Should I go with the flow or listen to anxiety?

This dude and I have been texting on Tinder now for around 2 weeks. The texting has been decent, flirty and fairly entertaining. I've really been enjoying messaging him, which always makes me feel a bit anxious about potential hurt and disappointment.

So, we haven't yet met due to me being away the first week of texting, and due to him being busy moving house. I have suggested going for drinks twice now, to which he has said he will arrange something with me once he is sorted.

He moved in fully yesterday and still there seems to be no attempt to ask me out, in fact the texting has slowed down on his part. I've asked what he wants out of Tinder and it's, like me, just seeing what happens, meeting people, etc.

I'm just struggling at the moment with the uncertainty of meeting him, I'm feeling more and more anxious that he is losing interest and if he wanted to see me, he would have arranged something already, because that's what I would do. I also feel like I'm invested after talking to him for so long now, I'd be upset if he bailed. I usually try and meet people off tinder ASAP...

So, do I listen to my anxiety telling me something is off, or do I accept that he is more chill and easy going than I am, and wait for him to get back to me...?

Tl;Dr is any sign of anxiety a red flag when in the initial stages of dating, or do you have to relinquish control sometimes? Are people really just bad at planning even when they are interested?



Submitted September 01, 2019 at 11:55PM

This dude and I have been texting on Tinder now for around 2 weeks. The texting has been decent, flirty and fairly entertaining. I've really been enjoying messaging him, which always makes me feel a bit anxious about potential hurt and disappointment.So, we haven't yet met due to me being away the first week of texting, and due to him being busy moving house. I have suggested going for drinks twice now, to which he has said he will arrange something with me once he is sorted.He moved in fully yesterday and still there seems to be no attempt to ask me out, in fact the texting has slowed down on his part. I've asked what he wants out of Tinder and it's, like me, just seeing what happens, meeting people, etc.I'm just struggling at the moment with the uncertainty of meeting him, I'm feeling more and more anxious that he is losing interest and if he wanted to see me, he would have arranged something already, because that's what I would do. I also feel like I'm invested after talking to him for so long now, I'd be upset if he bailed. I usually try and meet people off tinder ASAP...So, do I listen to my anxiety telling me something is off, or do I accept that he is more chill and easy going than I am, and wait for him to get back to me...?Tl;Dr is any sign of anxiety a red flag when in the initial stages of dating, or do you have to relinquish control sometimes? Are people really just bad at planning even when they are interested?
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