I love my parents but they want me to get married which I'm not ready for.

I'm a 23 year old girl from Saudi Arabia who ran away a few months ago to avoid an arranged marriage by my family. I left because I hated living in Saudi and I wasn't happy, during the time I was there I met someone (M27) online and we fell in love. When I ran away I came over to his country and I'm currently living with him. While I'm currently still in touch with my parents and siblings they don't know where I am but they know that I'm safe. They want to know where I am but I made it clear that I've moved out and I want to live independently.

I want to fix my relationship with my dad and mom but I don't want to tell them that I'm living with a man outside of marriage and they would disapprove of that. I want them back in my life but I know they're going to ask us to get married right away so that no one in our extended family would shame me or my parents. I honestly don't know if I wanna get married ever, but that doesn't seem to work with my parents, they're afraid of what people might say about me or them since it's a religious country and something like this would be taboo and scandalous. I love this man and I'm confident that I would live the rest of my life with him.

I was thinking about getting a civil marriage and then come clean to my parents but I don't know how they'd react. I've been told parents will love their children no matter what... But is this always accurate?

I honestly don't know what to do but I know that I want my parents to be in our life.

Tl;Dr ran away from Saudi Arabia, living with my boyfriend but I would like to have my parents back in my life and that might not happen unless I "make things right" do I get married to keep my parents in my life?



Submitted October 24, 2019 at 11:47PM

I'm a 23 year old girl from Saudi Arabia who ran away a few months ago to avoid an arranged marriage by my family. I left because I hated living in Saudi and I wasn't happy, during the time I was there I met someone (M27) online and we fell in love. When I ran away I came over to his country and I'm currently living with him. While I'm currently still in touch with my parents and siblings they don't know where I am but they know that I'm safe. They want to know where I am but I made it clear that I've moved out and I want to live independently.I want to fix my relationship with my dad and mom but I don't want to tell them that I'm living with a man outside of marriage and they would disapprove of that. I want them back in my life but I know they're going to ask us to get married right away so that no one in our extended family would shame me or my parents. I honestly don't know if I wanna get married ever, but that doesn't seem to work with my parents, they're afraid of what people might say about me or them since it's a religious country and something like this would be taboo and scandalous. I love this man and I'm confident that I would live the rest of my life with him.I was thinking about getting a civil marriage and then come clean to my parents but I don't know how they'd react. I've been told parents will love their children no matter what... But is this always accurate?I honestly don't know what to do but I know that I want my parents to be in our life.Tl;Dr ran away from Saudi Arabia, living with my boyfriend but I would like to have my parents back in my life and that might not happen unless I "make things right" do I get married to keep my parents in my life?
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Add Comments, Posts, Links... etc.

Popular posts from this blog

The difference between being right and being understood

My boyfriend and I are 28. We’ve been together for about 1.5 years and recently moved in together. He’s a pretty patient and easygoing person (Type B) whereas I’m more particular (Type A). Of course there are two sides to every trait, and my Type A nature benefits us in some ways too. Like all couples, we have differences in perspective or preference. When this happens, he will usually say something like “I disagree (with your perspective) but fine.” I tend to push the issue in an attempt to get him to understand where I’m coming from. This escalates the disagreement into a fight because he perceives it as me trying to be “right”. I truly just want to be understood (and I want to understand where he’s coming from) so I’m looking for more of a dialogue whereas he avoids conflict and just wants it to be over as quickly as possible. His general approach is “agree to disagree” but that doesn’t make sense to me when it’s an issue that will keep coming up and requires compromise. I’m n
Read more

My (27f) gf (27f) is getting tired of me not sharing intimate/ personal info about me

I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love with her, however I can not seem to open up... and I can tell it’s frustrating to her by the way she tells me it bothers her that she feels she’s the only one committed and the one that’s always sharing... At this point I don’t even know if it is that I’ve gotten too used to it, to the point I’ve became lazy to talk about myself or give any genuine personal opinion... it sucks, really, I need to communicate better... Where do I start? Tl;dr: I can’t be completely intimate with my gf and its frustrating her, I need to communicate better because I really love her... where to start? Submitted April 25, 2019 at 06:02AM I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love
Read more

My (23M) girlfriend (25F) relationship is confusing to me. I might be the problem, or maybe we are just incompatible.

I met my girlfriend after a few serious breakups that led me to change both intentionally and unintentionally over a few years. For better and for worse. She had just gotten out of an engagement with a verbally and physically abusive man who had a cocaine problem. We have been together about 8 months now. We hit it off and spent a lot of time together but she began to push our relationship as if there were a time clock for milestones. I was pressed beyond my comfort zone and went with it because of my affection for her. My living situation fell apart and I lost a few thousand dollars to shit roommates right around the time she and I met and she offered to let me stay with her. I agreed with some resistance. I pay for food, help her with bills, and throw money toward rent while trying to get back on my feet. As long as we have been together she has gotten more possessive, angry, and irrational. She is dealing with shit from her engagement and I feel shes looking for a level of seriou
Read more