[rant] I've got that feeling again.

It's a problem I've constantly had, and probably the same for lots of people.

I've met this girl and I'm feeling that kind of very strong crushing that hurts a lot. I'm a very young adult and I haven't ever done anything relationship wise or sex wise. Never kissed a girl. I've only told one girl ages ago that I had feelings for her (turned down but hey) and I felt like I was about to explode during that. That's the most I've ever stuck my neck outI want all of these things so so badly though. I'm so hopeful yet full of despair. I switch between all the emotions rapidly. She probably isn't interested. She might be able to tell how I feel already. She might think I'm 'cute' but not someone she could 'feel that way' about. She might like me, but I'll never stick my neck out and ask because that's who I am. That's who I always will be. Two or three girls have actually been interested in me before, but I missed the opportunities without even knowing because I don't have great social skills. So maybe she is interested, and I just need to strike while the iron is hot. Or again, maybe I'll waste my time and embarrass both of us. And I've felt like this lots of times, so maybe it's just a phase. Maybe everything I think right now is pointless because they'll be another girl that will make head spin and my heart pound and I'll try to talk with her and do those awkward peeks hoping she doesn't see me seeing her. All my life I've acted like love is going to fall into my lap, but it's not, so it's time I grab it with both hands. Fuck fuck fuck. This stuff is fucking with my soul right now.

How do I stick out my neck? How do I do it when it will actually work? How do I know it will be worth it? When will it be worth it? Heeeeeeeeelllllllllllppppp!!!



Submitted September 25, 2019 at 11:36PM

It's a problem I've constantly had, and probably the same for lots of people.I've met this girl and I'm feeling that kind of very strong crushing that hurts a lot. I'm a very young adult and I haven't ever done anything relationship wise or sex wise. Never kissed a girl. I've only told one girl ages ago that I had feelings for her (turned down but hey) and I felt like I was about to explode during that. That's the most I've ever stuck my neck outI want all of these things so so badly though. I'm so hopeful yet full of despair. I switch between all the emotions rapidly. She probably isn't interested. She might be able to tell how I feel already. She might think I'm 'cute' but not someone she could 'feel that way' about. She might like me, but I'll never stick my neck out and ask because that's who I am. That's who I always will be. Two or three girls have actually been interested in me before, but I missed the opportunities without even knowing because I don't have great social skills. So maybe she is interested, and I just need to strike while the iron is hot. Or again, maybe I'll waste my time and embarrass both of us. And I've felt like this lots of times, so maybe it's just a phase. Maybe everything I think right now is pointless because they'll be another girl that will make head spin and my heart pound and I'll try to talk with her and do those awkward peeks hoping she doesn't see me seeing her. All my life I've acted like love is going to fall into my lap, but it's not, so it's time I grab it with both hands. Fuck fuck fuck. This stuff is fucking with my soul right now.How do I stick out my neck? How do I do it when it will actually work? How do I know it will be worth it? When will it be worth it? Heeeeeeeeelllllllllllppppp!!!
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