hiding either a drug or drinking problem from me now. Shes moved over 40 times, because she loves new "adventures" She ignores her phone for hours at a time, says she hates feeling tied to technology I just see selfish, flippant behavior. She goes on tirades and can be extremely hurtful to anyone around her, and her internal dialogue is particularly...awful.

Despite my urgings, she wont go talk to someone. She wont go to any support meetings or meetups yet she always complains of being lonely and alone. She doesnt want treatment for anything because she doesnt believe anything is wrong, but I'm positive there is. My question is how can I approach this situation in a way that will show her I love and care for her, but I also really think shes gotta talk to someone at the very least. Shes the love of my life, I'm convinced, but she cant expect to achieve her goals if she keeps attacking everyone around her pushing loved ones away.

TL:DR my girlfriend has some kind of mental disorder (I'm pretty sure its BPD) but she wont talk to anyone or seek out help. How can I get her the help she needs?



Submitted October 12, 2019 at 11:56PM

I come from a family that takes mental health very seriously. I have a diagnosed condiction for which I am medicated and attend therapy for. My sister, mother and father, same deal. My whole life I have heard about different mental health treatments and therapies and had the gamut of tests performed on me. Well a few months ago at my therapists office I stumbled upon a pamphlet outlining care for an individual with BPD and my heart fell to my stomach. It's outlined a good chunk of my girlfriends behavior to the letter. The mood swings the suicidal thoughts the self medication and self destructive behavior. All of it. She says shes always been a "wild child" shes "just difficult" shes a "gypsy soul" and likes spontaneity. All I see is impulsiveness. Shes struggled with addiction and I'm convinced shes hiding either a drug or drinking problem from me now. Shes moved over 40 times, because she loves new "adventures" She ignores her phone for hours at a time, says she hates feeling tied to technology I just see selfish, flippant behavior. She goes on tirades and can be extremely hurtful to anyone around her, and her internal dialogue is particularly...awful.Despite my urgings, she wont go talk to someone. She wont go to any support meetings or meetups yet she always complains of being lonely and alone. She doesnt want treatment for anything because she doesnt believe anything is wrong, but I'm positive there is. My question is how can I approach this situation in a way that will show her I love and care for her, but I also really think shes gotta talk to someone at the very least. Shes the love of my life, I'm convinced, but she cant expect to achieve her goals if she keeps attacking everyone around her pushing loved ones away.TL:DR my girlfriend has some kind of mental disorder (I'm pretty sure its BPD) but she wont talk to anyone or seek out help. How can I get her the help she needs?
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