My [30F] husband [32M] can't resolve conflicts. Any conflicts. And it's making me hate him.

So I'll start by saying that my husband used to be a warm and caring person.

I'll call him Alex. Alex had a fall out with friends over the last year and he's turned into a cold and bitter man. Friends ghosted him. Started going out without him. Left him on read. Excluded him from activities. Slowly, my husband turned into a recluse.

Alex only has 2 friends left. I have friends too, 6 or 8. I have girls night once a month. We call and text. Hangout. While my husband mostly keeps to himself now.

Whenever an issue comes up with his 2 last friends, Alex won't bother to call or talk about it with them to solve things. Last week, they had plans to all hangout but he wasn't feeling it so he stayed home. Instead of calling, he just ghosted his friends. They waited at the restaurant 2 hours. He just ignored texts and phone calls.

Of course, it's making him grumpy, lonely and even depressed. When I ask him what happened, he just say he hates people now. I love and support my husband but he keeps avoiding conflicts and conflict resolutions and I just see a bad person when I look at him now. Someone cold, who doesn't care about people's feelings. His last 2 friends. They love Alex and they try their best to include him and make him feel loved but he treats them like shit.

Meanwhile, I'm home and I hear what happened and how poorly he handles himself and situations, and I hate it. I was raised in the south where politeness is a big thing and he's rude. Not the man I fell in love.

When I talk to him about it, he tells me I'm wrong for taking his friends side. When in reality, I do so because I think Alex is a jerk to his 2 last friends.

Idk what to do.

TL;DR My husband is avoidant, can't handle conflicts resolutions well, turned into a jerk to his friends, and it's making me resentful.



Submitted October 25, 2019 at 12:06AM

So I'll start by saying that my husband used to be a warm and caring person.I'll call him Alex. Alex had a fall out with friends over the last year and he's turned into a cold and bitter man. Friends ghosted him. Started going out without him. Left him on read. Excluded him from activities. Slowly, my husband turned into a recluse.Alex only has 2 friends left. I have friends too, 6 or 8. I have girls night once a month. We call and text. Hangout. While my husband mostly keeps to himself now.Whenever an issue comes up with his 2 last friends, Alex won't bother to call or talk about it with them to solve things. Last week, they had plans to all hangout but he wasn't feeling it so he stayed home. Instead of calling, he just ghosted his friends. They waited at the restaurant 2 hours. He just ignored texts and phone calls.Of course, it's making him grumpy, lonely and even depressed. When I ask him what happened, he just say he hates people now. I love and support my husband but he keeps avoiding conflicts and conflict resolutions and I just see a bad person when I look at him now. Someone cold, who doesn't care about people's feelings. His last 2 friends. They love Alex and they try their best to include him and make him feel loved but he treats them like shit.Meanwhile, I'm home and I hear what happened and how poorly he handles himself and situations, and I hate it. I was raised in the south where politeness is a big thing and he's rude. Not the man I fell in love.When I talk to him about it, he tells me I'm wrong for taking his friends side. When in reality, I do so because I think Alex is a jerk to his 2 last friends.Idk what to do.TL;DR My husband is avoidant, can't handle conflicts resolutions well, turned into a jerk to his friends, and it's making me resentful.
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